the issue is that this is 100% a projection based on what you’re saying.
The past is stopping you from acting rationally in the future.
I’m not saying it’s right/wrong to sit/stand
But i’m saying you’re not seeing the situation for the situation, you’re seeing it for the story you’re bringing on, which your gf’s family has NO IDEA about, so maybe they shouldn’t be subjected to it, and it should be your responsibility to heal that on your side, not their responsibility to accommodate you on it.
If noone is religious and it’s literally just out of respect for the 1-2 people that are, they’re probably much more aligned with you than you’d tend to believe, and maybe the guy “demanded” it but it was in your best interest to do so so you can be respectful in front of their family.
I think what you “should do” is work on the trigger, and then do what you feel is best from that place. If once the trigger is gone you feel like you don’t want to stand, don’t stand. But right now are you saying no to him, or your father?
I would recommend this journaling exercise considering you have a very specific negative memory to target. You’ll see in 5 mins of watching this it is NOT your standard journaling. I think i need to try it myself for certain memories.