Reclaiming my power - A Journal by MatAlexander305

Journals - Major Programs
#102

Classic :joy: I remember saying where are we going all the time, and he just if I donā€™t say anything just go straigh dumb assā€¦

2 Likes
#103

Ok, so last night was a blast!

We got to the bowling place, realized it was a 45-minute wait, then decided to grab some food and do an escape room instead.

I was cool with it, but there was a girl working at the bowling place that was real fine, and she kept eyeing me. I remember sitting there trying to think of what to doā€¦ and then thatā€™s when we decided to leave :expressionless:

After doing the escape room, we decided to go clubbing at this Latin place and man oh manā€¦ letā€™s say Iā€™ve grown quite fond of Latin women :flushed:

Gawddamn I was getting eyes left and right (maybe because my boy and I were the only white boys there, LOL), But Nah, for real, it was really fun. Somehow, my dancingā€™s improved since the last time I went despite never practising. I was totally in the moment just having fun.

One girl, in particular, caught my eye, and she stared at me a lot, only problem was she was there with someone :upside_down_face:

Whatever, though, we all had a blast. Weā€™re going to go more often now, so thatā€™ll be interestingā€¦ maybe Iā€™ll play Wanted before I go next time. True social did its thing, so who knows whatā€™ll happen :grin:

3 Likes
#104

Damn thatā€™s a little harsh :joy: , somehow I donā€™t think they enjoy their job very much

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#105

Iā€™m starting to worry about running DR.

The last few days have been amazing; I feel very confident and happy with my life. My stack is starting to generate the kind of results I was after. But it feels like itā€™s only beginning, and I think that running it longer would yield much more profound effects. The kind of effects that would be paradigm shifting for me.

I still want to run DR, but I worry that itā€™ll ruin my summer. If I begin my cycle on April 10th (like Iā€™ve planned), I would finish the cycle on July 19th and start my new stack on July 24th.

Iā€™m just really pondering whatā€™s best going forward. I donā€™t want to be an emotional wreck for 104 days. Especially not in the summer.

Ugh, I donā€™t know what to do. DR and Love Bomb would probably be my stack, so maybe LB would offset some of those negative emotions?

Iā€™ve also been thinking about revamping my Stark/True social custom in ZP format and running it instead of Stark and True Social individually.

Summary
  • StarkQ
  • True Social
  • Lion IV
  • Dominion
  • Submodel alpha
  • Manipulus
  • Dragons tongue
  • Story teller
  • Song of joy
  • Emperorā€™s voice
  • Voice Master
  • Furious accent
  • Natural winner
  • Invincible presence
  • Ethereal presence
  • Entranced
  • Elegance
  • Stress displacement
  • Yggdrasil
  • Mosaic

Oh well, time will tell

3 Likes
#106

Helluva journal, I read it like a nice novel :smiley:

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#107

Thank you! Cheers @lovage

1 Like
#108

I get you. Stage 1 and 2 are heavy ones, for sure. Not easy, but totally worth it in the long run.

Though Stage 3 actually feels like a ā€˜dragon flightā€™ :grin:

What are your main priorities right now?

3 Likes
#109

@Athanax

I have this nervous tick that I canā€™t seem to get rid of when Iā€™m in social situations. I find it hard to just relax and be present in the moment. Iā€™m always in my own head, over analyzing everything, thinking about what to say nextā€¦ there just no natural flow to it.

So more than anything else, Iā€™m just trying to overcome this. And to me theirs two ways to do it with subs.

  1. Run Programs like True social, Stark, Daredevil (Direct programming)
  2. Run healing programs like DR, CFW, Regeneration etc. (Removal and healing of the negative programming that led to this behaviour)

Last few days have been great though, so I think True Social is working as intended.

If I had to sum up my priorities, itā€™d be

  1. Improving my social skills/ social life
  2. Maximizing my looks.

Think in terms of inner and outer game. Not so much in the red pill dating scene sense but if I were to build a character in sims Iā€™d want to increase his charisma, increase his social skills, and increase his attractiveness (physically, his style, body language) If I attract women into my life, great, if not, whatever. Thatā€™s not the main priority (Damn that wanted nonchalance is really working :joy: )

2 Likes
#110

Today was another good day!

Zero social anxiety, was friendly with everyone, cracking jokes, I wasnā€™t caught up in my head. It was awesome.

I think True Social has me bouncing between conscious competence and unconscious competence. There are times that I donā€™t have any witty answers or sometimes anything to say at all in my interactions with others. And I used just to get frustrated after and think, ā€œWhatā€™s wrong with me? Why canā€™t I stop being so shyā€.

Now Iā€™m quickly able to think of awesome witty replies after the fact (and during). It reminds me of PS, except this is more geared towards everyday social interactions.

This leads me to believe I should leave True Social in whatever stack I plan on running next. Actually, I think iā€™ll run it for a good while. Iā€™m talking 6-8 months. So it gets ingrained in my core, and I can leave my old self behind.

3 Likes
#111

I was like that as well before I developed my social skills, so I get where you are coming from. Very much in my mind, and never really in the social game. I was very awkward :sweat_smile:

Working on social skills (and appearance!) while also addressing any murky lurks in the deep is a solid plan. You inspire me to take a closer look at True Social :slight_smile:

TS also seems to agree with you, which is awesome, so congrats to that :slight_smile:

About your concern with running DRā€¦ One idea is to start slowly with the healing process and run True Social and either CFS or Regeneration (or both) for now, and wait with DR for a while.

That way you could enjoy the spring and summer, do some healing (which tbh is great in preparation for the full DR), and you can keep on developing social skills uninterrupted and with high energy right now, which is your priority after all. Healing subs like DR takes precedence as it hogs up all your available energy, but running Regeneration for now could be enough, as you also has other priorities than deep healing.

Alternatively, you could dive straight into DR right now and get through stage 1 and 2 during spring, and come summer youā€™ll be on stage 3 most likely, and the worst part of DR will be behind you.

Either way is valid, of course.

What are your thoughts on that?

2 Likes
#112

Good idea! I think I might do this.

This is also a viable option, my thing is Iā€™m starting to go out more now and I want to take advantage of that and really hone in on my social skills. So I think Iā€™ll wait on DR for now.

Thank you for the suggestions! :blush:

1 Like
#113

You can enter a support ticket for help with a plan.

2 Likes
#114

Awesome, thank you!

1 Like
#115

Remember you donā€™t have to go through this alone.

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#116

Yeahā€¦ I have alot of lone wolf tendencies

Thank you :slightly_smiling_face:

2 Likes
#117

I think Iā€™m going to Run CFW alongside Wanted and my updated Custom:

  1. StarkQ
  2. True Social
  3. Lion IV
  4. Dominion
  5. Submodel alpha
  6. Dragons tongue
  7. Story teller
  8. Song of joy
  9. Emperorā€™s voice
  10. Voice Master
  11. Furious accent
  12. Natural winner
  13. Lifeblood Fable
  14. Invincible presence
  15. Ethereal presence
  16. Entranced
  17. Elegance
  18. Yggdrasil
  19. Jupiter
  20. Mosaic

(Only issue here is that I want to add ā€œAlpha of Alphaā€ somewhere in here but I donā€™t know what to remove. Quite honestly, I donā€™t want to remove anything at all. I may just leave it as is and order it. But Iā€™ll sleep on this just in case I think of something.)

1 Like
#118

Got some results for Wanted:

My jawline is really starting to look good. Itā€™s beginning to look sharper, itā€™s more pronounced and Iā€™m actually staring to get that hollow cheek effect.

My only issue is my right side is more defined than my left, so Iā€™m going to start chewing mastic gum only on my left side.

I already do my best to only chew my food on my left, so hopefully it will catch up.

3 Likes
#119
  1. StarkQ
  2. True Social
  3. Lion IV
  4. Dominion
  5. Alpha of Alpha
  6. Dragons tongue
  7. Story teller
  8. Song of joy
  9. Emperorā€™s voice
  10. Voice Master
  11. Furious accent
  12. Natural winner
  13. Lifeblood Fable
  14. Invincible presence
  15. Ethereal presence
  16. Entranced
  17. Elegance
  18. Yggdrasil
  19. Jupiter
  20. Mosaic

Gonna take one more tour around the Q store before I pull the trigger.

3 Likes
#120

Iā€™m thinking of adding total nonchalance, but then again Wanted probably covers this. :thinking:

2 Likes
#121

Nice build, Wanted and Lion IV module also have nonchalance in it :slight_smile:

2 Likes