Always trying new things is always more fun, and it can be scary, but it’s always more fun in the end.
– John Krasinski
Weird dream. Don’t remember much, but the last thing I remember is being in a school gym and being approached by someone that wanted me to join the local parent-organization. There was an implication there was more going on there than just planning the next social event.
Had some slow days where I couldn’t get much done, I kept getting distracted.
I did get a call from a homeless guy that works at the volunteer center. I had been wondering how he was, him being 55 and living in somebody’s shed. For him, the isolation would have been driving him crazy. Turns out he is still allowed to man the phone and accept packages for the center. At least during the morning and afternoon. It’s awesome he called.
I’ve been thinking about Saint’s answer above. Thing is, for me it is probably not a matter of status. I have always maintained it is probably best for me not to meet heads of state because I refuse to kneel, bow or show any sign of submission. As far as I am concerned I am as high in status as they are, and until they prove themselves worthy to me through their deeds, they get the same amount of respect and politeness I would give any stranger I meet.
So it wouldn’t be about status, I have that in spades. It could, however, be about fear. I spent some time in the past living on the street without a single possession in my name. I had to struggle and claw my way to where I am.
And somehow that appears to have left me with an almost OCD-like quality concerning my house. I fought for that house, my safe place, my retreat when nature or society gets too much. And I can’t deal with the idea of losing it. I check all electrical outlets and faucets before leaving against a possible fire or leak. I spend several minutes before I can convince myself the door is actually locked now, before I can go somewhere. And the idea of having no financial means scares me, because it would mean I couldn’t keep the house. I’d lose my safe place. As long as I have it, I can take on the world, but without it…
Funny thing is that if the neighborhood were to blow up and I’d lose everything, it would probably take a day to get over it and begin the process of rebuilding. I can accept force majeure, just not user-error.
Anyways, that’s why my spending spree is so surprising to me.
To end this post on a positive note, I’ve joined several small free yoga-challenges, a 10-minute morning yoga challenge for 30 days and a 5 minute breathing practice for 21 days. It’s fun to spend just a little time every day doing something that relieves stress and feels great.
I’ve also invested a lot of the excess energy into scripting. I’ve been installing a webserver at work using nothing but Powershell (with a few unfortunate exceptions), the script is somewhere around 700 lines by now. And that’s normalized, where I created functions for repetitive tasks.
At home, I found out that my Windows Powershell can seamlessly connect to Linux Powershell using SSH, so I’ve been writing scripts for Linux that will offload some of the maintenance tasks I perform. It truly is the perfect blend between the power of a shell and the complexity of Python and much easier to read than either. I’m loving it.
Funny thing is that I really wanted to take some time to play a game or two, only to find myself being just as entertained with solving my scripting puzzles.
That said, there’s an FMV game out called The Complex, about a chemical attack. Timing is perfect. I may lose some of my weekend to it.
