Saint’s journal

Journals - Major Programs
#45

I finished my first cycle on March 12, and then I tried Ascension Chamber on March 13, so my washout lasted from the 14th - 18th. It was an interesting week, and I spent a lot of time reflecting on the advice given to me in this thread as well as my introduction thread. I’m splitting this post up into two parts, and this post will be a broad summary of my washout week. The second post will be about the subliminals themselves, my thoughts, and next steps.

Some highlights/notes that I wrote down:

2023-03-11T15:00:00Z

  • 1 loop of LBFH (final official loop of the cycle)

2023-03-12T15:00:00Z

  • Gym session felt absolutely incredible. I mean the music sounded so good, I felt fantastic, and deep from within me something started to come out and I caught myself starting to cry. When I left the gym and was walking back home, I really started crying and let it all out. Again, I felt amazing – not sad – so idk what it was about.
  • Why don’t I take better care of myself? Why don’t I treat myself better?
  • When did I lose my confidence that I used to have as a teenager? I was immature, arrogant, and insecure, but I believed in myself, had pride, and achieved things. What happened to me?? I’m starting to feel like that raw version of myself again, which is making me realize how far I’ve strayed from that in the first place.
  • If you don’t like something or don’t want to do it… don’t fucking do it! It’s that simple. And hard.
  • I’ve never been one for affirmations and visualization, but trying it just now was easy. Things just came out and I could see and feel everything clearly in my mind.
  • Ascension chamber hits for sure. My motor skills feel fucked right now, it’s weirdly difficult to write and I just dropped the soap bottle uncharacteristically. I feel tired suddenly and my perception has gotten blurry.

2023-03-13T15:00:00Z

  • Unbelievable manifestation. I’m at a loss for words. Yesterday I tried out ascension chamber and one thing that was in my mind was of course girls. Today I went to buy some food from a multi-story building with multiple entrances/exits and kind of just operated on instinct in terms of what path to take to get in, up, down and out. As I was walking through an exit door I almost quite literally bumped into a PAIR of girls that basically matched what I had in my mind with ascension chamber the night before. The mask mandate finally lifted, so they weren’t wearing any masks, and they were cute and everything. I’ve long complained about not seeing or meeting many girls since coming here – especially girls of a specific type. There’s only one other time I’ve seen one over the last few years. If I read someone saying they did a manifestation technique with ascension chamber and got results the next day I wouldn’t believe it. At best I would think they’re lying and at worse I’d think they were an employee for subliminal club. But it happened to me and blew my mind. Zero chance that was a coincidence. Between this, LBFH, and how I’ve been feeling lately most likely thanks to Primal, I think I’m hooked on this subliminal stuff.

2023-03-14T15:00:00Z

  • Dream about 〇〇, a girl I met and had a shot at in December but ultimately didn’t pull the trigger and felt some regret about. I thought I was over it and haven’t thought about her much since January. The thing is, this dream was like the other ones: it felt like true closure and, for lack of better word, healing. There wasn’t anything sexual, most likely because we of course weren’t sexual in real life, but I remember very clearly her telling me to give up and that she wasn’t interested in me anymore. When I woke up I felt disappointed, but also weirdly lighter and more at peace.
  • ◉◉ at client’s office giving me a lot more attention and eye contact than usual. Held eye contact like she expected me to say something more than “goodbye” at the end. weird moment.

2023-03-15T15:00:00Z

  • Things are starting to just come out of me now. Outburst against boss, but also had a good discussion that followed. Ladies blocking everyone in the hall. wtf lol gtfo the way.
  • I’m really starting to feel like I used to in H.S. I’m not thinking so much about other people’s feelings and pushing my aggression down, and actually before I realize it I’m doing something or saying something that may or may not get me in trouble. I need to be careful though seriously.
  • Manager at client’s office super pleased when I asked about her injury/surgery results and she ran over quickly like a little girl (and the way she was talking too) to talk to me and show me the x rays in a casual manner despite an actual customer being processed in front of us. Japanese people typically stand at attention when customers are around/when money is being paid so I was surprised. To be fair, ◉◉ was handling it but normally they’d both focus and I would just nod and leave. But also to be fair, normally I wouldn’t interrupt them so maybe it’s my action and less to do about them personally. ◉◉ staring at me again like something is going on. what in the fook is her problem.

2023-03-17T15:00:00Z

  • Day 9 of James Clear (use a habit tracker) (honestly, I won’t)

Other notes:

  • Finished unassisted squat hold 30 minutes @ level 3. I tested on flat ground and it really didn’t feel any different. Although I’ve felt changes in my ankles, shins and feet themselves (I can now move my toes a bit individually and flex/spread them) I’m a bit disappointed that I’m still immediately falling backwards. Will either go to level 2 or see if I can’t use my arms to counterbalance and start practicing on flat ground (level 1) from here.
  • Food plan worked extremely well. I think I have cracked the code on how to do it, now it’s a matter of managing money and execution to make sure everything stays stocked. This philosophy is quite good and makes things much easier to manage than before. Cooking is still a drag but it’s been severely reduced and I can batch it into one moment of my day. Getting vegetables in without much hassle, and drinking this veggie juice has also been great. As long as I make sure to drink plenty of water on top of that I feel good overall. Super stoked!
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#46

As for the subliminals…

I started this journal knowing nothing, expecting nothing, and feeling absolutely nothing. The most impactful thing for me at the beginning, and it’s hard to believe it was only a month ago, was opening up about my terrible situation and mindset and getting nothing but support and advice from the members of this forum. Thank you guys for everything, and I must say special thanks to @Beowulf. Between Atomic Habits and just talking back and forth, you and the other members helped me find some positivity and ways to get a handle on my situation, and I learned some things that I could immediately apply to my life with great success.

My strategy was to not think, not read other people’s journals or experiences, and blindly follow what more experienced people told me to do. I didn’t even read the descriptions for the subs when I bought them. I tend to overthink things and, quite frankly, I think I didn’t want to take responsibility for having to make a decision either.

I think it was a good strategy, but when @Billions came and suggested LBFH, and I got a clear reaction from it, it started making me think. And when others like @ksub started to chime in with more good advice, I realized I should take some time, read as much as possible here on the forum and in the store, and think about things for myself.

So here are some thoughts.

Ascension

Ascension… when I read the description and reflect on the past month… it doesn’t speak to me at all. The description does fit the situation I outlined in my introduction post, so I totally understand why it was recommended to me. Plus, after reading through the forums it seems like that’s been one of the go-to recommendations for beginners for a long time since before ZP. But unlike the other two subliminals, I can’t say for sure that it ‘did’ anything, and my intuition just goes ‘MEH’. I’m sure it did something and I’m just being ignorant, but I don’t have much to say about it. It’s also only been 1 cycle.

Primal

Based on how my washout went, my reflections on this past month, having read the descriptions and the forum, and going off of my gut, I think Primal had a bigger impact on me than even I realized and I LOVE it. Even reading the description in the store made me feel excited. Recently I’ve felt so much more like my old self and really just been more “myself” at work and in class. I’ve always been aggressive, sexual, and passionate on the inside but have lived most of my adult life constantly pushing it all down or thinking that my thoughts and behavior were wrong and only allowed in very specific circumstances. I’m starting to realize how poorly that’s gone for me. It feels great to open up and share more of my authentic self with people. I even showed the music video for “Slippery” by Migos IN A CLASS when they asked me about music groups that I liked :laughing: It was completely fine. No backlash and no problems.

Sex and sexual energy is my friend and just because I feel really horny doesn’t mean I need to go jack off or do anything about it. I’m realizing that the sexual energy itself IS my energy. I’m starting to think that there isn’t a separate “normal energy” and “sexual energy”, but that they are one in the same. Or maybe I’m just heavily influenced by sexual energy. Whatever the case may be, if it gets too distracting then I should just go to the gym and work it off, or go do something outside. Or change environments if I’m at home (thanks James Clear/Beowulf) and pick a work task to do. (or have sex…)

LBFH

I’ve mentioned it in this journal and my introduction thread already, but LBFH had a crystal clear impact. Zero coincidence with this one – I listened to it, and I got three dreams in the span of ~a week that clearly covered cases of emotional/sexual trauma, frustration, and difficulty involving girls in my life (both past and very recent!). All three dreams had moments that I can still remember now, and those moments all helped me experience some sort of emotional release and closure that I didn’t realize I needed. It’s so hard to put into words, but thinking about the real-life events now is like thinking about what I ate last week. It’s been reduced to just another part of my life, but it’s impossible to feel the burden or emotions that I felt before – even if I consciously try :laughing: It’s like the feeling itself has been erased. It’s unbelievable!

Between Primal and LBFH’s clear impact, I can say without a doubt that this was a great start for me.

And I had a moment last week when I thought that this stack (Ascension/Primal/LBFH) was fantastic and I didn’t want to change a thing. I felt so good.

BUT (wall of text)

But here’s the thing. I’ve received a lot of great but also conflicting advice from you guys. And I’ve had some experiences myself now and seen that there may be something to this subliminal thing after all. So I decided to change subs and make my own decision in an attempt to cover the advice I was given, my own (limited) experience, and the massive amount of posts I ended up going through on the forum.

Basically, it seems there are three main principles:

  1. Pick the right sub for your growth/your goals/the job that needs to be done
  2. Be consistent. Listen long-term
  3. Take action

And in my opinion #1 and #2 directly conflict with each other. #1 is always changing based on personal growth and the way life flows in general. I’m also joining during ZP, whereas up until ZP it seems like the system, the listening times, and the subs themselves were QUITE DIFFERENT. So advice around subs and the methodology seems to depend on when the user actually experienced them (or if it’s a much older post, you have to consider the era in which that post was written).

Unfortunately, both #1 and #2 also make perfect sense. So I decided to keep one subliminal consistent (#2) and make the other two adaptable based on the actions I’m taking (#1, #3) so I don’t feel guilty or have cognitive overload about how or when to switch if I want to. And since I only get to choose 3 subliminals, and since I love Primal and LBFH, this was HARD.

My thinking was this: “My most pressing goals are to make more money and kill my debt. My long term goals are mastering Japanese and having proper sexual and romantic partners again. For the last year+ I’ve been taking action on this marketing project that can essentially build me a new “passive” salary if it goes well. Failing, taking the wrong action, maybe, but undoubtedly taking action. This year I’ve ramped it up even more. I also study Japanese every day. These are the two things that I should definitely support with subliminals. I’m not out taking action to meet girls, but I am out and around different places in my day-to-day, and soon will be back on a college campus filled with maskless, freed coeds. So I do want something on my side for that.”

@ksub recommended Ascended Mogul + RICH because I said the best way to increase my income is to get a better job. But as I was responding to his post, I realized that if I really focused on this project at work and it was a success, that would be even better. And I have some ideas for this project in the pipeline that could themselves serve as projects to show to potential employers anyway. So RICH seemed like the move right away, but I was iffy about a remainder stack of Ascended Mogul and Primal because I would miss the healing from LBFH. Also, my current company is not some place where I can get a promotion or whatever. I’m helping them grow and run a business and try to carve out a niche against many competitors online, not trying to work up the ranks. I noticed on RICH’s page they had different stack archetypes.

The BILLIONAIRE stack: Emperor: The House of Medici, The Ecstasy of Gold, R.I.C.H.
The SEXUAL THRONE stack: Khan, R.I.C.H., Primal Seduction: Iron Throne
The INNOVATOR stack: StarkQ, Mogul, R.I.C.H.
The R.I.C.H. Artist Stack: Ultimate Artist, StarkQ, R.I.C.H.
The CAREER ACCELERATION stack: Ascended Mogul, Power Can Corrupt, R.I.C.H.
OR: You can also use R.I.C.H Ultima as a standalone if your sole focus is wealth – and it will work fantastically.

The career acceleration stack, and the idea of a job just didn’t seem right to me. The sexual stack caught my eye immediately and I looked at Khan. And Khan’s page spoke to me in the same way Primal’s page did. I don’t care much about social dominance but I am a teacher and my work is a type of social setting, and it seemed to come from the same fundamental place as Primal but on a much different level. And it included healing so I could drop LBFH. And if I’m going to do any intense healing, this is the exact time to do it before new classes start and I need to be in front of new people and make a good impression.

I also looked at Emperor and although I nodded my head to most of the bullet points, it just didn’t do it for me. I don’t know what else to say. I’m an INTJ and I read that Emperor fits INTJs perfectly. But something about the Khan page just hit me on a different level. Also, it being a multistage ending in a comprehensive subliminal INCLUDING LIMITLESS (Japanese study, lots of mental work and learning/ideation, potentially programming) was perfect for my long-term usage and overall development. I gave other stacks serious consideration but I couldn’t get Khan + RICH out of my mind.

So the last thing was to decide whether to run Khan + RICH to get more listening time, or add a third to get more coverage. And I was torn on this but ultimately went with the third because it seems like ZP doesn’t need much to work (again, pointing to my experience from just 1 loop of LBFH) and I wanted to support my actions as much as possible. So I went with Beyond Limitless for studying and the mental work needed to grow this business because it was marketed as being a booster (easy to change if I want) and Khan already includes parts of Limitless at stage 4 so it would be a waste to get Limitless. I’m interested to see how BL helps my mind, and when I get to Khan Stage 4 I might be able to drop it, opening up a slot. BTW it took me forever to really grok the difference between the three limitless programs and how to pick them. Even the naming is a bit odd. IMO Limitless should be the basic booster, and Beyond Limitless should be the one that grows your cognitive abilities with Quantum Limitless being the multi-stage. In fact, I think there’s a huge assumption of knowledge and experience regarding the product pages by the subliminal club team that new people like me really don’t have. Thank god for the forums — everything eventually clicked on some level and I was able to make a choice.

So I’m changing my entire stack.

Khan long-term (comprehensive, sexual base)

RICH until I hit my first major goal (money related)

BL until Khan stage 4 and reevaluate.

Ascension Chamber 1x/week (for extra help with manifestation from these subs and my goal)

I understand and fully recognize that I’m being a hypocrite and switching everything after only one cycle.

And I’m still changing it. In fact, I already changed it and ran Khan day 1 yesterday + Ascension Chamber :skull_and_crossbones: But I’m doing it after almost a full week using my own brain, reading, and sleeping on it, and I think this is the way forward for me.

I’ve been posting my journal entries diary style, but from here on I’m going to focus it around ONE major thing at a time, mention any clear reactions to the subliminals in my stack, and share any notes that I write down during the day. Of course I’m still doing the lifestyle stuff in the background, but it’s a chance for me to focus by dropping it from the journal.

The one goal that’s in my mind is making ￥500,000 per month (double my salary) from this project I’m doing at work. This is much bigger than my original goal but it would be a complete game-changer to have this coming in essentially passively if done correctly. The other money goal is to pay off my credit card, but that’s less of a goal and more of a systems-based result. AKA pay it down first thing every payday and stop using it.

Thanks @Trader @Beowulf @Sage_Ninjistic @ksub @Billions @Leandros
I can @mention everyone now!

This month really helped my mental health and I found some drive and great steps to take to move forward. I’m glad I joined this community.

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#47

You see
I told you, you make great progress
It started from day one

Gambare Saint

Your ROCKING over time

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#48

Since you’ve been able to notice how it works incredibly well

Be prepared for it to snowball into even greater things over time!

Also even with all this incredible power you now hold for yourself, if there is some time where you feel low again, it’s okay

Be sure to remind yourself that yes, you’ve lived it
It’s now possible for you at anytime to climb back that mountain of yours and admire from the peak!

No selected speed, it’s just yourself
And each step one after the other
Sometimes it’ll go up, other times you’ll have to go through hazardous caves and tortuous tunnel going down before going up even higher

Cheers man

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#49

I really appreciate the special thanks :grin: . It was really on you for digesting all the info from the book and applying it so quickly, immediately.

Ultimately as you’re a complete beginner, my advice was not so prudent for you. As you have no frame of reference from running any of the titles, as well as taking an approach of not reading any journals, sales copy and the forum in general - taking a long-term approach on something that could have been sub-optimal was ultimately not a great strategy long-term. Feeling out the subs early on is for the best. I apologize since I may have mislead you into trying out something that may not have been the best for you.

I’m going for a year-long (probably multi-year long) strategy but my situation is different as the titles I’m running are what I consider to be foundational and relevant regardless how much my outer circumstances change. Everybody has different circumstances, situations and goals. Most here I’d wager keep one title semi-permanently/permanently in their stack for years and the rest are swapped in and out as needed (as you suggested!). Mine technically is the same as that, just that I plan to run those for a year or two instead of every couple of months. I personally hold the view that we haven’t really tapped into the deepest levels of a sub yet until we run it for at least 6 months, preferably a year or more. I plan to prove myself that is the case, since it’s not really common to see someone on the forum running it for that long from what I’ve seen.

Trusting your gut is for the best. :horse: Khan sounds like a natural choice from your description of your experiences with :lion: Primal. Sticking with that one for the long-term is a good move imo. :dollar: R.I.C.H is also a really good choice, considering your financial situation. It’ll attract the students you need in the short-term.

I’m sure your input on the naming scheme is valuable. The thing is BL existed initially as a booster for Limitless, so my guess was that the naming was based on the idea that running BL made you go Beyond Limitless for a short period of time. You know games like Mario Cart and car games where you could activate the ignition for a quick boost? That’s how I think they named it. I don’t think Quantum Limitless existed back then either, so they couldn’t really plan the naming scheme properly. I doubt the name would change though, it’ll stick around like how the “i” in iPhone and iMac referred to the “internet”.

I’m actually not so sure about this. What I’ve realized from journaling is that writing down stuff that seemingly doesn’t matter becomes relevant when seen in hindsight over a longer time horizon as being due to the result of the subs. Like how the small things you mentioned in your journal entry keyed me in on the fact that :necktie: Ascension was working subtly in the background.

Also what’s considered a “clear” reaction could open up to playing lawyer games, as Saint would say it. Though this is assuming you’re not observant enough to notice it, which from what I’ve seen so far may not be the case. That’s just my perspective of writing down as much one can gives more data to properly evaluate results though, you may prefer a more focused approach and cut out any fat even if it means a little meat comes off.

Glad you joined, love reading your results so far!

(Sidenote, is the 〇〇 intentional or are you typing in Japanese and it’s appearing to me as double zeros? I just thought it’s an interesting way to make a pseudonym of someone if it’s the former.)

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#50

I’m going to take time to read through and respond to everyone tomorrow morning. I don’t mean to ignore your posts.

But I have to write this now quickly: I did AC on the 19th and RICH on the 21st. Today is the 22nd. My boss told me just now that a fairly big company in the shipping industry found us online (my project that I’m doing) and wants us to do a job on Monday for them. It’s not the recurring money that I’m aiming for, but WHAT IN THE FUCK? The last bit of business that came in online was back in October. The changes I’m working on now haven’t even been published, so this is the same system that we’ve been running since that time and it’s been quiet despite all of my work.

Monday is also my off day, so basically:

  1. I do the job and get paid extra $$$
  2. Someone else does the job and I still get paid $$ because it came through my system

… dude

Assuming everything goes through, I will provide proof the best I can for anybody else who might come along and read my posts one day. Because I seriously couldn’t make this shit up if I tried. I really really really couldn’t make any of this up. What in the fuck is going on here? The girl manifestation was one thing, but this is SPOOKY.

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#51

:smirk:
Heyyy

You doin’ fine relax
It’s what you deserved, you’re just not used to it

But rest reassured, having what you need definitely won’t make you more unhappy than you where in your first few post, so might as well enjoy

And it’s still not magic, it’s stuff happening everyday all the time, we’re far more atu’ Ed to the unconscious and it’s signal than you’ll ever be aware of

It’s one step above instinct, since it doesn’t require your awerness

Blah blah blah, I’m talking too much
Just relax, you deserved it, you worked, you earn, that’s how it should’ve been, and that’s how it works for privileged people or healthy minded individuals I swear lmao

Observe wisely what I said above and use memory recollection, you’ll see for yourself if it isn’t right(it’ll be right tho ahah)

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#52

You did say that, and you were right. Idk what, but something clearly happened. I just realized on reflection that even though my situation didn’t change much my mentality noticeably improved.
Thank you for your kind words.

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#53

Melior, thanks for your messages. You’re damn right. I’m going to make sure I get what I need from the work I’m doing here, or switch gears and find something else. I’ve been discounting myself and the work, but there’s nobody at this place who can even come close to doing all that I’ve done so far. I think the idea is right, but unfortunately ideas only get you so far. I’m working hard to make this thing successful, so I hope I can get some good results from my strategy.

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#54

Ahhhhhh! That’s a great way to look at it too… makes a lot of sense. So how did you choose your stack? Based on your experiences over time you narrowed it down??

Ah it was a booster to be run with Limitless? I see :eyes:

You’re absolutely right, thank you so much for pointing this out. I wanted to help focus my mind on the goal, but that doesn’t mean I need to be looking out for influences from the subs. In the moment I thought any sudden or unusual money things I’ll attribute to RICH, anything unusual or “luck” with girls attribute to Khan, if I see the time drop on my reviews attribute that to limitless. But that’s because I’ve read everything about the subs, so it feels more natural to pay attention to those things now. OK OK, I’ll still probably cut some of the BS, but I’ll just keep it holistic and report on the day.

Ah, yeah something I picked up here. They use 〇〇 a lot for generics (ex. ‘ABC Company’) or masking names/private data and stuff.

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#55

@RVconsultant

Could you help me change the name of this thread?

New thread name: saint’s journal

Or if it’s against forum rules then can you close this thread so I can start a new one for this new stack?

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#56

no perfectly fine :slightly_smiling_face:

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#57

Yeah, it was based on experience, narrowing down what is truly foundational for me and sticking to what gives the best knock-off effects. I of course had to experiment early on to see what was truly necessary for me but I’m committed now. For example, beginning of this year I thought the plan would be to focus on wealth subs since I needed to get more money (:bank: EOG ST1 and :dollar: R.I.C.H) but then it “pointed” me towards the real issue, which was that I needed to become more solid, grounded, confident, driven, social and persuasive. No point in manifesting opportunities if I can’t take advantage of them.

This is from the ancient archives of 2018 :joy:

頑張って Saint!

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#58

This is only the start.

This gets better and stronger

Gambare Saint

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#59

Hey dude, I’m new on the path as well, just saw your intro thread when I went to make my own. I used to live in Japan and at my best was around a JLPT N3 or “N2.5” :laughing: Pretty rusty these days but can certainly get by without using English when I visit periodically. I was there as a university student, would go into Tokyo on weekends from time to time and lived on a mountainside in a mid-sized(?) town near Mt. Fuji (no Hachioji but my town had 2 train stops on the JR lol)

Anyway, just want to wish you well and say I appreciate what Japan life can be like as a foreigner. Can feel a little isolating, always standing out, even if you had perfect keigo and cultural behavior you’d always be treated politely but regarded as an outsider by most, though also a really beautiful countryside and neat cultural vibe–to me at least. I’m with you on the English teaching…I can do it, but it was never something I aspired to do as my main thing.

There are surely ways to use that 外人 aura to at least connect initially with ladies who have an inclination to try a different flavor! Hopefully you’ll be able to make things work, I glanced through your thread so far and it seems like you’re definitely making progress! Just sending some positive vibes!

石の上にも三年
(上手くではないけど通じるくらいの日本語ができますｗ) :v:

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#60

Dude! Much appreciated, and I hope you had a blast! I wish I came here during university, my life would be completely different right now… for better or worse I’m not sure though haha. I’m sorry you didn’t get to straight up live in Tokyo during the time, but yeah I hope you had some great experiences.

If you ever have a chance, tell me some more about your time there and what you’re up to now! Seems like you still have Japanese in you – that’s a great proverb you sent me and I want to believe it will be true for me too – are you studying or using it at all right now?

I want to start spending time in other people’s journals, too, so if you have a thread going I will check it out too, soon.

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#61

OK, I see. Sounds similar to what Billions mentioned before, too when he mentioned running Chosen. I guess there’s not much to do but make the best decision possible in the moment and build up the experience over time that will help narrow things down or reveal certain patterns or limitations. Like I said above, I’m going to start checking out other active journals too, so I will get to read a bunch about your process and take a shedload of notes.

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#62

I haven’t journaled well at all this cycle. I wasn’t feeling well all of last week, and this week I’ve just been kind of… off. There’s a lot going on with my project at work, too.

The big job on Monday that came through last week ended up being interpretation for a part of a process for a ship sale. And it wasn’t a shipping company like I originally thought, but a diving company hired by a shipping company. Big business deal! I haven’t done interpretation before, and my Japanese frankly isn’t good enough to handle all of the nautical and ship terms (I don’t know much in English either to be fair). So I got insanely nervous when I found out the details, and I think that exacerbated my already bad condition. But luckily by Sunday I felt back to normal, and Monday morning I was a bit tense but surprisingly calm.

The job itself took place in a cramped van outfitted with a TV and recording device, and I had to interpret as a diver was swimming around the ship and broadcasting its condition. The buyers were these huge, intense Greek guys and I was proud of myself for staying calm, projecting confidence, and mot importantly nailing most of the interpretation which ended up being quite straightforward.

As for payment, I said I would share as much as possible. I couldn’t get a picture, but please believe me. I literally walked into the money transfer between my boss and the diving company by accident, so I saw the total payment was ￥45,000 for 3 hours — the job itself ended up taking 2 hours. Of that money, my boss told me I would make ￥18,000 for the job and the marketing. So my order of RICH, BL, and Khan paid for itself, essentially. I promised @Beowulf I wouldn’t think so much about the subliminals, but I MUST attribute this to RICH. There’s no other possible answer. It wasn’t luck, and it wasn’t a coincidence that the job came when it did. I have nothing else to say about that.

Reflections:

I’m responsible for getting this job because they found us online (my project), I took all the pressure and responsibility of the job and fulfilled it, but I made less than half of the money made. I’m leveraging my company’s reputation and Japanese staff (high trust for other Japanese people looking to do business), so I’m not saying I could get this type of job by myself, but it does highlight the benefits of being a business owner. Leveraging other people’s time is fantastic when you’re on the right end of it and money is flowing. I was on the “wrong” end of it, but I’ll still take that money for two hours worth of work, an interesting experience, and the huge confidence boost that I got.

——

In other news, last week we got three students to participate in a… sort of campaign deal that I started. I’ll get paid ￥2100 out of the ￥10500 we earned off of it. The money that I got is of course low, but if I use pre-made material it doesn’t really cost me much extra effort. And once the other teacher gets involved, I should make money without doing much of anything at all. And this idea has been validated quite quickly, so I’m sure we will continue to run and improve it in the future.

Two new students also came through. One student I’ve been working on recruiting personally and expect to get an extra ~￥6,000 per month from, which will be great, and one student that I may or may not get paid for due to the gray area involved with how they joined. Basically they ran a newspaper article about one of my current student’s success, someone’s father saw the article THEN checked us up online (and we have a great presence and decent site now thanks to me) before calling for his child. So technically it wasn’t a purely online lead, but I’m a bit annoyed because I know my work still provided value in getting the sale, and of course this person is joining my class because that’s what the article was about. The ideal for me as a teacher is that every new student and work that is put on my plate directly results in more pay. I’ve tried to cover as many bases as possible, but there are still some points where I can get more work without getting any more pay. It IS my job, but still :shrug: I’m a bit disappointed.

——

So some money is starting to come in, but only some of it recurring and all of it involving MY TIME. When I get official word on this latest student, I will update my tracker, but there’s a few things that I’m worried about.

Despite getting a clear contract agreement on my role and the work I’m doing, it seems like there’s still some confusion on my boss’s end about how I should be getting paid. I know it’s not out of ill-intent, but it’s frustrating me because I’ve been working my ass off for these exact moments that are starting to happen, and just as happy as they are to take all my hard work and good ideas, they need to be happy as fuck to pay me when these deals start to happen. It seems like my boss is conflating the idea of me being a teacher with this other role and thought they wouldn’t have to pay me as much if another teacher was doing the work. Which is ludicrous! The whole point, which I made very clear in the beginning when we outlined the contract, was that I get a cut of ALL business and money that comes through my work related to marketing and sales. My job is to get more eyeballs on us and GET the business. Who does the job is not my concern. I trust that they haven’t been screwing me out of other jobs that have come through, and that’s only because I’ve asked them clearly every month for status updates and nothing’s been coming in. I just think now that we’re starting to see some action it’s becoming real for them too and with that comes a change in perspective/attitude. So it concerns me and we have plans to go over everything again quite clearly tomorrow. Because if this isn’t going to work then I’m nuking the whole thing, pulling the site and everything else down, and they can fucking deal with it themselves. I’ll find much better ways to spend my time like finding a new job and getting the fuck up out of here.

And based on how this conversation goes, I’m still going to start my transition out. If the conversation goes well, I’ll probably extend my teaching contract for about half a year (through yet another winter season, unfortunately) and spend time skilling up and finding a really good job, as well as continue building these systems and training for the new hire so they can continue smoothly and make $$ for me. If the conversation goes poorly, I’ll focus on getting a job before my contract is up this year. That would give me about five months, and I’m not sure if that’s enough time to get interview-ready and actually find a job after such a long time away from the industry. But I don’t see myself committing another full year here in either case. I’m ready to be done with teaching and get out of this (relatively speaking!) garbage-tier life.

——

I figured out a decent way to study without “needing” my laptop at home, so I’m banning the computer and also banning internet usage on my phone from my home again. My mind and my life goes much better without it at home. I can’t believe how much environment matters for me. I never realized. And using the computer at the library and coffee shops puts me around people which I desperately need. I particularly need more chances to meet girls in real life. I’m at my breaking point now.

This morning I got up at 5, got the surprising urge to meditate 30 minutes, did a full workout, got dressed and worked at starbucks and later at a co-working space. I haven’t had such a great morning in a while. I want more of that. That’s the type of stuff I need in my life to get out of this situation. Thankfully the weather will get warmer from here on out and it will become easier to wake up in the morning as the months pass.

At starbucks, a group of four high schoolers were checking me out HARD. One of them in particular was really trying to get my attention and did everything short of calling out to me. But they’re fucking high schoolers -_-…. I need the fuckable girls to give me that love. Not even nearly that much. Dude, just make eye contact with me and/or smile and I’ll do the rest. Old people, bros of all ages, and barely ILLEGALs or girls in situations where it’s impossible to flirt or seriously make a move have no problem staring at me like an alien, making the occasional comment or compliment, or otherwise paying me some sort of (typically unwanted) attention. But I don’t find myself around actual, sexually available girls in their 20s very often, and when I do, it’s absolutely NOTHING. ZERO ATTENTION. NOT ONE GLANCE. It’s so depressing. And I’m starting to get really angry about it. I have many problems in my life, and y’all know my story — I’m not mr. playboy but I can do a little something. At the very least get interest and get dates. But I’ve never had this type of problem before coming to this city. I feel like a sexually invisible piece of shit.

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#63

Don’t worry, just notice the results, write them down, attribute them to the sub and then keep moving :+1:

Also you’re getting really great results so far, so not much to add other than I’m impressed :grin: . You can find my journal here, though I must warn it’s far less interesting and not as impressive as yours :joy: . It’d be better if you see journals of people who are really experienced and love using Khan, like @Invictus, @Skadoosh and @Tobyone .

Here are some interesting posts/journals on Khan.

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#64

Thanks for the links, and thanks for sharing your journal. I’m diving in right now. I saw the first two Khan links when researching, but I didn’t see the last one and it sounds rough! Gonna read it after this.

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