“Go and get your things,” he said. “Dreams mean work”
– Paulo Coelho, By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept
I had some days on Emperor v4 where I couldn’t sleep well.
It turned out to be a temporary condition that went away after 4-5 days.
But to help it along, I stopped all subs during that time around 2h before bedtime.
Could this be a practical workaround for you?
There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.
– Paulo Coelho
Thanks for the tip. My problem with sleeping is wanting to cram 36 hours of stuff into a 24 hour day. And after losing 10 hours to the new job I can’t seem to find the time to sleep properly. Must have slept 3-5 hours for the past 3 days. Tonight is no different.
Today was weird. I got a bit frustrated when writing a mail and my boss told me exactly how I could have handled that better. Never had that before. Didn’t feel very good, being confronted with my own flaws. Obviously it’s a valuable lesson.
Other than that, I continue to feel energized, taller somehow. Not actually taller, it’s more my posture that’s improved, giving the feeling of being taller. I know this sounds weird, but I sometimes feel like I want to keep moving. Not just that, but actually moving forward. Like I want to push through whatever (or whomever) is in the way, as long as I can keep going in a forward direction.
Don’t remember any dreams, but I probably haven’t slept enough to dream well, so my body instead uses what little time I have to go too deep for proper dreams. Not to mention with 2-3 sleep cycles I’d have no more than 30 minutes of dream-time.
Is it necessary to start with a quote here?
- Victor
Anyways, I’m breaking the fashion here 
Just physically moving forward or you’re getting the drive to move forward. If you’re getting what I’m saying.
Emperor is the ruler of his own reality. The man who would stop at nothing but becoming the pure excellence, which is his birthright. He won’t be phased out by anything out of himself. And he WILL create the reality he wants.
All hail the Emperor inside of yourselves!
– Victor
I like the idea of doing something different with my journals. The first one had off-topic stuff, but I don’t have enough fun facts for daily posts. So with this one I do thematic quotes. Since this is a test of a revolutionary new product, the theme is “new things.” Unless someone throws in a quote by somebody, then I will try to find something else of theirs to quote. I guess I got lucky this time, found a good one.
I have a bunch of self-imposed rules for the Music Thread as well.
And yes, actually physically moving forward. I can be standing behind two people and I get the urge to gently move them aside and pass through. But sure, the drive to keep doing things is also there. Don’t have to be new things, anything will do.
Today was a good day. Things went my way for most of the day at work, so it’s a good start of the weekend.
EQ continues to make me feel energized. It makes it easy to stay up late and to stay awake during the day. But something has got to give. I started the week with no coffee and ended with two. For me, that’s two more than I usually need.
The new Phoenix Point expansion just came out and I really wish I had time to play.
I did about 6 loops during work and maybe the same before day’s end (I write this during the day and post before going to bed). I would have thought it was more, only had a few breaks.
Since starting EQ @DarkPhilosopher, your focus and intention while writing is much more focused and said with true meaning.
I’d like to let you know it comes across. It’s refreshing to read
At first people refuse to believe that a strange new thing can be done, then they begin to hope it can be done, then they see it can be done – then it is done and all the world wonders why it was not done centuries ago.
– Frances Hodgson Burnett
Thanks, subguy! Even though I can interpret it as how annoying my older posts are. 
Maybe it is EQ. I’ve been getting more short and to the point in other areas of my life as well.
Even though I slept for an average of 3.5 hours pretty much the entire week, when I gave my subconscious permission to sleep in today, he took about 8 hours before waking me up. I continue to be impressed by what us human beings are capable of.
Still no dreams. I’m used to it, I usually only get them (or remember them) when I sleep longer than needed. I thought EQ would trigger some though.
In place of dreams, I created a “little” guided visualization in the Music Thread. Wasn’t planning on going on for hours, but I’m a natural storyteller so it took on a life of its own from the moment I closed my eyes and started visualizing.
I notice I no longer move aside for people. You know how you can be walking on the sidewalk and somebody comes at you and the two of you play chicken to find out who moves to the other part of the sidewalk? Well, it ain’t me no more.
I had a great interaction with a girl at the store. She had her nose pierced and I didn’t even hesitate before asking her if that hurt. It’s like “I’m curious, let’s go and ask.”
Who needs approach anxiety, right?
Didn’t get a whole lot done, but that’s fine. For now.
Everyone has a ‘risk muscle.’ You keep it in shape by trying new things. If you don’t, it atrophies. Make a point of using it at least once a day.
– Roger von Oech
Slept for around 5 hours, but I slept deep. My body is here typing this, but my mind is not quite there yet.
Had a dream. I remember very little. I was an FBI agent investigating a bunch of Voodoo murders in New Orleans. I had just gone undercover to speak to a man called “Mother” and get my hands on the especially potent drug that was used in the murders when I woke up.
How do you know you’ve been binge-watching Criminal Minds?
Something I noticed over the past week. I’ve been eating a bit more and my body temperature is higher than usual (I’m running hot, especially at night). Probably because of the stress caused by the new job, but I’m mentioning it for future reference.
I do keep feeling like eating healthier. I think within the next few weeks I’ll be eating only healthy things.
I listened throughout most of the day. Didn’t do much, but I feel good about it nonetheless. Off to take a shower and jump into a very cozy bed.
That is very interesting indeed. I am working in a hospital right now so I am measuring my vital parameters from time to time. It seems like my heart rate is higher when I listen to EQ. My normal pulse is around 50-70 whereas I am now measuring 100-110 bpm (my health otherwise is in perfect condition). I first thought that this might be because of the new work environment but more evidence suggests that EQ could be behind that too. More investigation is needed but yeah very unusual that you report something similar @DarkPhilosopher
Guys, let’s not veer into conspiracy territory.
@DarkPhilosopher, your body is “running hot” because of the energetic / aura scripting in emperorQ. You’re eating more to produce that energy.
The increased heart rate is most likely the result of stress and anxiety of the new workplace. Your heart rate may be increasing from the anticipation of actually checking it — mine does that regularly.
Now, of course it’s fine to speculate and report, but let’s take care not to attribute everything to emperorQ. The script actually prioritizes emotional health, stress reduction and relaxation (hence the euphoric, happy feelings). I didn’t want to reveal these things, but enough people are reporting it that I now know that scripting works.
You never know what’s around the corner unless you peek. Hold someone’s hand while you do it. You will feel less scared.
– Amy Poehler
@SaintSovereign Hey! Spoilers!
You’ll notice I didn’t actually mention anything about an increased heart rate (that was friday). I’m not actively checking mine (it’s slightly higher, but that’s probably my digestion at work and the recent change of pace).
I did theorize my new job had something to do with it and that I only mentioned it for future reference. I like looking back to see when I noticed it.
You know by now that I’m a skeptic, more inclined to claim I did it all by myself than say it was the subs. But I’m jotting down the changes anyway. Call it an exercise in self-observation.
Back to our regularly scheduled programming…
My subconscious woke me up nice and early. Then my conscious kicked in and figured the bed was way too cozy to get out. For over an hour…
Although I’m still distracted more than I’d like, I’m quite focused at work and can get back into what I was doing quickly. Been writing out a server installation in PowerShell from memory. That’s fun. The good old days, when a mouse was a luxury.
I’m becoming more active also, walking up 48 flights of stairs, taking the bike to (and from) work and doing my yoga. My calves despise me.
Unfortunately I didn’t listen all too much today.
I never travel without my diary. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.
– Oscar Wilde
Looks like yesterday’s post got lost in translation… to binary.
Not much happened. The feeling of confidence/determination persists. As does the feeling of general feelin’ good about life. The latter to the annoyance of people around me, the constant whistling is starting to bug them.
Right now my biggest challenge is waking up early. I’m a natural night owl, meaning I get lots of resistance from within. I’m considering going to bed right after coming home after work, waking up naturally somewhere during the night and starting then. Over time I can slowly move it later. Problem then is my social life. On the plus side, today is the first day on EQ that I’m actually tired at night.
If you didn’t have the answer somewhere within you, you wouldn’t conceive of the question.
– Bashar
Well, the lack of sleep for the past weeks finally hit me today. I had a day off and spent most of it sleeping. So about today, there’s not much to report.
As for yesterday, work is becoming easier. I’ve been playing with some new stuff and I’m absorbing the new skills at a rapid pace. I was actually surprised at how easy it is to adapt. I’m tapping into stuff I learned about ages ago.
Conversations are also easy, I can talk with complete strangers as if we’ve known each other for the longest time. Still won’t approach them cold, but if I see an opening I’m in.
Of course, the Mexican beer craze has finally hit my region as well. No more shaking hands, work from home when possible and avoid social gatherings.
Part of me is jumping at the opportunity to beat this disease in record time, strengthening my immune system while doing so. I can see myself going into a fast, meditating for days straight, then getting up like I was never sick at all.
EQ continues to give me the feeling that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be right now. No regrets at missed opportunities. Whatever happened, happened. I’m looking forward.
The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.
– Louis E. Boone
Apologies about the hiatus, not much to report over the past few days. With the enforced quarantine going on everywhere I’ve experienced a bit of a regression. I’ve kept more in touch with my friends on the phone and Net, but no new people, obviously.
I continue to do great at work, but I can now also use the extra time to work on my mental and spiritual side. There’s so many free initiatives going on everywhere right now, focused on mindfulness, yoga and meditation. I might as well join in.
Practiced some Quantum Light breathing today. Essentially Wim Hof breathing, but for 40 minutes. I don’t care how they want to phrase it, in the end it is still hyperventilating. But I can imagine it does boost both oxygen and energy. Even if it can make the average person lose consciousness…
Now if only I can overcome my cravings and go into a nice fast. Having to stay at home without groceries, there’s no time like the present. I doubt the quarantine will be lifted for at least another two weeks. Could even do a strict dry fast, although that might be tricky if I do need to go outside for whatever reason.
Anyways, I feel like I can take on whatever comes my way. Perhaps it’s a bit overconfident, but it beats the alternative.
Life is worthwhile if you try. It doesn’t mean you can do everything but there are a lot of things you can do, if you just try.
– Jim Rohn
I’ve been at odds with my upstairs neighbor pretty much since he moved in. Either I make too much noise or he’s doing yet another renovation at the strangest hours of the day. And now he’s just sold his house. Since I’m chairman of the Home Owner’s Association, we’ve been communicating a lot. My guess is the way in which I’ve been communicating has improved, since today he offered to get me groceries since he was going to the store.
With the quarantine I’ve been sleeping in a little. Meaning I get more sleep again. And waking up later. But once I get started, I feel like one of those trains bashing through the snow, stopping for nothing. Possibly that’s normal for me whenever there are no distractions. Either way, I wish working from home was always an option.
I don’t know if Limitless is still in this one, but I’ve been happily scripting everything lately. Even things that used to be too hard now seem obvious, like I knew how to all along. I mean obviously I knew, I just didn’t connect the right dots before.
You know what I just considered? For the socially challenged people of the world, Corona is leveling the playing field. Now everybody is staying in going stir crazy.
Epictetus said there are things in your life that you’re in control of, and then there are things in your life that you’re not in control of. If you stop trying to control or change things that are not under your control anyway, you will remove a whole load of pointless frustration and anxiety from your life.
He added to that, there are only two things that you are in control of. Your thoughts and your actions. Everything else - what other people do, what they think, what they think of you, how they behave - you can’t control any of that, anyway.
If you stop trying to fix it or change it in some way, if you just decide anything on that side is fine and let it go, nothing bad happens. You feel better. You feel happier. You feel relief.
– Derren Brown, "Miracle"
Bit of a large and odd quote today. Thing is, few people can teach you as well how your mind works and how to use it for self-development as mentalists can. And Derren Brown is one of the ones that often tells people exactly how he did it so they know how their mind allowed itself to be manipulated.
In this show, Miracle, which you can find on Netflix, he states the above. He also teaches a woman to eat glass from a broken lightbulb, then gives the other shards to her so the next time she feels she can’t do something, all she has to do is look at those shards and remember she ate glass.
He then goes on to do some faith healing to prove how powerful our mind is if we just change the story from negative to positive.
If you’ve got the time, watch it. Learn something.
Anyways, back to the journal.
I’ve added Aegis NOVID on top of EQ. It’s a bit louder than EQ, so every time it comes up I go from heavy rainfall outside to sitting in a canoe rushing down a wild river.
I feel like it has an effect, like something changed, but I have no clue what.
For the past few days, I got really motivated to do a bit of spring cleaning, my home office now is a lot more spacious. A decluttered office is a decluttered mind. We’ll see if it helps when I get back to work.
I’ve also contacted some people I haven’t spoken to in a while. My old neighbor, to ask about his health and that of his family. My ex-stepmom, she’s definitely in the risk-group. And I’ve been joking around with people at stores everywhere. They are all behind glass plates now, so why not make fun of it, using sign language, asking about life in the aquarium, trying to pay from a distance.
All in all, I feel good. I’m having fun. Chin up, chest forward, a smile on my face. Seeing children play outside on the playground makes me feel like things are slowly returning back to normal. Not too fast though, I really, really like working from home.
Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
This feeling that everything is going to be just fine with the current crisis, that’s Aegis, right?
I’ve been having a bit of a difficult time since I started it. Yes, I feel great mentally, but at the same time I can’t seem to focus on work, can’t get momentum and enthusiasm going. It’s like moving through tar.
Then again, I haven’t been feeling 100% since the weekend. A bit of a clogged nose, yesterday my eyelids felt like I had a raised temperature which wasn’t the case, and I have been feeling a bit chilly. Finally, I can’t seem to become “awake” in the morning.
I want that EQ bring-it-on motivation back.
Don’t worry about failures, worry about the chances you miss when you don’t even try.
– Jack Canfield
Took me half the day to get into the groove of things yesterday. Had a dull headache for most of the day. But I’m satisfied with what I accomplished.
Something odd happened. I’ve been spending most of my time on my comfortable backside and haven’t done a lot of exercise. But yesterday I notices my glutes and hips feel as if I’ve been doing a LOT of exercise.
So I figured I’d do some yin yoga, get those muscles to stay flexible while healing. And even though I felt more discomfort than I’ve felt in a long time while stretching, I was also able to go really far into the stretches. I mean, I was able to do this one…
I do have a theory that may be completely incorrect. In yoga, it is believed that emotions reside in the hips. The tighter the hips, the more “stuck” your emotions are. Which is why some people doing hip-opening stretches burst into tears or are confronted with all kinds of memories they have to deal with to move on.
If that is correct, then what if you reverse it? If the subliminals trigger emotional freedom and release, would there be a corresponding response in the body to “open up” the hips?
PS I know what you are thinking. Yes, that pose is very unfriendly to male genitalia.
Don’t let fear or insecurity stop you from trying new things. Believe in yourself. Do what you love. And most importantly, be kind to others, even if you don’t like them.
– Stacy London
I’ve settled into a bit of a routine being locked inside most of the time. So there’s less to journal.
My productivity has gone up the past few days. Been picking up some things I haven’t been doing for a while. And some things I have been meaning to do for a while. I notice that once I get started, I tend to keep going until I’ve done way more than I had planned to do.
There is something peculiar. Now before I tell you, keep in mind this does not have to be the subs. Could be a side-effect of my personal growth. Could be anything. Got that? Good.
There’s a question somebody once posed to me. He said that some people believe rich people became rich because they were living rich (essentially spending more than they had) and they then compensated by doing what they needed to do to support that lifestyle.
While other people started by earning the money first, then adapted to their increased means by spending more and adopting a richer lifestyle.
He asked me which of these I thought was the truth, and which would I prefer.
I’ve always been very disciplined with my money. For example, I have actually never bought a laptop because every time I want to, I realize that if I just wait a little bit, there will be a newer model. I have paid off all my debts, including my mortgage. And I don’t even heat the house unless I have someone over.
Is this a scarcity mindset? A sensible one? Or something else? I’d love to hear your ideas.
Anyway, recently I started worrying less about the money. Which is strange, since there is a chance my new job contract gets cancelled over the coming week due to the circumstances. Only one month after I started, after a year of being unemployed. With several thousands worth of bills waiting to be paid.
And yet, I have been purchasing lots of quality of life improvements. Stuff that makes me happy, fulfilled. Add it all together and I spent more in the past month than I spent in the past two years. Mind you, I was unemployed last year, so I spent nearly nothing.
So why would I suddenly change from my normal disciplined mindset into an “everything is absolutely going to be fine” mindset of abundance? The subconscious confidence that I won’t run into financial trouble in the future?
Is it the subs? What effect might this mindset have? Looking a few paragraphs above at the first group of people, what if I will automatically start compensating for my increased spending by finding new ways to support it?
It’s curious, and definitely something I mean to keep an eye on.
Might not even be related to finances at all. I started experiencing this a few years ago also. Before that period, I tended to deny myself various pleasures. I was very frugal with EVERYTHING and was endlessly saving money. At the end of the day, however, I had a fat bank account but ultimately wasn’t happy with my life. Eventually, I realized that this wasn’t even related to fears regarding money – subconsciously felt that I was undeserving of the nicer things in life. That those things were reserved for people who were “higher status” than I was. Once I realized that, I started buying things high end luxury items that I knew I would enjoy.
Hope that makes sense. The StarkQ launch has exhausted me, haha.
Always trying new things is always more fun, and it can be scary, but it’s always more fun in the end.
– John Krasinski
Weird dream. Don’t remember much, but the last thing I remember is being in a school gym and being approached by someone that wanted me to join the local parent-organization. There was an implication there was more going on there than just planning the next social event.
Had some slow days where I couldn’t get much done, I kept getting distracted.
I did get a call from a homeless guy that works at the volunteer center. I had been wondering how he was, him being 55 and living in somebody’s shed. For him, the isolation would have been driving him crazy. Turns out he is still allowed to man the phone and accept packages for the center. At least during the morning and afternoon. It’s awesome he called.
I’ve been thinking about Saint’s answer above. Thing is, for me it is probably not a matter of status. I have always maintained it is probably best for me not to meet heads of state because I refuse to kneel, bow or show any sign of submission. As far as I am concerned I am as high in status as they are, and until they prove themselves worthy to me through their deeds, they get the same amount of respect and politeness I would give any stranger I meet.
So it wouldn’t be about status, I have that in spades. It could, however, be about fear. I spent some time in the past living on the street without a single possession in my name. I had to struggle and claw my way to where I am.
And somehow that appears to have left me with an almost OCD-like quality concerning my house. I fought for that house, my safe place, my retreat when nature or society gets too much. And I can’t deal with the idea of losing it. I check all electrical outlets and faucets before leaving against a possible fire or leak. I spend several minutes before I can convince myself the door is actually locked now, before I can go somewhere. And the idea of having no financial means scares me, because it would mean I couldn’t keep the house. I’d lose my safe place. As long as I have it, I can take on the world, but without it…
Funny thing is that if the neighborhood were to blow up and I’d lose everything, it would probably take a day to get over it and begin the process of rebuilding. I can accept force majeure, just not user-error.
Anyways, that’s why my spending spree is so surprising to me.
To end this post on a positive note, I’ve joined several small free yoga-challenges, a 10-minute morning yoga challenge for 30 days and a 5 minute breathing practice for 21 days. It’s fun to spend just a little time every day doing something that relieves stress and feels great.
I’ve also invested a lot of the excess energy into scripting. I’ve been installing a webserver at work using nothing but Powershell (with a few unfortunate exceptions), the script is somewhere around 700 lines by now. And that’s normalized, where I created functions for repetitive tasks.
At home, I found out that my Windows Powershell can seamlessly connect to Linux Powershell using SSH, so I’ve been writing scripts for Linux that will offload some of the maintenance tasks I perform. It truly is the perfect blend between the power of a shell and the complexity of Python and much easier to read than either. I’m loving it.
Funny thing is that I really wanted to take some time to play a game or two, only to find myself being just as entertained with solving my scripting puzzles.
That said, there’s an FMV game out called The Complex, about a chemical attack. Timing is perfect. I may lose some of my weekend to it.
