Taking a 7 day wash out.
Lost track of my 21 day cycle, and probably went over
So something needs to change. I need to strike a balance between socializing and working.
How Iām going to do that is still up for debate, but Iāll have to give it some thought.
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLLOL
My intuition game is surreal
Never doubting it again
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MONDAY MOOD
WOOOOOOOOOO
I donāt think Iāve ever been this happy
I feel like a weight has been lifted, one that Iāve carried for years.
This washout after total breakdown has been life changing.
Im so happy and carefree now. I know who I am, what I stand for. I know my value, I know my worth.
And Iām actually social now, like all my social anxiety just disappearedā¦ itās so weird. Im genuinely scratching my head, Iāve been trying to fix my anxiety issues for years, and after two cycles of total breakdown it just disappeared???
Without even tryingā¦
Like, Iām a new person. I actually want to meet people and talk. Before I used to just avoid eye contact, keep to myself, never talk to strangers. Now I smile, I acknowledge everyone, Iāll happily talk to anyone, Iām no longer afraid of being my true self.
This is fucking awesome.
IF YOU HAVE TRAUMA OF ANY KIND, RUN TOTAL BREAKDOWN AND TELL IT TO GET F*CKEDā¦
(Because it will 
)
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Iāve been working on my copywriting alot, and Iām quite proud of myself.
But the other day I was thinking about why Iām not progressing as fast as I would likeā¦ and I was reminded of Andrew Tateās video about Getting what you deserve: ANDREW TATE ON WHY YOU ARE EXACTLY WHERE YOU DESERVE TO BE š¤Æ š§ THE MINDSET YOU NEED TO BE SUCCESSF - YouTube
I used to watch this video over and over again to really engrain this concept in my brain:
āThe situation. you find yourself in is 100% your fault. Why? BECAUSE YOU TOLERATE ITā
You tolerate being broke, you tolerate being fat, you tolerate your naggy wife and your one birthday blowjob a year. If you no longer tolerated this reality, if you raised your standards and started ACTING and LIVING UP to your new standards, then this old reality would simply perishā¦ and youād level up.
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So I was thinking about this video, and more importantly, this concept of tolerating your current situation.
And I began thinking about training. Working out was my introduction to self improvement. It taught me that I am capable of changing my reality. And despite being addicted to weed for 3 years, being depressed and skipping school, experiencing social anxiety so bad that I refused to leave my house, having anxiety attacks and fighting borderline agoraphobia everydayā¦
I still always managed to stay in shape. Even during covid, everyone talked about putting on weight and I never put on a single pound.
Despite this giant roller coaster of events, I always maintained a decent physique, why?
Because I cannot tolerate being out of shape
The thought of being skinny or being fat damages my brain. I cannot even fathom a reality where I am any variation of those two. Being in fantastic shape is ESSENTIAL. The pain of being out of shape is unbearable, I canāt tolerate it and I never will. I need to be in shape like I need air.
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So now Iām trying to figure out how I can extrapolate this mentality to other areas? Specifically wealth and productivity.
My obsession with health and fitness is because it changed who I am at my very core. I began feeling strong, confident, attractive. Girls started chasing me, thirsting for me, I became the hottest guy in school seemingly over night.
I may have struggled with school and doing homework, but no one could replicate my intense work ethic in the gym, let alone my amazing results.
I had something special that none of my friends had or could even replicate.
Now how can I do this with wealth and productivity? I link the two because productivity is the number one thing holding me back from wealth. I have a set plan and I know exactly what to do. But all the years of procrastination, never doing homework, etcā¦ all of that has caught up to me.
And here I am now, running QL trying to re write this shitty programming and all the lazy habits that came with it.
So referencing back to my first post:
I need to stop tolerating being lazy, I need to stop tolerating being broke. And the number one reason I still tolerate these things is because Iām somewhat comfortable where I am.
Iām still living at home with my parents, work isnāt fun but itās tolerable, I go to the gym at night, then chill in the hot tub, sauna etc. Then come home, eat, have a chamomile tea then off to bed. Repeat until Friday, then Iāll usually have a few drinks then bed. Saturday, same thing, or Iāll go out and drink even more. Sunday Iāll even have 2-3 drinks in the evening cause why not right?
WRONG
See Iāve never struggled with alcoholism or anything. But Iāve realized that alcohol isnāt beneficial for my current circumstances. In a way, Iāve been using it as a form of escapism. Just like I did with weed. Almost like I just switched vices 
Thing isā¦ I donāt drink Monday -Friday. So surely a few drinks on the weekend isnāt hurting me?
WRONG
It is, because itās numbing. It makes my current situation tolerable and thatās exactly the problem. Iām not content with my current situation, but if Iām having those few drinks Friday. Saturday, Sunday, I can tolerate it.
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But do I want to tolerate my current situation? HELL NO, so why keep drinking? It ruins my sleep, I feel tired and de motivated the next day, itās expensive, itās not healthyā¦ like wtf is the point of drinking unless Iām going out.
There really is none. I already struggle with productivity and getting work done, why would I make it harder on myself by drinking on the days that count most, my free days where i have all day to work on escaping my 9-5 and build my dream life.
I canāt believe itās taken this long to realize, but Iām done drinking. Unless itās a special occasion, I donāt need and frankly want it in my life. I feel amazing without it, so why drink it?
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Alcohol is one thing, but Iām sure i discover other reasons that Iām relatively comfortable in this less than ideal position.
Hopefully the more I discover, the more Iāll be able to level up my standards and my work ethic along with it.
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Alcohol messes with your sleep
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Finally done Total breakdown - 3 dreadful monthsā¦ and I gotta say that was a f*cking shit show.
Itās been 5 days since I listened to subs and Iām still in recon from TBD. In this third listening cycle, Iāve had no tolerance for this sub.
I played one full loop on day one of this cycle, and Iāve been an emotional mess ever since. After a few days, i played 3 days of 30 sec micro loops (in a row) which seemed manageable, until recon caught up and hit me like a train.
Itās been 8 or 9 days and Iām still in recon from TBDā¦
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Continuingā¦
This was a nice post, and a fun time. But shortly after starting cycle 3, it completely reversed and I fell into a terrible state of stress, anger and intense anxiety.
All of this is no longer true, donāt want to talk to anyone. I try and force myself to smile and be social but total breakdown has me feeling too emotionally unstable right now.
Anger is consuming me, rage is controlling my mind. I canāt be happy or friendly in this state. It just scares people and leaves me feeling like an alien.
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So Iām dropping my custom and adding RICH.
Time to focus on fiances.
Khan st2
QLst4
RICH
= New stack
