So, interesting day.
Despite waking up tired (like many others it seems) and with a headache, my mood was great after a loop or so of EQ. I felt confident and happy in the morning, and interactions with people were effortless. I threw flirty looks and smiles at attractive young women without really thinking about it.
Around noon my headache and tiredness got a lot worse and I hit a bit of a wall. I considered just going home, but stuck with it and my mid afternoon the headache faded and some energy returned, but generally felt a bit listless.
Later, while sitting on the train heading home, I slipped into a depressed mood, with strong feelings of loss and loneliness and regret. I do have my low points at times but this was different and out of character for me, I don’t normally waste my time dwelling on regrets for things in the past.
Additionally, I started thinking of the start-up I was involved with, and whether I really wanted to be involved. There’s no doubt the potential there is big, and with my equity I figure 5 years of effort could potentially net me millions. But I realized my heart wasn’t actually in it. I’ve previously said I didn’t give a damn about building an empire, and I meant it. But my time with Ev4 seems to have shifted my focus to exactly that. So now I have to decide if I want to continue with it or walk away. Plus I can feel the spiritual path calling to me again.
I’m thinking a lot of this is coming from New Beginnings. It’s funny, I ran Ev4 for a couple of months and felt nothing from NB, and now only a couple of days into EQ and it kicks me square in the gut.
Right now I’m bone-tired and somewhat at a loss about how to proceed. Will sleep on it and hope for some guidance.