Reading Master Keys to Spiritual Freedom while listening to this and other music by Florian Bur while en route.
@AlexanderGraves on another thread triggered a realization in me.
I realized that there is work to be done. I realized that I have work to do. And I also realize that I haven’t been working towards my ultimate objectives with all that I have with what i have available.
My mentor used to ask me in his annoyingly loving way, “What are you working towards? What do you want? And are you doing everything that you can to make it happen?”
I never was able to say yes.
To give myself some credit, I did and still do quite a lot on an inner level every day. Some days I see and feel progress. Others, it feels like I’ve barely moved. But it’s all worthy.
Regardless. I’m not doing enough.
I never ignore when someone reflects what I have been feeling building in my own consciousness because no matter the medium (or, forum), it’s valid.
So, thank you for the inadvertent catalytic trigger, my friend. I bookmarked your post the other day about the YouTube channels you recommended and followed their channel so I can check them out over the weekend.
Now.
I’m fairly certain that Stark in conjunction with the rest of my current stack as well as previous, recent stacks, has been leading me to Be. Be more. Be my best. I care nothing for being THE best anymore, for what is that? Who is that? The best in comparison to…?
What one man can do, any man can do. There’s no ultimate level here on Earth. I mean… There is but isn’t? Basically, when I’ve reached THE ultimate level, namely, oneness with All, then I’ll say, “Yea. That’s the stuff.”
But I lived a decent amount of my twenties trying to surpass others. I once had a goal to be the wisest man on Earth. I wanted to surpass Solomon. What metric exists for this?
Then, I wanted to surpass Jesus.
Bro. How?!
And so on.
I came to a realization in recent times that I have projected ultimate levels onto others and somewhat deified otherwise normal individuals. Disobeying the Second Commandment.
Oh yeah, Moses was a target too. I wanted to be the greatest prophet
I see the patterns and I’m more than willing to change.
I do a lot of self examination and the thing I keep coming to is a fear of taking a step forward in which there is no turning back. A somewhat silly analogy but…
It’s like when a man is having sex. It’s all fun and games until he reaches that ‘point of no return’ and couldn’t stop if he wanted to.
I’m both excited to reach that point and terrified.
In this, the fear extends to each aspect of my life, so the feeling is a bit encompassing. But this post so far is in relation to my Christhood goals. Useful.
I’ve experienced in my short life rejection, derision, scorn, and all sorts of manifestations from others that time and time again, I’ve risen above and continued on the path I’ve set for myself, only to be brought back down by certain people.
My mentor years ago once had me consider what these manifestations mean. What individuals in history receive(d) this treatment? Is it not a ‘crucifixion’ of sorts?
Fear, doubt, worry. All things that are blocking my direct experience of my Higher Self and ultimately, my connection with the Creator. Why?
Anyways. I needed to get this out and get over the fear of what people may think seeing “Christhood”. I could give a f*** and unfortunately, my mortal identity still somewhat does.
Eh.
I have a fire within me that I’ve witnessed many times. It has been blown on, stamped on, and many have attempted to snuff it. I’ve been brought down several times in my life regarding my pursuit of who I am and I realized a few months ago that I accepted this and allowed dualistic individuals to project their limited sense of identity onto me.
Never again.
I’ve learned from my Soaring (as I call it) in the past and I’ve learned where I can change. That’s the important part. But no thing on Earth will come become me and Me again.
