8/14 Afternoon Time!
Been feeling called to run Alchemist this past week or so. Not quite there yet but I’ve been giving it serious consideration. Reading through the original development thread was fun though.
Today’s Listen:
1.5min KBC3
1.5min DR:LD
3 min AsC
1.5 min BDLM
8/15 Morning Time!
So it begins!
I work in food service at a college. Today is my first day of work this week, and it’s also the week that the students return to campus. So, growing numbers of mouths to feed, day by day, increasing to full capacity by next week.
I welcome the return. Having my normal work schedule back allows me to be more focused, if I choose. I find it easier to plan tasks around my work day for some reason; my days off are usually unfocused but relaxing. It also lends help to my diet and eating patterns. There is a far greater variety of healthy food to choose from at work than there is at home, and at work, lunch is free too. 
More money for customs!
Lol.
Got a ticket in regarding a dual core only custom. I’m hoping such a thing will fly. Actually, I’d like to find out if I can put a major title core in a custom build by itself. So then, a voice embedded major title would be…what, $144? Good to know.
I’m recalling something Saint wrote recently, regarding modules, how the ideas or beginnings of a module are pulled from the major titles. Seeing other tidbits of that as well, like how majors are suspected to have DEUS and Mosaic and Yggdrasil in already. At least, some version of some of the scripting of those modules. I think it could be beneficial to see what Major Title inspired what modules, and to what degree (perhaps a ballpark figure) an included module could enhance and expand the scripting in the major title core.
For example: The Revelation of Mind appears (to me) to have parts/shades of Information Releaser, Energetic Development XI, The Merger of Worlds among others. I think I would appreciate knowing that including ED XI in with RoM core enhances or expands ED XI goals by 50% (made up number).
Something along these lines. Might just be some mental exercising.
Rest day today. Tomorrow KBC3 and WB.
Til next time!
8/16 Morning Time!
Yesterday went fine. Today we get another influx of students, so the workload increases accordingly. While I enjoy the slow times of summer and winter break, and I don’t mind the in session workload, the transition week(s) suck. Work was hot af too, felt like the AC on the floor wasn’t working. The kitchen was cool, but I don’t work back there.
Reminder for myself here to make the request to get my forum name changed soon. I think I would share more under a different handle, as a few people irl know this one. I still want to get my healing story from Khan Black stage 1 down and on site here.
Wanted Black results: Man.
The verbal improvement is quite noticeable. I may not have cared to admit it, but I did struggle with conversation before. Now it just flows. I feel as though I had conversational skill stored in there and WB unlocked it, and I also feel continual improvements happening, adjusting as it goes. Pretty slick stuff. What else.
Facial skin improvement: I’ve had a form of facial dermatitis since I was 16. I’ve never been able to quite keep it under control and I’ve tried all sorts of things. WB has helped to greatly reduce the blotchy red skin. I don’t know how. Seems like magic.
The Magnetism: I can usually tell how my vibe and mood is by how many coworkers stop by to say hello. Since started WB, my area has been akin the ‘water cooler’ in an office. Surprisingly I don’t find myself too irritated by it, unless coworkers I dislike stop by. I also noticed a couple young ladies giving me the “Secret Smile” yesterday. I could tell they thought I was attractive in some fashion, be it my appearance or my energy. I’m flattered, and married, and old enough to be their father! lulz
Body shifting: Apart from my skin clearing up a lot, I think I look a bit different in the mirror. I still got Plenty of fat to lose but my face looks different. Jawline shit. Maybe it’s just the confidence boost. Either way its cool.
Did my daily reading on here. Malkuth’s Phenomenaut journal looks promising. Gotta say both that Phenomenaut: Genesis and POOLS are intriguing. I may end up nabbing both lists and make some minor adjustments. Phenomenaut: Genesis bears some commonality with my Self-Enhancement sub as is.
Hope you don’t mind, sir. 
3 min KBC3
1.75min WB
Things will be adjusting when KBC4 is released. I’m thinking KBC4/ALCH1/AsC Monday-ALCH1/(WB/BDLM custom)Wed- KBC4/Self Enhancement Friday.
Just need to pick up some form of Alchemist and await my ticket answer.
On the contrary, I’d be happy for the company.
Those Wanted Black results sound awesome.
Also, cool that you’re two stages ahead of me in Khan Black. What an amazing journey that is.
8/18 Morning Time!
Yesterday was BUSY. Today will be more of the same, students moving in and families needing fed. I made a LOT of product yesterday, matching my previous record.
A sub result, not sure what to credit however. Perhaps Khan Black? Maybe Wanted Black? Dunno.
My wife asked me if I wanted to have sex last night twice and I turned her down. Twice. I wanted to save my energy for the work weekend.
Makes sense.
Logical.
But I have never done that before. Never would. Why turn down sex? Its so fun! The release! WEEEE! Also, having addictive tendencies never helped, and in recovering from porn addiction I never thought I’d get to this point.
But I said no.
Miracles happen with SubClub!
1.5 min KBC3
3 min Self Enhancement Custom
8/19 Morning Time!
Well, a little bit of progress: I didn’t smoke near as much upon awaking as I usually do. Felt extra full of sexual energy when I woke up, the cannabis took the edge off for now. I may end the morning shower with cold water today, that will help as well.
Even so. The magnetism grows! I have experimented with this before; periods of retention. If I’m able to make it two weeks (for me, a mighty feat!), my interactions at work are vastly better, a “night vs day” comparison. With Khan Black Stage 3, yesterday felt like a 2 week stint, but I was only a week in. My department director did something to ensure my working comfort himself, which is some sort of wild result, as he openly admits he’s not that kind.
I would encourage everyone who makes it to Stage 3 of Khan Black to have a period of sexual retention and observe things, and compare it to a time of …normal releasing activity? It might sound daunting for some, but KB helps.
Oh. I was also reading other things on here today.
In doing so, the thought had crossed my mind: Man, I’d love personal replies from Saint and Fire too.
But then I recalled immediately that I’ve had some:
Yeah dude! Nice gratitude feeling after rereading those. Also, good links.
So have you been using Revelation of Mind more or less continuously since March 30?
What do you think about where it is taking you and about what your mind is doing with it?
What are the parts of your internal process of which you are currently most aware?
@RVconsultant Please change the title to
PizzaShaman’s journal - Ongoing
And please remove my former handle from my first post.
Many thanks for your time!!
8/21 Morning Time
No ! this morning. Massive headache following two releases, one last night. Was real fun tho.
It had been…9 days.
Yesterday was interesting. I decided to spend an hour in the stretcher in the morning. Might as well give BDLM a hand. I spied Malkuth’s post as I was putting on my shoes for work, so while I didn’t have time to reply, I had all day to think about it. I’ll post a reply next.
Had the “growing pains” sensation in PP after the stretch session yesterday! They lasted a long time, 4 hours or so. Perhaps I will invest more time in “taking action” to see what those sort of results could be.
KBC3+WB+9 days Retention=
An odd result. I am familiar with the change in my personal magnetism having done experiments with retention before. Yesterday, a returning customer/worker on their shift came by twice to see if I needed any additional items (This has never happened before). Later on, they asked what time I got off work tonight. Seemed pretty odd and bold to me. Bold because I’m sure I got 20 years on em, and odd because I’m fairly sure they are FtoM trans. We’ve spoken like twice before yesterday. Wtf SubClub? lol
Felt the stagnation yesterday, however. I need to be very mindful of entertaining thoughts because that’s how it got started for me. One awareness granted is that I would have no problems with retention as a single man. The very few times my wife has been away for multiple days, I had no problem with it whatsoever. Aw well. Stagnation cleared.
I’m uncertain if I will listen today. KBC4 should be out in 6 days, and I know I want to get going on that one. I’m not sure yet if I will spring for a custom with it right off the bat or give it a cycle “pure”. I am certain that KBC4 will be the cornerstone of my QTKS build, as having the control over my energy that it provides is life changing.
My weight loss is going well. I had a recent fat peak shortly after my anniversary, which prompted me to use what I know to start losing weight again. I’m down about 29 lbs. Still got a ways to go, but I feel that the subs are helping, in addition to my increase in workload. Fusion Optimized, Health Codex helping my diet, KBC helping energy, WB helping shifting. Retention has the side benefit of requiring less food as your body doesn’t have to replenish what is lost during release.
More or less. I was still hopping around with titles in April, but I settled with RoM when my custom arrived first week of May.
I think my mind is using it to take me to myself. Ha. That’s what comes up right this moment, Mr. Malkuth. 
I had started it with the hopes of finally finding “my purpose”, with the intent of using found purpose as a navigational marker for my life, as I have always felt adrift. I don’t think it’s going to come about that way, a BAM IN YOUR FACE “This is what you should have been doing with your life. Get started now” type moment. But there have been things. A coworker giving a suggestion as to what he could see me doing: Speaking. On what is up to me, but he could see me speaking in front of people.That’s the second universe nudge in that direction that I’ve had.
I am playing to my strengths now, as I understand them, and don’t try to be anything that I’m not. Human Design gives me a good structure to express my understanding, so I use that. I’m not designed to be a Leader of men. I don’t have that energy. I’m designed to Seek Knowledge and Bear Witness, and to use stories gained from both to educate and advise. When asked, (and until I learned some restraint, unasked) I can provide Judgement. I also have Mutative energy, so I carry Change (circumstance or situation, not coins! lol) wherever I go.
It’s a mixed bag.
Hmmm. Here’s one for you. This is recent too. I’ve been married twenty years, and I’ve always been mad with my wife for never initiating things with me, even though (now I know) she’s not designed that way (her words). We had another argument about it a couple days ago. I had the realization yesterday that I simply want to be asked and that’s my Type. So, I asked her: to return the ask, in the future when I inquire about coitus, and no more problems should result. Working theory.
I am gaining understanding and acceptance of myself simultaneously, and a greater sense of what is and isn’t for me.
Can you reword this please? I’m having trouble answering this. Please and thank you.
Similar to the world around me, the world inside of me seems to have varied topography and conditions. Some parts are sunny, some parts shrouded in shadow, some parts underwater, some accessible, some inaccessible.
There are usually some parts of my internal world and internal processes that are easier for me to be aware of at any given moment.
I’ll have times during which I’m most aware of anxiety and the fear of change. Then there’ll be other times when I feel very comfortably nostalgic, and am mainly aware of processing memories of the past. And on and on.
Was just asking, what is seeming most active and accessible inside of you and your mind at this time?
8/22 Morning Time!
Ended up listening to loops yesterday, after listening to the first two tracks of The Gateway Experience, Wave I. I had been considering a revisit to the GE, as my previous experience with it led to a big transformation in my life. I’ve been wondering if correlation is related to causality in this case. Anyway, the meditative states that result from listening, in my own experience, create fertile ground for subliminal reception. I’m not combining anything here, just using HemiSync sounds to get my brain ready before I listen to SubClub material. So. Did that, then my loops.
1.5min KBC3
1.5min BDLM
7min Ascension Chamber
Decided to skip DR:LD this week. I’ve decided to skip Friday listening and commit to a 4 day washout this week. Tomorrow’s listen will likely be 1 min WB and 1.5 min of Self Enhancement. Gotta say I love that custom. I feel it really helps me read people so much better.
Got a BDLM/WB custom going in another tab. It’s hard to resist using every module slot, but I’m trying to keep it small. WB is pretty dense as is, and with my other Custom in my stack and KBC4 coming, it would behoove me to keep this one more manageable, i think. So far…
BDLM Core
WANTED Black Core
Reignition
Soul Connection
Prevent Premature Ejaculation (Psssst! If this module could get upgraded to RoNW’s level of control, that would be supreme!)
Yggdrasil
DEUS
Omnidimensional
Got 2 more slots for a 10 slot build. I’m considering Dragon Tongue or Power Talk or Gentleman’s Speech for a voice/speaking mod slot. Picking up GS anyways for my wife’s custom so might just do that and save some coin, but the other two intrigue me! I’m also curious about the effects of Stop Porn and Masturbation module for myself now, in relation to helping prevent sexual stagnation. That might be better with KBC4 though. Oh well. I’ll figure it out and order soon so I can have it for next week’s listening.
Onto other things right now! I have a support ticket reply to share and a sage to reply to.
Thank you sir!
Your question tells me how vastly far ahead in personal progress you are compared to myself. You, the sage in a mountaintop abode. Myself, a journeyman, familiar with being in the foothills but not aware of the landscape. Imma do my best.
I’ve been very aware lately of how I’ve kept myself small. Hmmm. Kept my energy low, maybe that’s better put. I had always felt that fully expressed, I was too much. With the realization lately of self love, I’m not too much, so it’s been far easier to let my energy build up and be more of myself. I don’t need to keep myself down like I do with the cannabis, like I did with the porn and masturbation. It’s alright to be me, because then what is for me will appear and be distinct. That’s been playing into my relationship with my wife as well, because I get unsure at times if she’ll still want to be with …me.
I suppose I should pay more attention to HOW I am feeling at times. I usually write it off bad feelings as a neurochem imbalance due to whenever I released last, and try to ignore how I’m feeling, OR shunt the negative stuff as soon as possible. I can carry and transfer an emotional charge, and I dislike bringing stuff home from work. Mental note here to analyze the pop up thoughts more.
The other active stream I’m aware of currently is whatever speech stuff is in WB. Good Lord. I’ve had problems talking to people my entire life and that has largely vanished over the past month or so. Now, small talk is far, far easier. Witty answers and responses just pop in my head like magic. I no longer feel awkward about what I say , or if it arises, its immediately dismissed with a kind of ‘coaching analysis’ on how to do better. It’s really cool.
Thank you for the questions! Gets my mind working.
I find that when I turn down women, I say, “I really appreciate that, how about [insert another time]?”
That way it might buffer any feelings of rejection.
@RVconsultant If you could remove the 2 uses of my former handle in my 1st post, I would appreciate it so much. First line, last line.
And the image from post 17 please. Last mention of my old handle I can see.
Please and thank you!
It sounds like you have much more experience with that than I. Heh.
I wasn’t mean about it, if anyone is wondering. I pointed out I was in the middle of my busiest work week, and she understood. Even worked out in her favor as something came up that night and she needed time for it.
I will however be adding that line to the playbook. 
As always, thank you sir!
8/23 Morning Time!
1 min WB
1.5 min Self Enhancement custom
Custom order placed!
BDLM
WANTED: Black core
Prevent Premature Ejaculation
Soul Connection
Reignition
DEUS
Yggdrasil
Omnidimensional
Resisted the urge to load it up. Woooo! Gunna be SICK AF to get that name embed with those two cores. I’m pumped.
Wifey was willing last night but I was able to practice restraint. Going to need a lot of that this week. Per Human Design, the sun energy this week is good for boomboom. That’s usually where I end up. It was funny to learn how two of my kids were born 9 months after this week’s energy.
Heh. Let’s nip that ramble in the bud. Anywho, you have to start controlling your sexual energy if you wanna master it, so some practice this week is in order. I plan on going to the gym after work tonight, so any sort of sexual activity prior would take away from that. Past that, I know my wife has a very busy week ahead so it would help household harmony if I can practice control. It could be fun to see if she’ll come to me again. We’ll see.
Sexual Energy Transmutation is Simple. Just do something else and put your energy there. Notice I didn’t say easy…
Had a great day at work yesterday. I got out of active service for the evening meal and was able to prep ahead by myself. If I am able to listen to my music and sing while I work, I am a happy employee indeed. Good music gives good vibes, and good vibes go into good food.
Til next time!
Actually made it to the gym tonight. Realized it has been near 4 years since I was there last.
21:13 on the rowing machine
4k distance
I don’t know what kind of result that is, but after a ten hour shift I’ll gladly take it.
I’ll find out tomorrow what muscles I worked. Haha
8/25 Morning Time!
Normally I’d be listening today, but its a rest day, even though I want to listen. Must be the positive stuff in there. I get more of it in my life now then I used to, but it’s still comforting to have that ‘on tap’ so to speak.
I had a custom all planned out for my wife, got her approval on the modules and all. When I got to actually building it in the menu this morning, I stopped. She doesn’t run subs unless I remind her, so I’m feeling that these (subs) aren’t for her. At least, they don’t resonate with her enough for her to keep going on her own. She’s already got main titles l’ve gotten for her.
So, BOOM! QTKS payment saved instead, and now I got all the loot set aside for that. Sweetness! Now for KBC4 core to get released and get that custom sorted out. Having sexual energy mastery flow into my life? Yes please! I’ve been aiming for this for the past 3.5 years as a major course correction for my life. I’m already feeling much better and in possession of more control over my libido. I want to take it to a whole…notha…level.
I plan on going to the gym tomorrow for another rowing workout. Got a buddy meeting me there so I’m more likely to keep that appointment and do the work.
I am looking forward to my weekend off. Still got Alchemist to pick up over the next two days. I’m thinking i’ll get the core and see about upgrading the package later on. Should just be a support ticket to do so.
Oh. I noticed a HUGE difference in recon between 1 min and 1.75min of WB. Start small.
A wise man once wrote, “Instead of bemoaning your fate, strategize around your nature.”
Daily reminder!
8/26 Morning Time!
I’ve not been able to practice as much restraint this week as I originally intended. Instead of berating myself though, I’m celebrating that I skipped sex this morning so I can still have energy for the gym in a few hours. The rowing machine was/is an enjoyable workout. I want to get more experience with them before I purchase one for my home, even though my wife was asking me to get one for a bit last night. She has been a bit envious of my daughter’s recent weight loss, and now that I’ve been losing its getting a little worse. We’ll see what happens.
I had a moment of inspiration last night. KBC4+DvD+SMX as the tri core. Add BDLM and call it Dong Mastery. Oooooof. Recording it here for future use.
I believe I’ve noticed results from my Marriage Enhancement custom, specifically SPS: Cardiovascular System. Starting in my twenties, I have used all sorts of erectile enhancement pills, herbal and pharmaceutical. It progressed to the point where a 100mg viagra would be only moderately noticeable, both in desired and side effects. I’ve taken breaks in use before to see about resetting sensitivity there, but nothing remarkable.
I didn’t get to run Marriage Enhancement for too long before STKS came out and fucked my stack up, maybe a full cycle with some weekly listens after. It is in Terminus strength though, so I think it may have been running in there, deep down. While running KBC, I’ve tried to slow down on sex since stage 2, so I haven’t been taking any enhancers. I tried 50 mg of viagra the other night, and that dose that I may have barely noticed before hit me like a freight train. Couple hours later my wife caught the PP freight train and had a good ride. Seriously felt like I had taken one for the first time. It did however give me something to contrast my normal wood with, which is now quite healthy. I’m feeling SPS: Cardio has been doing some work. It might be the reason I’m digging rowing now.
I’ve also noticed another increase in length. Total gains are now .75 inches in length. I’ve yet to measure girth. That gain is taken from a bone pressed erect measurement. I don’t know if it’s all BDLM. Not to take away from it at all, but I had Male Enhancement in my previously mentioned custom. I’ve also lost around 30 lbs, which I know adds to usable length. Either way, thanks SubClub!