Risky Two Thousand Twenty Six

Journals - Major Programs
#41

Come to think of, it’s good when I remember that I write results down. For others, but also for me, because realising growth gives momentum to more growth. You become more hopeful and resilient during recon (”growth pains”) and become willing and courageous to go on.

GLM

I haven’t gotten this one locked down yet, but I can see myself panicking over a stimuli and then shortly after calming down. It’s not instant, but it’s definitely faster than before. I guess I’m developing the ability to stay calm under pressure. Another manifestation that proves this is that I’m letting my emotions be experienced instead of panicking and trying to get rid of them. The emotions are not bad, it’s the resistance and negative labels that cause the issues. Another proof of this is reading Man’s Search For Meaning, another manifestation, as one important principle in that book is that a man can always decide the response, instead of just reacting to even the most horrible circumstances. (Like being in a concentration camp). Proactivity. Response-able, responsible.

The aura of peace, where people come to you with stressful issues, then they become calm and feel like my presence have solved issue for them even without saying much. A colleague came to me sharing her frustration with another colleague who’s sinking the whole team. I gave her clarity and she could focus on the meeting at hand.

I notice less care for external validation and motivators, although it’s still an ongoing project (performance reviews), but I know it’s being worked on and will probably be the deepest block/issue I have.

Stoic/calm physical shifting… I did report I noticed less tension in my shoulders, they are a bit lower. I’ve also started to hold eye contact a bit longer rather than darting around as much. I’ve also started to challenge myself to look random passerby’s in the eyes. Not like a weirdo, but just 3 seconds, very short, to challenge myself.

Anyway, that’s it for now.

#42

January 29 2026
Taking another rest day tomorrow. Perhaps this is the way for now, 2 rest days between listening days.

Woke up tired and groggy. It could be recon and also a bunch of other stuff, like hitting the gym late, eating dinner after, which is also late, and it was full moon too. I am superstitious. Lol

It’s not that I hate ny emotions, I just feel they are inappropriate. Like it’s not the right time for them. It’s not the right place, the right time. I want to be locked in when 8am hits and I’m on my laptop ready to solve problems. So I resist them. Suppress them. Escape them.

But I guess that could be viewed as self-hate. Because you feel your emotions are wrong, bad, annoying. Like a child with needs and growth phases acting out, and you feel annoyed by them.
”Why you gotta act out in a public bus?”
”Why do you have to throw tantrums right as we are about to pay for our groceries and people are waiting in line??”

That they are needy. But they need you.

You need to be there for them, despite being frustrated, annoyed. Their emotions and feelings have value. They are part of them. Hating emotions, means hating the person too is my current opinion.

You need to be there for yourself. Be the space for your emotions and your experience. That is you.

Deep work is being done and only with 30 sec. Why push it?

Got a couple candidate interviews lined up and a party tomorrow. Will be fun!

Ending on a positive note.

3 awesome things

  • eggs
  • sleep
  • emotions
4 Likes
#43

Previously when I tried it, I had better results this way. Much more pleasant cycle - less recon, more mental space, even more results

Why am I not continuing it? Good question, I can’t give any rational answer to that

Because I still have a very hard time to believe that less is more lol (on some deep subconscious level). Like, legit it took me more than a year to just start accepting microloops fully and preferring them haha, same thing with more rest days

2 Likes
#44

I fully understand. I do it, push, because of impatience but also I’m an delusional optimist who think

:rofl:

Understandable. In my case it night he also a mix of impatience and thinking I can speed run growth.

Maybe too much optimism thinking I can handle the disruption.

1 Like
#45

I think for me it’s mostly the feeling of urgency, rather than impatience. Like, I need to urgently achieve this and that

I think I was just externalizing the issue, and Regen is helping me to tackle it though. Like, re-learning to slow down, enjoy life and process and take more breaks as they are part of the process as well, which in turn should (hopefully, theoretically) make me more productive AND have more enthusiasm/enjoyment

Slow down as in “focus on the process and enjoy it”, rather than “ehh, achieving my goals isn’t urgent, I can watch some more episodes of this tv-series…” lol, hope I was able to illustrate my point with these examples

1 Like
#46

Understand. Definitely relate to this, I believe it started with Regen as well for me

1 Like
#47

January 30 2026

REST();

5 AM club today, heading to the city to work, conduct interviews and meet up with colleagues and ex colleagues. Then we having a dinner and a party. :balloon:I bet I’m going to mumble about wanting to run WDB tomorrow lol

Spotify has endless audiobooks! That’s awesome yo. I’m going to listen to something.

Party was nice, danced alot, ate good, went to after party. But to be honest, the party could have ended for me on a high note, instead I ended up getting home 5AM. So literally up 24 hours and you how the weekend will go. Lol

Not worth it. That’s self-hate. Trying to be fun and cool and that ”party guy”, when I should focus on being authentic, aligned and not give a f. I overextended.

2 Likes
#48

January 31 2026
Third rest day, whatever.

Feeling like crap of course, hangover. Chemically rubbish.

New month now, still focusing on authenticity and self-love. Sub themes, guilt and self-sabotage.

Perfect lol

I want to go full sober. Nothing is stopping me but me.

#49

February 1 2026
00:30 - Dragon Reborn: Regeneration
00:30 - Godlike Masculinity
00:30 - Love Bomb

3 Positive things last week

  • I held interviews
  • I danced it was fun
  • I had great bowel movements

I’m on that recon, type shift.

Consistency is good. And don’t make your new habit or actions so big that you don’t do them. Better small, ez, doing it, rather than not doing it.

Rest. Don’t fight this downhill cycle/battle. Sleeping less, being less focused at work, working overtime to compensate for it, stress, more coffee, less sleep and on it goes. Break the cycle, trust. Self-love, self- care is the way. Patience! Trust! Love! Positivity!

Risky vs Risky
Me vs Me
Me vs Myself
Me vs I

Elite athletes are something else man. The focus, action and discipline is inspiring.

Perhaps rest days are actually very important, for me at least. Run title. Things are being worked on internally or perhaps that’s just how my subliminal queue works. 2-3 rest days, I get a break. The processing finished. Go on, listen again.

This is just my experiential theory, today. Basically I get recon almost instantly, but it’s worst at the end of the cycle and especially on washout day 4-5. I guess then my system gets overwhelmed as it has so much input and stress and not enough processing/integration. Queue is full dawg. It’s like production line just stops and produces smoke and then it gets started up again right when the next cycle starts, but it’s run down.

Perhaps I’ll make more progress and less disruption, just taking it at my own body’s and minds pace. That I’m actually hurting growth or stunting it if I don’t. Like me trying to speed up is actually making me go slower.

Reminds me this old journal entry:

Emperor, what a sub dude. Amazing. I want to do another run in the future. Ascension → Emperor, so I can go deeper. It’s unbelievably underrated. You could probably just run Emperor forever. If Internet shuts down and all you had was this mp3 file, you’re set. Lol you will become exactly what you should be. Not what you think you should be.

To me it’s like big compound, big muscle group lifting exercises. A core for a masculine man who’s into personal development, like those exercises are for weightlifting.

Rambling out.

3 Likes
#50

image

1 Like
#51

That’s almost what @Hoppa did. One of the most successful members to my knowledge

3 Likes
#52

What do you think about new C&C though?

1 Like
#53

That’s great, Finnish people don’t play around. :ok_hand:

I feel it’s niche. Emperor is more encompassing and general. I haven’t run CC though.

2 Likes
#54

February 2 2026
00:00 - Processing & Integration

Be aware of the adaptive mechanisms. Automatic thoughts, and ask what am I feeling? What emotion/feeling am I stuffing down or trying to run from? Right now it’s a mix of guilt and resistance, which feels clouded. What’s behind the clouds? Perhaps it’s all just guilt/shame? Is this pointless? The last comment was from my inner emperor still watching over me from the last few days talk about emperor.

I shall stare at a wall for an hour and see what comes up. My intuition is telling me this is a good practice for me. A walk in a forest is probably better.

image
(Me imagining myself flying above the recon clouds, also an album recommendation if you’re into city pop, I should get it as a vinyl and hang it as a painting)

I can’t believe so much stuff is coming up to process at 30 sec. Lol? What’s going on?

Don’t forget regen is a healing title, nonetheless if it has spa or not. The spa supposed to make the processing easier, but not necessarily easy.

3 things I’m grateful for

  • Recon
  • subliminal club
  • Groceries, love a full fridge
#55

Sometimes I feel like I get more sensitive to recon the further I go and I absolutely don’t know if this is true or not, but there is a copium belief that gives me hope:

I think with each run, with each cycle, I get better at processing recon and I grow more, because I become more confident and I let go of layers of resistance, and so more suppressed stuff, recon and blocks come up. New challenges appear. Recon is growth pains, if you keep pushing your PR’s, you’ll get sore again.

I expand my comfort zone further, I push the goal flag further, and naturally I’m in the edge of by comfort zone, and that will always be like staring at the edge of a cliff, going further and further, going deeper and deeper.

You’ll always face challenge as you level up your life, if you keep on challenging yourself. It will always be a challenge harder.

So this is not something bad. It’s just the way it is. Expansion. Further into the unknown, as some areas get illuminated there’s new areas further in that are still dark and scary.

First time I ran Khan I did 5 cycles of Khan 1 and Khan Black 1. Felt very little recon. Second time around, it was tougher. After 11 months of Emperor. How? Well, I wasn’t ready to expand the first time around or wasn’t aligned for the growth. I don’t know.

After Emperor, I was ready to delve deeper into Khan, I guess.

Take it easy cowboy, enjoy the ride, you can’t force this shift.

The nice thing about growth is you still get results and can enjoy the fruits of life and your actions. But you’ll also be challenged. Contrast, ahh, yes! Let’s go!

#56

I pray that all young boys and girls have a strong, wise and masculine presence in their life.

A strong and wise father figure would be nice, but a teacher, a friend or a mentor shall suffice.

1 Like
#57

I made the same experience with my LB+ Ascension custom. Recon at first, but it slowly subsided over three cycles. At the end, I didn’t feel any recon with 15 minutes.
Then I ran 7 months of Khan.
The next time I ran the custom by accident for 20 seconds I felt strong recon.
Now that I’m running it again, I feel the custom digging way deeper. And I’m getting strong recon with 5 minutes. I usually don’t struggle with recon and don’t fear it. But this customs recon,… It’s in another level. I doubted my whole existence :joy:

1 Like
#58

I actually thought of you and your experience as well while writing that. Thanks for sharing.

Yeah, it’s mysterious, but there is something’ something there with this ”theory”.

It also reminds how I can read a book and feel it’s crap, and the read it again few years later and take the advice like gospel. I’m a different guy, I have a different perspective and ready to learn from it. I resonate it with it now. Doesn’t mean every book is good and you just not ready for it, but I’ve had many moments like this.

1 Like
#59

February 3 2026
P&I 2

Acceptance + Action
Locus of Control, Locus of Focus.

I didn’t go to the gym because I’m stressed at work and decided to work some off of that backlog. Meta action? Don’t know… working out is good for stress too. But I did what I did.

I don’t understand how anyone reads/watches any other meeting females content/courses other than RSD? It’s like listening to YouTube subliminals instead of listening to subliminal club. To me it’s clear as day, one is 100x better, one is not.

But that’s just me.

#60

February 4 2026
00:30 - Dragon Reborn: Regeneration
00:30 - Godlike Masculinity
00:30 - Love Bomb

Good things this morning:

  • Doja Cat 🐈‍⬛ music
  • Eckhart Tolle
  • Peanut/chocolate protein bar

I’m on my city pop arc as well. Vibe~

I think WDB + City Pop will be a crazy cycle.

Foundation, zero point, point of origin.
Authenticity, masculinity, self-love, self-worth, abundance, presence, expansion, positivity, action and alignment.

Big list.

Met a doctor, he acknowledged my weight loss. That can’t be good coming from a doctor? 🫡

Wonder

Aww

Artistic things, creative, means and the end.

What the hell is self-love? What is self-worth? What am I trying to cultivate? How do I know I’m making progress? Lol

Chip in champ 🫡