Back in June 2019, WhiteTiger asked:
when do you know you have done enough healing?
St. Sovereign responds:
It’s an intuitive process. Personally, I believe you would need to run a sub for almost a year in order to get “complete healing.” There’s just so many things that we deal with that it’d be exceptionally hard to get rid of it all.
For example, as good as I’m doing in life, I’m finding myself in this state of existential dread – the notion that our consciousness simply ceases to exist upon physical death and we’re just gone – multiple times a day. It makes me want to do nothing but stay inside all day and do nothing, because that will keep me “safe.”
However, I had a breakthrough on Khan. I’m realizing that this is some kind of incredibly deep seated fear of success and it’s manifesting as a fear of physical death. Basically, I’m doing so good right now that it scares my subconscious, given that my childhood was filled with messaging that I’d never amount to anything.
How long will it take for me to fully overcome 18 years of negative societal training? Who knows. I’m going to keep running Total Breakdown until I feel ready to move on. There’s no rules in regards to that.