I was literally scrolling through Tiktok and saw someone who’s known world wide as an incredible dancer and choreographer doing the most laziest shit ever and looking so get views and comments and I was just thinking…why can’t I do it but …properly? So I’m doing it.
Nothing major to update.
I’ve been off a couple days. Current on my rest day.
Just realised I missed a day of subs because I miss calculated. Oops.
Gonna start tonight anyway.
A bit of a frustrating few days, things just annoying me a little. My tie dye sweat shirt got ruined for some reason and I don’t think I can fix it. Very annoying.
Probably recon happening from the custom too.
I’m questioning my worth in society and starting to have an attitude of ‘What?? Why has this got like a million likes…I can do better than that…’ and then just kind of doing it which is what made me start filming my Tiktoks this week.
Anyway, I’ve got my boyfriends camera and tripod so gonna film my choreo tomorrow for Tiktok and do a couple videos of my choreo to some of the trend songs old and new to build up some content. I just wanna do it. No procrastinating. I’ve just really been passionate about getting it done and mostly not caring what people think.
I’ve also blocked someone on my Instagram who tried to call me out and wrote a status about me. I feel like PCC is making me realise who my true people are. The people that genuinely care.
Ah man, I appreciate your support and love. You’re a gem.
I’ll end up using Ultima at some point!
I definitely think it’s recon too. I’ve taken three days off, starting back up tonight. Just gonna push through. I feel like it’s recon since it’s since I’m questioning my ability to be big on social media due to my dance ability…
A lot of negative and bad thoughts happening still.
I listened to the subs last night.
Still a lot of questioning my own ability and questioning whether I should be big on social media and whether I deserve it or not.
Hmm.
Definitely recon, right?
I didn’t take any action today, I’ve been so tired.
However I’ve had a few ideas come to me to build up my profiles.
I just need content ideas and stuff. I’m starting not care about doing stuff in popular like taking pictures and making videos.
I’m still aware as my area and/or city like to steal things or make fun of people - I’ve been harassed before for being gay so I’m aware of people around me - but I don’t care about doing stuff like dancing in public anymore.
My sleep has been terrible, especially the past couple days. Yesterday I had 4 hours, today I got woken up by my boyfriend’s alarm - which he does often. He has the magical ability to go back to sleep whereas I have to wake up and stay awake until a nap time. Gah.
It’s been pretty lame sleep.
I’m about to head to sleep infact.
if he’s not going to wake up for the alarm and it effects you so negatively, why doesn’t he just not set the alarm until he is actually going to wake up? Seems reasonable. Stark-coming to your defense effect lol.