Alright, I am looking into TiKTok now. Problem is that those places are also saturated, but one can probably find a unique angle or something. Brainstorming some ideas now.
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Day 8
A bit tired today, need to drink more water and most likely a side effect of streaming too hard yesterday, and for long, and also experimenting with subs. 
expected.
Today I streamed as well, around 5 hours, and I had 11 views and 9 unique ones. So same amount of unique viewers and yesterdays views. Amazing. Which shows, that hours streamed is not all to increase this. It’s the exposure (placement in the directory, how many other people are streaming) and perhaps a good title. Maybe it’s better for me to work on streaming 4 hours and keeping the quality and energy high than 8 hours straight. Stream more smartly perhaps, researching the directories of games I find interesting and am willing to play because I don’t remember exactly now but it feels like I was high up on the swedish directory today. Anyway, just some thoughts.
1 week done, 2 weeks more to go with the stack StarkQ ZP, Gaming Mastery X ZP and Chosen From Within ZP. I am loving these so far, it’s hard to know which one to “switch out” if I want to experiment with a new addition in 2 weeks. I am improving in both gaming and streaming, as well as feeling quite good to be honest, not like a god, but above baseline. Enjoying life and having positive outlook.
Today was off day, but I did some experiment mode as well, so wasn’t completely off. Mr BadBoy or StupidBoy? Time will tell.
Anyway the energy, the positivity and chatter of todays stream, as well as the playfulness was pretty nice. I love it, and this is why I do this. Being spontaneous. Playing around. Playing to win, taking risks, doing stupid mistakes, laughing about said mistakes.
I did also do some vocal exercises and about to meditate before I make some burgers and chill to a movie with my girlfriend, resting up for the new week.
Peace!
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What games are you streaming?
I am streaming Tarkov mainly now. What games do you play/stream/watch?
Day 9
Today was a shaky day, I think I need to stop experimenting and respect the subs power.
Is this recon? Perhaps…
Playing 3 ZP titles on the same day might have bee too cocky, and then to experiment on off days too? God damn, am I Icarus?
I streamed today, for a short 2 hours. And I got a nice idea for content to create around Tarkov.
Asked a friend for feedback on the idea and he didn’t really like it. But even if it doesn’t work out content wise, I think I wanna do it for fun. I think it’s a nice challenge. More on it another day.
peace
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see what happens when you experiment without knowing your limits first 
?
i tried warning you man, now take a couple days off, it should feel better in time, but please don’t try to emulate things certain people do, as there are some people who have been part of the testing group that helped with the development of ZP, which took a bit more than 2 months.
you would be shooting yourself in the left nut if you tried to copy the listening pattern of someone who has been part of that group, also, i know that I played a part in you ending up experimenting, to which i tell you again, please don’t try to copy me, as i’m much different than everyone here, with a proof here;
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Yeah, I was flying to close to the sun I guess. I didn’t do anything TOO crazy. But crazy enough I guess.
Yeah, I am going to listen to StarkQ ZP, GMX ZP Day 1, rest, Day 2 Chosen From Within ZP. Thinking of perhaps switching this to normal Chosen. I know, you did tell me, but I am one of those stubborn people who sometimes have to fall on my ass to learn.
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I have brother. I am fully aware I am only supposed to run 3 ZP titles, and only 2 in the same day. Also a day break. I have learned my lesson. Thanks for the advice and reading my journal guys.
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Day 10
Today is off day, I am feeling a bit better. We shall see how I’m feeling tomorrow.
If I’m any better I shall continue with my subs like a sane person, otherwise I shall take another break day.
I streamed yesterday and will stream today. Trying to make sure I talk and pushmyself to create a nice vibe. I have a bunch of ideas I will try out today to remind myself of a vibe. I will be creating like a vision board but in powerpoint and let it play on my second monitor to inspire me and remind me of why I am doing this, and also perhaps shape the vibe and stream I am creating.
Take care!
Day 11
Subs: StarkQ ZP and Game Mastery X ZP
Today felt better and felt good throughout the day after the subs. When I say better, I mean I still had some ups and downs emotionally, but all in all, I felt ok about it. I am going to stick to following the schedule with 3 ZPS spread out on 3 days. Respect the subs guys!
Todays thoughts and nuts to crack were surrounded around success barriers and performance anxiety. I did journal alot of my thoughts around it and got some better clarity. One interesting idea I’ve been pondering is how do I have so little energy when I stream? I am so passionate about, how come?
Well, you gotta contain yourself. If all I think about all day is streaming and how to grow, it’s so much stress and energy used on that so then when the time comes I am so tired and worned out mentally. I need to learn to “contain” myself. It’s like a kid on sugar or a overly excited kid takes on too much and ends up burning out fast. When I work, focus on work. When I am with family and friends, focus on that. When I am chilling and regenerating, focus on that. Because else I won’t be able to neither work nor rest, because I am thinking of work when resting and thinking of resting when working.
It’s also like being too excited for a new subliminal and switching subliminals all the time. You got pace yourself, be patient and trust the process. Else you will neither get the results you want, nor feel good.
Anyway, just some things I’ve been thinking about. I don’t know what to do about the exposure part of Twitch so far. I’ve been slowly increasing stream time and working through some blocks around succeeding on Twitch. Today I am going to stream as well. I’ve been networking with some streamers as well during the day.
Peace
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Day 12-13
Today was subday and i ran Chosen From Within ZP. I am super motivated to succeed on Twitch and I think StarkQ and GMX is giving me too many ideas all day that I just have to take notes on while I am working. It’s a problem because I want to focus on work while working, resting while resting and working on Twitch when working on Twitch…
But overall the energy, idea generation and drive is insane. I just want to have more control over it. Right now ideas are bursting out of me and I can’t stop it or pause it. I also have to act on them. I need to turn it off while working (dayjob). While working, my clarity and problem solving abilities are on point. I just have these 5-15 minute bursts of Twitch inspiration that takes over from time to time. And these bursts make me question whether I’m productive st work or not. Hope it makes sense. Maybe the multi-tasking over time might still be super productive over time. Who knows.
Anyway, This schedule I’m following seems managable and effective.
So current new path I am following on Twitch is streaming a less popular yet fun game called Super People. It’s in super early development but has big potential and I believe in it. I hope to stake a space in this nische, become great at the game and if a wave (growth/hype) comes, I want to catch it and ride it. I really think it’s a great idea.
peace
Day 14-15 - Sub day
Subs: StarkQ ZP and Game Mastery X ZP
I am manic dude, that’s the one word popping in my head over and over again. I just have all these ideas and I can’t not think about them and work on them. So I have to actually stop myself and be like BREATH dude. I’m almost like Carrie in Homeland (tv show) when she has these brilliant ideas while also being manic, it’s my best example.
I’ve been as I said earlier streaming and learning a new game called SUPER PEOPLE. It’s in Closed Beta and therefore a bit rough on the edges, but I like it and believe it will blow up and I want to ride that wave when it happens. I can see how simply just playing in this smaller category I’m gaining more impressions and clicks on my stream. So that is promising. I need to step up the networking aspect of this plan. To be all over the small community of SUPER PEOPLE now that it’s so small.
I also got me a homemade streamdeck made. Streamdecks cost like 100-300 bucks. What I did was buy a standalone numpad and programmed the buttons like Stark. Cost me 10 bucks. Now I need to find tiny keyboard button sized stickers to mark the numpad keys. Oh and why numpad works so well for me is because my main keyboard is missing a numpad (gamer space efficient keyboard).
So StarkQ has definitely kicked in or put my already high resourcefulness on booster mode. Other thing I am even thinking about doing myself is a TWITCH specific subliminal. Super tailored to Twitch, super tailored to my own perceived “weaknesses” as a streamer. So my Jarvis, as Invictus calls the mind, has been up the past days with ideas and stuff to invent. Maybe I am turning into a maniac?
I’ll make sure to meditate today, so I don’t lose my bearings all too much. Make sure to focus down this energy that has emerged to achieve and solve specific things. I need a plan or I’ll just be a beautiful supernova.
Anyway, just thoughts I’m having sitting here at a cafe, drinking a cup of coffee, looking out at the snowy streets. Thanks for reading.
Peace
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Day 16 - No subs today (rest)
What if the manic thing is basically just me running away from the emotions I’m experiencing? Kinda like a workaholic who is running away from his problems by filling his day with work. I am running Chosen From Within in my stack after all, and perhaps that is bringing some stuff up?
Either way, I am experiencing alot of anxiety and yuck feelings. I just realized I have to accept them and flow into them. Emotions want to be experienced, and I am denying them that because I am labeling them as bad. But they have already occured, they are occuring in the moment, and that’s like denying it’s raining when it is actually already raining. It’s foolish, and just makes things worse.
A quote I have is: “What if this emotion you’re feeling right now is the emotion everyone is looking for, everyone is reading self-help books to find and reach. What if this is the emotion you’re supposed to feel?”
I hope you guys are feeling through some of those emotions, good or bad. Perhaps don’t even label them, labeling makes it worse. It just happened. It’s rain… not “oh no it’s rain, I will get wet.” It’s just rain. Or more realistic: “Oh no I am feeling anxiety and negative emotions, that means the subs are not working…oh no… I will never be successful.” It’s just emotions… experience them.
Peace
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Ive had these exact feelings too on CFW. With me they were caused by the newfound pride going a bit extreme. It also made me feel a bit manic (wich was weirdly enough the exact same weird i used to call it)
The key to CFW for me really was just accepting everything like you said. Accepting every emotion, feeling, insecurity, every part of yourself. bith good and bad. Its interesting that both of our journeys seem to be going in very similair directions.
Great posts man! Keep going!
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For sure dude, I hope I can remember this resolution forever. Looking forward to reading about your journey.
CFW is sneaky beaky like, for sure.
Putting together some interesting metaphors together helped me understand a way to view subliminals and my journey. Basically, do the work, take action, NOT SUPER EXTRA -ACTION MOTIVATED BY NOT BELIEVING YOUR WORTH OR THAT THIS WILL WORK. Unless that’s natural for you and comes from the right place. And just trust the process.
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Day 17 - Chosen From Within ZP
Today was a sub day where I ran Chosen From Within ZP.
Overall a mixed day with some anxiety and some relief. Trying to ride with the waves, experience it etc.
I feel pretty more outgoing and comfortable streaming and socializing. I am also improving in Super People. I feel much better and learn new lesson everytime, take note and try to be better next round.
But there is a hint of anxiety in the background, like a smell. I just gotta remind myself to trust the process. I am taking action already, and the subs are doing their work, I am journaling. The tomato plant is growing and sooner or later there will be tomatoes. Until then, enjoy the ride. In this moment right now.
Of course this is easier said than done. I’ve heard around here recon can show up as “wanting more subs”. I’m having those thoughts as well. But if 3 titles gives me “recon”, then more will not do it better right?
Anyway, keep on exploring, peace.
DAY 18
Not much to say, today was rest day. Been waking up slow last weeks and tired in the morning, as well as sleeping late. I associate that with my brain working overtime on processing the ZP titles. Too worked up to sleep (manic at times) and requiring more rest for the sub processing. This combo = bad.
Also alot of emotions and anxiety. I’ve made some progress since the last post and am trying to lean into the emotions, feel them, experience them and accepting them and no labeling to the best of my ability. Making progress… so.
Also came to the conclusion that after the upcoming washout I am going to do the next run of just StarkQ ZP and GMX ZP. See how that works out and report back.
Day 1: StarkQ ZP
Day 2: Rest
Day 3: GMX ZP
Day 4: Rest
Although I loved the recon and how it gave me an oppprtunity to face my inability to process emotions, I just want to minimize the morning fog and find a perfect middleground. I am though not leaving the idea that when the time is right to run a full on recon trigger pack (probably some healing pack or multistager) and go full on processing emotions.
Oh and I am sure I’ll still face recon just running two ZP titles in the next run, so no worries there. They are powerful, and I fully trust they will challenge me.
Streaming wise, very motivated to stream regardless of the low energy. Game wise improving fast and learning ways to improve daily. Just want to play and kick butt. Socially pretty confident and carefree. I feel progress and the process of change. I just need to deal with this brain mind fatigue.
So much for not much to say… 🥸
Peace
Day 19 - Sub day
StarkQ ZP and Game Mastery X ZP @ 7 minutes each, for science!
Since I’ve been feeling that my brain needs some rest I only played 7 minutes of each ZP title instead of 15. So 7 minutes of StarkQ ZP and Game Mastery X ZP. Just seeing how I’ll feel and if it does any difference. Of course I don’t expect any difference so fast, it’s like having done an insane workout, you won’t recover from it after a day of ”rest” or minimum training for one single day. Some times it might even take a week, but this is perfectly timed with my washout period.
It’s only one more sub day left, and on that I will run CFW 15 minutes, just to squeeze the last bit of it. And then I said earlier what I will do is stick to two ZP titles for the next phase instead of three, and run them for the usual 15 minutes on alternate days.
I really want to run the normal Chosen and not CFW, for the positivity, leadership and confidence. Perhaps it’s not as bad as CFW when it comes to recon etc. But I need to stick to this plan and then we can re-adjust. StarkQ and GMX should be enough for my goals for now.
All in all, a pretty productive day at work. I felt better in the head overall, had a bit more energy and the yuck feelings that did come up I leaned into and faced in a non-judgemental fashion.
Cheers!
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