I fully understand. I do it, push, because of impatience but also I’m an delusional optimist who think
Understandable. In my case it night he also a mix of impatience and thinking I can speed run growth.
Maybe too much optimism thinking I can handle the disruption.
I think for me it’s mostly the feeling of urgency, rather than impatience. Like, I need to urgently achieve this and that
I think I was just externalizing the issue, and Regen is helping me to tackle it though. Like, re-learning to slow down, enjoy life and process and take more breaks as they are part of the process as well, which in turn should (hopefully, theoretically) make me more productive AND have more enthusiasm/enjoyment
Slow down as in “focus on the process and enjoy it”, rather than “ehh, achieving my goals isn’t urgent, I can watch some more episodes of this tv-series…” lol, hope I was able to illustrate my point with these examples
Understand. Definitely relate to this, I believe it started with Regen as well for me
January 30 2026
REST();
5 AM club today, heading to the city to work, conduct interviews and meet up with colleagues and ex colleagues. Then we having a dinner and a party. 
I bet I’m going to mumble about wanting to run WDB tomorrow lol
Spotify has endless audiobooks! That’s awesome yo. I’m going to listen to something.
Party was nice, danced alot, ate good, went to after party. But to be honest, the party could have ended for me on a high note, instead I ended up getting home 5AM. So literally up 24 hours and you how the weekend will go. Lol
Not worth it. That’s self-hate. Trying to be fun and cool and that ”party guy”, when I should focus on being authentic, aligned and not give a f. I overextended.
January 31 2026
Third rest day, whatever.
Feeling like crap of course, hangover. Chemically rubbish.
New month now, still focusing on authenticity and self-love. Sub themes, guilt and self-sabotage.
Perfect lol
I want to go full sober. Nothing is stopping me but me.
February 1 2026
00:30 - Dragon Reborn: Regeneration
00:30 - Godlike Masculinity
00:30 - Love Bomb
3 Positive things last week
I’m on that recon, type shift.
Consistency is good. And don’t make your new habit or actions so big that you don’t do them. Better small, ez, doing it, rather than not doing it.
Rest. Don’t fight this downhill cycle/battle. Sleeping less, being less focused at work, working overtime to compensate for it, stress, more coffee, less sleep and on it goes. Break the cycle, trust. Self-love, self- care is the way. Patience! Trust! Love! Positivity!
Risky vs Risky
Me vs Me
Me vs Myself
Me vs I
Elite athletes are something else man. The focus, action and discipline is inspiring.
Perhaps rest days are actually very important, for me at least. Run title. Things are being worked on internally or perhaps that’s just how my subliminal queue works. 2-3 rest days, I get a break. The processing finished. Go on, listen again.
This is just my experiential theory, today. Basically I get recon almost instantly, but it’s worst at the end of the cycle and especially on washout day 4-5. I guess then my system gets overwhelmed as it has so much input and stress and not enough processing/integration. Queue is full dawg. It’s like production line just stops and produces smoke and then it gets started up again right when the next cycle starts, but it’s run down.
Perhaps I’ll make more progress and less disruption, just taking it at my own body’s and minds pace. That I’m actually hurting growth or stunting it if I don’t. Like me trying to speed up is actually making me go slower.
Reminds me this old journal entry:
Emperor, what a sub dude. Amazing. I want to do another run in the future. Ascension → Emperor, so I can go deeper. It’s unbelievably underrated. You could probably just run Emperor forever. If Internet shuts down and all you had was this mp3 file, you’re set. Lol you will become exactly what you should be. Not what you think you should be.
To me it’s like big compound, big muscle group lifting exercises. A core for a masculine man who’s into personal development, like those exercises are for weightlifting.
Rambling out.
What do you think about new C&C though?
That’s great, Finnish people don’t play around. 
I feel it’s niche. Emperor is more encompassing and general. I haven’t run CC though.
February 2 2026
00:00 - Processing & Integration
Be aware of the adaptive mechanisms. Automatic thoughts, and ask what am I feeling? What emotion/feeling am I stuffing down or trying to run from? Right now it’s a mix of guilt and resistance, which feels clouded. What’s behind the clouds? Perhaps it’s all just guilt/shame? Is this pointless? The last comment was from my inner emperor still watching over me from the last few days talk about emperor.
I shall stare at a wall for an hour and see what comes up. My intuition is telling me this is a good practice for me. A walk in a forest is probably better.
(Me imagining myself flying above the recon clouds, also an album recommendation if you’re into city pop, I should get it as a vinyl and hang it as a painting)
I can’t believe so much stuff is coming up to process at 30 sec. Lol? What’s going on?
Don’t forget regen is a healing title, nonetheless if it has spa or not. The spa supposed to make the processing easier, but not necessarily easy.
3 things I’m grateful for
Sometimes I feel like I get more sensitive to recon the further I go and I absolutely don’t know if this is true or not, but there is a copium belief that gives me hope:
I think with each run, with each cycle, I get better at processing recon and I grow more, because I become more confident and I let go of layers of resistance, and so more suppressed stuff, recon and blocks come up. New challenges appear. Recon is growth pains, if you keep pushing your PR’s, you’ll get sore again.
I expand my comfort zone further, I push the goal flag further, and naturally I’m in the edge of by comfort zone, and that will always be like staring at the edge of a cliff, going further and further, going deeper and deeper.
You’ll always face challenge as you level up your life, if you keep on challenging yourself. It will always be a challenge harder.
So this is not something bad. It’s just the way it is. Expansion. Further into the unknown, as some areas get illuminated there’s new areas further in that are still dark and scary.
First time I ran Khan I did 5 cycles of Khan 1 and Khan Black 1. Felt very little recon. Second time around, it was tougher. After 11 months of Emperor. How? Well, I wasn’t ready to expand the first time around or wasn’t aligned for the growth. I don’t know.
After Emperor, I was ready to delve deeper into Khan, I guess.
Take it easy cowboy, enjoy the ride, you can’t force this shift.
The nice thing about growth is you still get results and can enjoy the fruits of life and your actions. But you’ll also be challenged. Contrast, ahh, yes! Let’s go!
I pray that all young boys and girls have a strong, wise and masculine presence in their life.
A strong and wise father figure would be nice, but a teacher, a friend or a mentor shall suffice.
I made the same experience with my LB+ Ascension custom. Recon at first, but it slowly subsided over three cycles. At the end, I didn’t feel any recon with 15 minutes.
Then I ran 7 months of Khan.
The next time I ran the custom by accident for 20 seconds I felt strong recon.
Now that I’m running it again, I feel the custom digging way deeper. And I’m getting strong recon with 5 minutes. I usually don’t struggle with recon and don’t fear it. But this customs recon,… It’s in another level. I doubted my whole existence 
I actually thought of you and your experience as well while writing that. Thanks for sharing.
Yeah, it’s mysterious, but there is something’ something there with this ”theory”.
It also reminds how I can read a book and feel it’s crap, and the read it again few years later and take the advice like gospel. I’m a different guy, I have a different perspective and ready to learn from it. I resonate it with it now. Doesn’t mean every book is good and you just not ready for it, but I’ve had many moments like this.
February 3 2026
P&I 2
Acceptance + Action
Locus of Control, Locus of Focus.
I didn’t go to the gym because I’m stressed at work and decided to work some off of that backlog. Meta action? Don’t know… working out is good for stress too. But I did what I did.
I don’t understand how anyone reads/watches any other meeting females content/courses other than RSD? It’s like listening to YouTube subliminals instead of listening to subliminal club. To me it’s clear as day, one is 100x better, one is not.
But that’s just me.
February 4 2026
00:30 - Dragon Reborn: Regeneration
00:30 - Godlike Masculinity
00:30 - Love Bomb
Good things this morning:
I’m on my city pop arc as well. Vibe~
I think WDB + City Pop will be a crazy cycle.
Foundation, zero point, point of origin.
Authenticity, masculinity, self-love, self-worth, abundance, presence, expansion, positivity, action and alignment.
Big list.
Met a doctor, he acknowledged my weight loss. That can’t be good coming from a doctor? 🫡
Wonder
Aww
Artistic things, creative, means and the end.
What the hell is self-love? What is self-worth? What am I trying to cultivate? How do I know I’m making progress? Lol
Chip in champ 🫡
February 5 2026
Processing and integration, type shift…
QiGong/Taichi for flow and stillness and embodiment. Get more into my body than head. Vitality, health and energy. Balance. Relaxation, nervous system balance.
City pop makes me feel good. I was feeling alot of stress but that subsided after focusing on what I can control, doing some breathwork and eating lunch.
Focus on relaxation. Focus on acceptance. Focus on non-resistance. Focus on action. Focus on your locus of control. But also let go.
Another day or two of 30s, then I might feel ready for 1 minute loops.
February 6 2026
01:00 - Dragon Reborn: Regeneration
01:00 - Godlike Masculinity
01:00 - Love Bomb
Nothing special to say today, making progress at work. Still stressed. Yes dude!
Going for 1 minute duration today, feeling it out.
February 7 2026
Rest and integration day
”Your goal is not to consume as much subliminal audio as possible. Your goal is self-mastery and the achievement of your objectives. Sometimes that means listening more; often it means listening less and integrating more.”
”… noting at which exposure tier reconciliation occurs and staying at that listening exposure until reconciliation is no longer discernible during a rest day, you would increase exposure to the next interval.”
Definitely recon today. I shall go back to 30 seconds. I’m also going to put space between the titles. Grouping GLM + DRReg together and LB on the second listening day.
City Pop Saturdays, like I’m on vacation in the Bahamas or Hawaii. Like I’m walking around in my Hawaii shirt, sunglasses and shorty’s, barefoot. With a iced cuba libre in my hand, or a Sicilian fruit ice cream. Is this ”my inner spa”?
“I care about this suffering. I see you! Care for a cup of tea?”
Attended a talk about accessibility and how to get certified in it. To be honest, it felt the least accessible certification, which is ironic lol they literally want you to jump through 10 hoops over months, that’s not even related to studying for the exam or competence/skill, just taking it, and then you have a bunch of credits you have to earn yearly to keep it, which is basically marketing activities for them. It sounds like the biggest pyramid scheme ever. But one great thing was the talkers tip of G LLM. Top notch! The rest? Mid! Accessibility is important, but it’s not 10 hoops and 400$ important. You just need some reading, apply it, common sense and get feedback when building software. Ez.
I got these books:
I chose Radical Acceptance to complement LB. Don’t know of any classics for self-love. Feel free to share what completely changed your life.
I think I should just set a goal and trust my intuition instead of reading these books. Listen for inspiration. Rely on my self could be a healthy exercise, but old habits die hard.