Khan ST1 ZP Is Hell - Rant - Cry for Help

Questions and Comments
#1

It’s been a while since I used the forms as a soapbox for my recon rants.

Total Breakdown is horrific.

Jesus.

1 loop and the recon has begun with a vengeance. Maybe it’s not recon, perhaps the program running as intended. I don’t know.

Here’s what I know, I’ve felt strong negative emotions like this before…but after all my months on Emp and Wanted (6 on Emp (non-consecutive), 6 on Wanted) I’m not used to feeling these strong negative emotions anymore. Generally, I’m happy and confident. Tonight, I feel like I’m sinking into the abyss. No, I feel like I’m being burned at the stake.

I tried to journal about it, but I’m having trouble wrapping my head around it.

Does anybody out there with Khan ZP experience want to help a guy in need? Tell me your story, I want to know what happened to you. Did you finish the program? What were the results? Did TB heal you, or did it just torment you? I scoffed at the sales page when it said that Khan wasn’t for the faint of heart, now I feel like a fool.

As always, the bright side is that Khan is working. I know it’s working because it was such a strong and intense negative downturn in emotions that it’s impossible for it to be anything but Khan. For the sake of my sanity, I will say that in the last two days I:

I didn’t drink last night and I ate a healthy dinner, made up with a friend, and hung out with a girl.
I got laid this morning and kissed the girl goodbye (great morning).
I did my homework before class and performed pretty well.
I deepened my relationships with a couple of people.

In short, I’ve done positive things and my mind still imploded, so this is Khan. I’ve done nothing to warrant this psychotic emotional outpouring. I feel like I need to say this for the sake of my own sanity because I’m still very much going through it. I’m clinging to my memories to try to remind myself that this is all part of the process and I’ve done nothing wrong.

I want to cry and scream. That’s all.

9 Likes
Saint’s journal
#2

This is all it seems to be like, I can say my journey on Khan is not an easy one, sadness, emotional outbreak, brain fog.
St2 is even worst!!

I would advise you to add Love Bomb for humanity or Chosen by nature to reduce the intense recon.

3 Likes
#3

Total Breakdown has different effects on us depending on the level of healing required to reach Khan objectives.

The more trauma need to be released, the more you will feel.

It isn’t necessary to journal everything. You could just write that you had recon. Share what you want to.

I remember the first time I ran TB, I had this heaviness in my heart area, deep sadness, sudden bursts of anger and some crying sessions in the night.

That was 3 years ago. Am running Khan ST1 again right now and the recon is almost non-existent. I think I released most of what needed to be broken down.

That’s excellent results. All the pain will be worth it. It is only for 2 or 3 months after which the rest of your life is smooth sailing.

What is the better choice? To suffer all your life or trade a short time period of a couple of months for life-long pleasure? Am sure you know the answer.

Some tips to reduce recon are:

  • Do 3 mins of a loop until the recon reduces. Then 5 mins. Then 7. Then 15.

  • Increase the number of rest days. Try 2 rest days instead of 1. Try 3 rest days if that feels better. The processing part is important and that largely happens during rest time. Eventually you will get used to the script and you can listen according to standard listening instructions.

  • I find that exercise helps reduce recon. Even 10 minutes a day of it makes a whole lot of difference.

  • I drink close to a gallon of water everyday. Am sure that helps.

  • Take comfort in the fact that your results will be better. You will become a masculine and dominant man who takes charge of his life. They might love you or hate you but they cannot help but respect you.

    Embrace the pain like you do when you exercise. It will all be worth it in the end.

14 Likes
#4

Stay strong, friend.

For my ZP journey, I was ok on stage 1, and then there was some slight turmoil on 2 but it passed quickly. Skipped a cycle for 3 and went to four.

On four, I have felt something similar to what you described, so I stopped, went back to Emperor ZP, and then LBFH.

Both also gave me some intense recon; So much so that even though I’m tempted to run LBFH right now, I would wait until I feel I’m completely settled in with my stack.

At the time when I first ran ST4 ZP, I was going through some very rough ordeal in my life, and at the same time I felt detached from the people closest to me, I also felt as if I was betrayed and the world was against me.

I was angry, and even I couldn’t BS myself into feeling better. I was very upset at myself, and I was losing sleep, and when I awake, some of the harshest self-talk greets me in the morning. It was bad.

It was a perfect storm. Big title in my head, big problems in my life.

Some of those around me probably didn’t see me in the best of light, and it wouldn’t have affected me as much as it did if I was strong internally, but I wasn’t at the time so the feeling was amplified.

No direct advice from me, just my own story to tell and to share my experience.

What I did was I took a break from ST4, went back to Emperor for around 2 cycles, and then took a few a few more rest days.

I constantly re-read both my private and public journals to find clues, insights, sort of crumbs I subconsciously left myself to find my way home just in case I ventured too far.

I went back and ran my ST4 custom and stacked it with my most feel good inducing and grounding sub which is Chosen.

So far this last run was alright, I feel some overload, it’s probably QL ST4, I feel I could better convey what I’m trying to say, but somehow the brain fog is preventing me from doing so. I hope this is at least helpful.

When I switched titles, I felt bad anyway, so much so that against my usual overthinking, I made a custom in haste.

What probably helped me gain my equilibrium the most is more rest days and Chosen in my stack.

5 Likes
#5

Very interesting post. Also regarding Chosen. I thought that LBFH has also a lot of positivity like Chosen will do. But seems to you that only positivity from Chosen is working.
Maybe CWON would have worked too, but you have probably never tried.

3 Likes
#6

I tried CWON as well, but not enough for me to share a very useful experience about it.

The time I ran it, I’ve had some positive news out of the blue, and I interpret that as a sort of good Feng Shui for my mind. What was stuck, flowed.

That said, I’m more drawn to the “city” kind of lifestyle and I’m not around nature as much for me to feel it’s the most optimal Chosen title I could run at the moment.

Chosen was the first ZP title that wowed me, I felt very productive, assertive with more finesse, positive and even my social skills was pretty good on it, and in tandem with Khan I saw glimpses of the kind of man I’d like to be.

There’s too many great reviews of LBFH for me not to take notice and try again, but I’m taking things one step at a time right now until I feel I can venture out.

Last time I ran it, I had some intense recon.

One of the reasons why I want two customs in my stack is to squeeze in LBFH once I’m settled in.

That more than 80 percent of LBFH that Saint mentioned about truly loving the self is compelling.

True self love, self belief, self respect and self esteem will always be compelling for me to run a title.

3 Likes
#7

Now that I’m clear headed–actually woke up feeling amazing–I can see that you’re right. 2-3 cycles of pain, for the rest of my life. It’s well worth it.

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#8

Thanks for sharing man. It helps to hear another person who’s been through the fire. I’ve often looked at Chosen but it doesn’t appeal to me very much. I tend to be drawn to the slightly darker titles. Not so much because I’m a dark person, quite the opposite, I feel like part of my path is reconciliation of the darkness within me. Probably because I’m a recovered “nice guy” and I’m learning to embrace the darkness. Call me a Grey jedi lol.

4 Likes
#9

My experience on Khan Stage 1(currently running, have been since the end of August) has been downright perplexing.

I prepared myself for the most intense recon of my life, ready to be broken down completely in every aspect of my life.

Instead it’s been genuinely one of the most pleasant subs I’ve ever ran. I have never had a sub that made me feel more relaxed, and it feels like it combines the best aspects of Stark, Wanted and AM.

I have had no recon that I could directly attribute to Khan, to the point where it has made me requestion how I perceive myself.

Now with that said, stage 2 scares the hell out of me lol

6 Likes
#10

@praisetheurdtree Unfortunately if possible it might be better to reduce the minutes per loop to 3 or 5 and more days off between loops as well. Seems like the way to go at this point per folks such as
@SaintSovereign
@Malkuth
@ksub
And others

I have had to drop down to three minute loops myself for a cycle or two at least because of insane recon

3 Likes
#11

Oh lord, say more.

#12

Yes brother, the darkness welcomes you. Do not listen to those who betrayed our side such as @Houdini, who speak of “light” … they will only lead you astray. :grin:

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#13

@Luther24 you are making your way to an extra special place on my dark side :wink:

1 Like
#14

“Go now, Child of Sithis. Walk in the shadow of fear, and bring glory to our Dread Father.”
―Lucien Lachance
:alien:

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#15

If that happens again, here are some options:

1 Sanguine

2 Elixir

3 stop listening to subliminals for a week

4 listen to 3 minute loops

5 listen once a week

6 reduce the volume on the trickling stream such that you can barely hear it

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#16

@RVconsultant Has really good advice here.

I just want to point out that the whole “trial by fire” thing isn’t the only way to grow. Sometimes it’s not even a good way depending on the person. You want healthy challenges to overcome that make you stronger, not crippling walls of emotional turbulence.

3 Likes