Welp, just ran my first loop of Khan St1: Total breakdown.
May god have mercy on my soul
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The dreams I had last night, after the 30 seconds were totally from a sci-fi adventure movie 
Ludicrous insane! Lol
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So far so good. Voice is deeper (Could be from my custom though), Iām commanding my subordinates with ease now. I feel powerful, assertive, masculine, invincible, my frame is on point. Also, Iām feeling very sexual.
No crazy recon yet, no sad thoughts, and generally nothing bad to say about khan st1 so far.
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Feeling very stoic and almost zen on khan st1. Everything I mentioned yesterday still stands. Iām really noticing a strong frame control aspect. Theirs a PCC sort of feel to it. I suddenly have all the power and control in my social interactions. Assertiveness is also very noticeable. Itās never been my forte, but Iām starting to get comfortable with it.
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Sounds like Khan stage 1 is working just as expected. Beautiful sub.
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Iām feeling so lonely. This is the first Friday in a while i havenāt gone out and Iām hating it. The urge to go out and meet people, have fun, do wild stuff is through the roof. Iām tempted to go out by myself but thatās so weird and Iām not used to it. Idk how to make friends lol.
Maybe Iām being dramatic, āohh poor mat, heās feeling lonelyā get over it smh 
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In one sentence āstop itā. Iāve had people like this whoāve said it to me or said grow up without understand the needs that I have. Some people donāt understand that people like us enjoy going out then staying at home, playing videos games (Which I enjoy but not on weekends) or ārelaxingā. Thatās why whenever Iām in your city (or next Tuesday hehe) honestly I donāt mind if we go out just the two us because I know we will have fun when we go out.
Itās a skill you will have to honestly learn or relearn. For example, I use to be able to easily become friends with people at the gym in a way that is natural but as type went on since I stop doing it, that skilled dulled so when I I became friends with a new person at the gym it was a bit awkward at first but who cares? As long as your growth thatās what most important. Remember social skills is a gift 99% of men donāt have. Imagine you growth to the point where you mastered your social skills, you become the top 1% of men in some shame or form. Now thatās exciting.
And ps back to this topic, I know exactly how you feel because to be honest Iām feeling it right now. I try not to focus on it but going out is one of the ways Iām able to enjoy my weekends which funnily enough makes me more productive at work and better at it because I already enjoyed the weekend and I donāt just wait for the week to past. For me in my case whenever I ask my closest friend if he wants to go out and says no which itās been like this for a month now I respect him but deep them Iām not mad I get really sad. Hereās a friend who I use to always go out with and have fun and now heās gone liking to stay at home or go out with his girl. I love the guy but like I said that still doesnāt fix the deep sadness I feel from not going out. In way, I feel our friendship because less and less strong and honestly it terrifies me but oh well life happens.
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And one last thing whenever your in my city just know if we go out just me and you Iām always down 
Iāve always been the type of person to believe in work hard/smart, play hard. Work hard on weekdays and weekend mornings and party at night. If your not doing anything and playing videos games instead then I understand but I genuinely canāt enjoy doing that all day 
Weāll have a good time, Iām sure of that 
Yeah youāre right lol, Iām just rarely open to people. Iām very closed off and distant to people I donāt know. Itās not easy to approach me. And for me to approach someone elseā¦ ya not happening (at least right now)
Life happens in seasons, sometimes that season differs from person to person. Just try and be understanding.
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Exactly, I used to be like that. Playing video games all day is the most dreadful depressing existence. Work life balance (like you said) is so important to me. I need both (balance) or else things begin to fall apart for me. Thatās why I canāt fully go into all out party mode or monk mode.
:))
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Everyone is but when you make a conscious decision and take action anything is possible if you put your mind to it. If you want to open up and approach people you can and I will help you when we go out no problem. Eventually you will do it so many time that it will be either automatic or natural.
Like I said I understand but it doesnāt solve my internal sadness of what I want to do and itās okay but I will damn make sure I find a way to solve it no way or another.
Yeah I try monk mode once and never liked it if anything it made my wealth aspects of my life works because my mood was always shit and I was always extremely depressed. Party mode Iāve never done it, Iāve always been pretty balanced in that if I go party I will do usually once every two weeks but I need to at least go out once a week no matter. I canāt stay at home all day and donāt get me wrong I still play videos games but usually only if itās a new game which I finish right away and then go back to doing what Iāve always done so itās not a long-term thing itās just a one day thing usually.
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One last thing to prove anything is possible. Remember back in higschool I use to be this shy kid, who at in the bathroom and was terrified to talk to anyone so he would usually read books instead. To go from that to the person you know me as now is not easy feet yes but anyone can do it. If you truly want something and you take the action to achieve anything is possible and I know you have that drive and desire to achieve it but in the end it all starts with you 
I know I know, itās a skill Iāll have to learn or re learn. Somehow, I think Iāll get good at it real quick 
Of course, but you also canāt depend on others for your happiness. Thatās not their responsibility. But I get it, because of your particular situation; itās hard
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You will itās pretty easy when your smart
Yeah like I said itās all about for me basically going back to square one on going out world. Taking the first step to go out with people, make new friends and go out with those new friends more frequently and basically level up in the sense from where I started. I know I can do it, I just need to go out and do it 
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Me neither, I guess I sort of haveā¦ just not in a way most would think. Iāve went though a fazes in my life where I smoked a lot of weed, drank a lot, and just over indulged in general. And it always sucks. Because theirs no end to that hedonistic black hole. It keeps going forever and ever and you always end up chasing a higher high and somehow the more you do itā¦ the worse you feel. The more empty you feel. Your soul begins to yearn for something more. Thatās how I quit smoking weed, the pain became so unbearable that I had no other choice. I had to either upgrade my addictions to worse vices (which I couldnāt bring myself to do) or I stop my addiction dead in its tracks.
Luckily, I made the right decision
Like every time Iām on vacation, I struggle to be present and enjoy the moment. Because I start thinking about working, and what I need to work on. And if I did x how would my life be? Or if I did Y, would that be better?
The last 2 years when I went camping itās all I thought about. I even starting going through some gumroad courses while on vacation like thatās how bad I was 
So itās just another side of the same coin. You donāt want to fall too hard on any side. Their are however, times in life where itās important to focus on one thing, but in generalā¦ balance is important.
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Yessir, i get the struggle though. Most people arenāt like us. So itās hard to find friends that arenāt normies. One thing you can do though is find good blueprints
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Great decision as you know yourself but I think in the party mode context someone whoās in that mode doesnāt necessarily do weed or drink (Drinking is usually the case tho) however their in the mode where they go out to clubs or bars every night which honestly I could never do. Once a week, I donāt mind since I recover the next day but everyday thatās a whole different animal.
Yeah I had the same thing and thatās why I mentioned for you when we eventually do go to a rave next year, we canāt just go in our current state, we need to upgrade. Now luckily for us itās pretty simple wealth and more so social skills like I told you girls will come anyway when that equation is present but more so if we have the social skills we can make a massive group of friends at the rave which will be way more fun.
To add to this, Iāve had vacations where I hooked up with no one but met a group of 20 or so fun friends and to this day itās the funest time of my life and I had day where I hooked up with almost one girl with every day of the vacation but didnāt really make any new friends and even though it was a good vacation, it wasnāt as enjoyable of a vacation then the other. In a way, follow enjoyment/friendship and not lust unless you really meet a girl who you want to have as a girlfriend. Now Iāve gotten to age where I would much rather have a new friend that I can hang out with then random sex with a girl.
But usually thatās starts with an initial imbalance. If your poor, yes itās good to overwork, overcompensate and not go out at all and just focus on wealth but once you achieved wealth depending the person you might slow down your progress if your the type of person who enjoys going out. Like you mentioned in this case balance is key. When wealth is in check, social life is in check, the love part will come naturally so you get a nice balance.
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Yes sirr and yeah itās hard but if you keep pushing you will find some no matter.
Anyway I got a coaching call with Mo Samuels tomorrow so I have to go to sleep early.
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Best decision I ever made. I thank myself everyday.
Thatās why I said sort of, but yeah I donāt understand that lifestyle. Taking care of my physical and mental health trumps my need to party like a manic.
Wise choice. Goes back to what I said about the hedonistic trap. Using other people as human fleshlights isnāt healthy for any gender. I actually think itās the reason western society is so degenerated.
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