Day 7
Loops: 6
Versions: Ultrasonic only
Dominance, Fear and Tears
Personal Relationships
Last night, something sad happened.
Every time I get home, my wife jumps into my arms. I love it. It’s the best moment in my entire day. Last night, was no exception.
So I get home, my wife hugs me and kisses me. I have to workout, but I’m tired. The night before I hadn’t much sleep. I decide to skip my day, so I can stay with my wife a bit more.
The night goes beautifully. We laugh. We’re having a great time together.
At one moment, however, things take a bad turn. We talk about something we hear at the TV. We share opinions. We confront. The conversation heats up. We argue. We fight for the dumbest thing in the world. She’s angry.
I approach her. I had a couple of glass of wine.
She says: “leave me alone!” and goes away from me. I take her arm. I’m in the heat of the moment and I’m not thinking straight. But one thing I know.
All I want in this moment is to DOMINATE her.
I grab both of her arms. My grip is so tight that she can barely move. She punches me on my chest. She’s screaming. “I’m gonna kick you in your balls”, she says and so she does.
But I don’t move. I let her go. She goes in the corner. She cries. “You hurt me”, she says in tears.
I come back to myself. I say: “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry… I just wanted to calm you down. I wanted you to feel my strength so you’d calm down”. “All you did was scare me”.
At firsts, I didn’t want to tell you this. I’m so embarrassed. I feel shame for myself for what happened. But in the end I decided I’d write about this because there’s one thing I must share with you.
Which is that EmperorQ is very powerful. And with power comes responsibility, like Uncle Ben used to say.
Understand: I am NOT saying that EmperorQ will make you want to beat women. It didn’t in my case. Yet, I felt the need to dominate very clearly. So happens that I was a little drunk and my conscious mind couldn’t see the difference between positive dominance and aggressive dominance. The line was a little blurred.
I’m not sure but, I think EmperorQ is neutral. It doesn’t know what is good, and what is bad.
YOU have to know that.
Sometimes this isn’t easy. But imagine what you could do knowing that you have this power already within you. All you need to do is set a direction, a good one, unleash it and see reality bending before you.
I shall learn from this experience and use it to enhance my awareness.
By the way, me and my wife we made peace. Usually, she would still be angry now. I don’t know. Today she’s been as loving as she can be. We’re having fun as usual. I’m not completely excluding that she liked that dominance, a little bit.
Career
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Today I studied for my upcoming exam. I’ve found no problem concentrating and had a productive morning. No work today so I don’t have much news in this regard. I’ll get back to the office on Monday.
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I think my spending habits are improving. This morning I made a saving plan for the year.
Social
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This morning we went shopping, my wife and I. I am definitely more confident around people I don’t know, now.
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Swagger walk!
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Extreme eye contact. I have a feeling people are almost intimidated by my look?
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I slept very well this night. I don’t sleep more, but I sleep more deeply.
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Except a dream about my CEO a few days go, I haven’t had any dreams in the last couple of days. That’s a pity, I’d really like to remember them.
We’ll see what tomorrow brings.