With nothing done, no thing is undone.
So, with this washout, the recon has come and seemingly gone. I’ll go more into it when I’m home but it’s been primarily surrounding the one ‘that got away’ recently. I’m seeing her car type everywhere again, which had subsided. Along with that is, of course, Spotify providing a perfect sorrowful line of music that matched what I was feeling and thinking.
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Haha. I took a ride a few hours ago and just got back. I just recently got an Insta360 camera so today was my first real day trying it.
Each time something fun happened, it wasn’t recording.
But anyways, I was scouting around for a spontaneous place to eat. I’ve been going out to eat alone lately to train myself to do things alone more.
I ended up just going all over Vegas, ended up in Henderson on accident, almost got lost but the Stratosphere is pretty damn hard to miss from anywhere around Vegas, especially at night.
I was finally back on the road that leads to where I live, but it’s a looooooong stretch with many traffic lights. I was in an unfamiliar area so I was just taking in the scenery.
I had pulled up to a red light in a cool little area 25 minutes up the road from my turn and I was just nodding to my music when suddenly, my head sort of turned almost of its own accord to the left.
I made eye contact with and startled a pretty chick that was leaning over into her passenger seat, looking at my bike and me. She grinned sheepishly and started to sit back.
I flipped my helmet visor up and half-yelled, “You’re hella cute!”
I didn’t think she understood me because she turned down her music - which I couldn’t hear because of my own earbuds and my loud ass exhaust - and smiled with hella teeth and said, “huh?”
I repeated myself and again, I thought she didn’t understand me because she laughed and said something and the end sounded something like, “…I was just looking at your bike!”
I mentally shrugged and said, “oh okay, 'preciate it” and was returning to my forward gaze when she waved and said she has a bike too. She says a Yamaha something but, I didn’t catch it. She said it was at home.
She asked what kind of bike I have. The light turned green but I waited long enough to tell her and she said she loves it. I nodded sagely, grinned and took off on her.
From there, she and I had a fun little time zooming down Sahara, me generally taking off first but she actually got me on a couple of lights. We didn’t talk again for at least 15 minutes and I only once gave her a fixed stare as I ripped past her, to be rewarded with a shy but excited smile.
I decided within the first 3 minutes that I’ll be damned if I don’t get this woman’s number.
So naturally, the way cars were stacked up from there forward, we were staggered 
I was sitting there scheming how to get next to her again without being a douche to people and splitting lanes. I’m extraordinarily good at reading traffic patterns and can usually see what’s going to occur a bit before it does if I’m focusing/not focusing.
I was at a complete loss, though.
We kept going about…5-10 miles past the strip (I passed my place ages ago; I was determined) and just as I was debating signaling to her to pull over next time she caught up to me, I saw the light ahead turn yellow. The stagger pattern was not in my favor here, either.
Suddenly, I see her headlights coming up on my left and I noticed she was slowing down a bit early. A bit meaning, there was a healthy 4 car lengths between her and the cars at the light, but she stopped right next to me,. I’m pretty sure she blocked people tryna turn left 
not sure.
She leans over and yells, “Hey, are you single?!”
I laughed and said I’m glad you asked, yeah, I am. She asked if I have Snapchat and I said nah, but you can text me. She nodded and got her phone, and I yelled my digits to her.
The light turned green up ahead, and she started asking about my area code. She asked if I’m from the I.E but I was releasing my clutch and my Ninja only gets louder from there so I just grinned, tapped my ear, shrugged and took off.
We kept going for a minute or two as it was all green lights, but at the first red that I remembered to check, I pulled my phone out and checked. I knew immediately she had misheard a number.
I turned around on my bike and I looked at her bright ass BMW headlights right behind my tail, wiggled my phone at her windshield and shook my finger. I couldn’t see shit but I figured she would understand.
Sure enough, she pulled up next to me in the same exact fashion as the last time at the next light. She told me to say the numbers again and I did. She had misheard the second to last number haha.
Fun story.
I didn’t get food, though.
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Oh. She confirmed through text that she definitely heard me say she was cute, lol
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I think you should get accustom to all this as a new normal.
I find women consistently make mistakes around me since ZP has been around. They do things like ring up my order wrong, they forget to ring things up, they give me back more change than they should, they put other people’s things in my shopping bag, they seem to forget how to work a register, they get my order wrong, they give me someone else’s order, they don’t correctly hear what I say, etc.
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7 min Lustrocity, 3 min Inner Circle, full AsC.
My third title will be Lineage, and I am choosing to run it on its own day (Wednesday).
My intentions with the stack shift are pretty simple.
I’m continuing the momentum of my Lustrocity series. The cores being what they are, particularly Heartsong but even PS, it got me thinking:
As I haven’t received an answer, I intend to find out myself. Heartsong already attracts partners in alignment with where you are and will be going. I’ve seen this with a couple of the women I’ve met since I first received Lustrocity.
Primal Seduction also has its own manifestation side.
I’m seeing a pattern in the women I attract. Intense attraction at first sight, and then the moment my mind/eye begins to stray to ‘what else is there for me’, I stop hearing from them
I also have noticed recently that when I drop women and move on, another one comes out of nowhere to ‘take her place’, so to speak.
Now. I realized today that I’m a bit torn between monogamy and not so monogamous. On one hand, I am a lover and I have had the fortune to meet women that have convinced me that every other woman could go bye bye and I wouldn’t really care. I also have a (limiting) belief that that is rare and once you lose it, whoopsie daisy but better luck never again.
I’m working on that one. It has FOMO-esque attachment/feelings and I value my freedom over just about everything.
On the other hand, though, there’s a part of me that senses I’m just not willing to be with 90% of women in the world in a long term sense. But there’s a decent percentage within that percentage that I could easily be intimate with, with little attachments.
I realized this morning that though I’ve defined what I want, i haven’t been as firm and resolute in sticking to it.
For example.
Let’s say I started the day waking up, yawning. Hopped out of bed ready for the work day at early o’clock in the morning, full of gusto and cheer. I decide, “You know what? Maaaaaaan, **** these women bro I’m good by myself.”
Nod several times, jump into the shower, get onto my bike, get my coffee with the speedy thrills and get to work in a fantastic mood. We head out, all is well.
And then I meet a random chick. She catches my eye and I can see I’ve caught hers. We talk, we vibe. She’s the shit, we’re the shit, and nothing could be smoover.
I get her number, we split, I’m still feeling like the business. But!
Then I realize that I’m debating in the back of my head.
To sacrifice, or not to sacrifice?
To be monogamous or not? To trust commitment again, or not? To let go of the team and focus on a partner or not?
I am certainly the first to see the blockages to manifestation alone in this form of thinking. And so…
I have considering to do.
I don’t necessarily want to get into a long term relationship right now. But, I also enjoy having more than just, “Hey come through… Did you cum too? Aight, I bid adeiu.”
I haven’t found my balance yet. I have been noticing that when my mind is stuck between two seeming opposite choices and neither makes sense for me, that means I’m
-
Too attached to both options and failing to see the multitude that must be just out of conscious perception.
-
Stuck in either fear, anger, doubt or discouragement
Or
- 1 and 2
More later.
The difference between ‘coincidence’ and ‘synchronicity’ is in one’s attention to and acknowledgement of the moment.
9/8/22
Played Lustrocity and IC. 3 and 5 minutes, respectively
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9/10/22
So I’ve not played my titles in my normal program this week. I came to the conclusion that I’m going to focus my stack on the Lustrocity series.
Lustrocity I: Primal Seduction/Heartsong
Lustrocity II: Wanted/True Sell
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I made an exception on my no play on the weekend rule.
L-II: 3 minutes.
Likely, my stack will consist of Lustrocity I and II as well as Inner Circle. This will only be for a time.
Lineage will still become a part of my stack soon. It’ll likely replace IC.
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Start where you are. Do what you can with what you have.
-unknown
Important words for me to have seen yesterday. I fall prey to the mentality of trying to do everything at once. Rather than going A to B, B to C, I scheme in the back of my mind of how to jump from D to Z.
Admirable, but admittedly… Foolish.
Start where you are.
That doesn’t mean, look at where I am and allow panic to build. That doesn’t mean to look at the past (memories) and immediately allow self defeating thoughts and images to color my Victory, in whatever I desire.
It means focus now on Now, and go from there.
Do what you can with what you have.
Does that mean that if I want to get from the bottom floor of the building to the top that I should look at the building itself and exclaim, “But how?”
Negative.
It takes discernment. Panic/anxiety/rush consciousness will never lead to discernment which is a tool in every wise man’s toolkit.
Discernment does not take the past or projected future into account and leave it at that. Because in discerning, we are now. And from now, anything can happen. Every spider web has a center and generally it comes to a single point. Whether origin or destination, who is to say?
Not me.
But every tendril of possiblity going from that point of origin is trackable. We can see where it goes by ‘feeling’ it out. Even as a spider knows exactly what is on the web, if it has life or is dead.
I’ve never seen a spider attack a dead bug dropped on its web.
Similarly, I will not waste my time pursuing death in my life.
The way that seems right onto man, according to a certain Christ.
"Confidence without clarity…"
-Sadhguru
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09/12/22
Slight stack change. Rather than IC, I’m utilizing HS. The reasoning being; over the weekend and really, over the past week, I’m coming more and more into the realization that I’m coming to an end of a phase in my life. I don’t want to ‘play’ right now.
I’ve said over and over that I can’t see myself in a relationship with the majority of women that I see in the world. I also realize that I’m the creator of my experience so, let’s bring more of what is desired.
I would use a Heartsong custom of mine. However, I recently read that Saint advises that the module, ‘Soul Connection’, be used when one already is in a relationship. I built all of my HS customs with this module with the exception being the first ‘Lustrocity’; Primal Seduction isn’t necessary any longer right now so that custom is not what I want to use.
So, for now, I’ll be using the main store Heartsong. I got the updated version this morning as I was not sure if I had already updated it.
Lustrocity II - 5 minutes (Wanted/True Sell)
Heartsong ZP - 3 minutes
Ascension Chamber - 7 minutes
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I’m actually strangely grateful that I’ve accepted the realizations that led to me accepting this new mentality of: yeah, I’m not one for monogamy. But. I love monogamy.
I don’t want a monogamous relationship with a woman based off of my current view of monogamy. I don’t want to be with just any woman.
Part of the reason I got caught up in feelings for the one girl from Utah is because of the depth of what I felt between us. Not having that showed me how important that was to me.
So, I recognize that I desire that ‘Soul Connection’.
Likewise, I fluctuate between wanting this woman, that woman, their best friend and everything in between and not wanting a single solitary thing to do with those same women. Neither of these extremes are reliable and I will no longer live my life or plan my life around this. I’m more than both of these mentalities.
Women are more than their body. So am I. It’s time to accept that consciously as much as I feel it in my interactions with people.
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Running Lineage. Probably 3 or 5 minutes.
Edit: 3:06
My kid’s mom will be induced tonight at 10 pm. My kid (his name will be Kairo, I don’t mind sharing that) will be in the greater world soon.
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Congratulations, Dad!
Wishing you joy beyond joy.
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Thanks, brother man!
Baby boy was born. He’s in the NICU. They had to take mom for an emergency C-section, which was done in like 2 minutes.
Be back in a few tears.
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Congratulations, Bro!
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Oh.
09/16 - Friday
I played Lustrocity II and HS Major, I think it was 7 minutes each.
@Sage_Ninjistic why do you like this Lustrocity II Custom so much?
As per your own words –
Have you ever thought of doing Heartsong and Wanted in a Custom?