PizzaShaman’s journal - Ongoing

  • Lots of energy tonight! It’s been 3 days since the last …release so I’m aware that I will be feeling my energy build but GD! Much more than I would expect given my past experiences with periods of retention.

  • Instead of the usual feeling of energy building and being stuck about my nether regions it is definitely being distributed throughout my body! I am unused to this energized feeling in my limbs and torso. It feels good though. I feel strong.

  • The energy feels different than before. It feels cleaner, which is odd to say (to me). I suppose the “cleaner” feeling is due to the channel clean out.

I wonder if one should actively retain/abstain while on KBC st1? Perhaps it would be better to save retention for a later stage. :thinking: Maybe that’s weakness talking. I don’t know.

I’ve been considering a new idea: running ST2 concurrently with St1. My thought is that it would help me with all this energy I’m currently holding. Food for thought. I believe I could handle it.

I type slowly, and this entry is through my cellphone. It’s been a half hour or so in the typing. I still feel charged up. Like my mana bar is full! I look forward to powering a sub with this energy. I wonder what sort of results the testers got with Mogul and Sage Immortal? I wonder what sort of results I will get.

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6/2 Morning Time!

Let’s see…had some sexytime last night. Wife was feeling reeeeeally tired though so I decided to be done without finishing. She took notice and was trying to be affectionate as she fell asleep.

I woke up a little after 5am, feeling just JUICED! Like I slammed some pre workout. Tried unsuccessfully to fall back asleep, so I got up and smoked a bit. Caught up on the overnight thread updates here. The resource list for KBC is coming along I think. I realized yesterday that I have a great deal more to add and offer the community here on this subject. Just gotta get my full list compiled.
I have always had interest in …dual energy cultivation, so I have more information in that area. Secret tip for anyone reading my journal interesting in practicing semen retention while still enjoying sexual activity: Energy-Karezza by Dr. Stanley Bass. Practical advice and directions! Helped me a lot.

What would help me more? My wife getting over her need to have me go BOOM to validate the sex. Had sex after making coffee. Finished.

  • I was quite aware of the level of energy drain the orgasm and ejaculation took from me. I have been becoming more aware of such things in general
General energetic awareness details, possibly nofap triggering

I am not certain what sub to attribute it to, but recently I’ve been noticing that an ejaculatory orgasm from a blowjob drains my energy the most, followed by doggystyle, and missionary is the least draining. Energetic Development XI? Awakened Perception? I don’t know. My awareness has grown though.

But this is a little different. Today I was aware of HOW much was …I almost typed taken from me, but transferred is a better term. I know/feel like …70%ish of what I was feeling prior? I could bust another one or two before feeling completely drained. Kinda fun collecting these data points!

  • Even after BUST, my energy feels different. I still feel it circulating throughout my body. Not quite as much, however it still feels clean. Flowing smoothly.

I think I will hold off on a full scale retention experiment until I get to St3, although I wonder…since it is supposed to cultivate massive amounts of energy, and I already feel so much after 3 days of retention and less then a week on ST1, what will that be like? I will have to pair that with something else.

Still mulling over what to add to the current stack of one. I might just be mulling on it until stage 2. Oh well. Til next time!

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Belated Birthday Wishes to your son!

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6/3 Evening time!

More awareness of my energy today as a morning depletion’s energy loss expressed as some carpal tunnel in my left hand. My energy level feels low today. Still, while on the trail walk with the dog and my wife, I finally decided to give ST2 a loop today. I’ve invested time (over the past few years) into figuring out which herb blend works for me, so my sexual energy regeneration is fairly high, I feel. I’ve certainly felt my energy build up very quick this past week up until release, even accounting for my supplements. So in seeing what KBC can do solo, I wanted to get a loop of fortifying my energetic channels in my brain. Listened to that a couple hours ago. Gave ST1 a listen just now, and felt some odd pulsing in my left forearm.

My initial take away from my ST2 listen: I’m depleted. lol Naw I felt something, almost like a hardening in me, but I know my energy is very low so not much is circulating.

Had my wife read the sales copy of Symmetry: Helen of Troy and she expressed interest, so I hooked her up there. Her first listen is tonight. It will be replacing her Seductress/Regen custom in a stack with Genesis and LBFH.

I’m going to end up listening to differing subs this coming week. I know I will want to get some SMX in on Friday’s listening for that night’s fun. I want a loop of Genesis on Monday and a loop of my Self Enhancement custom on Wednesday. I want to have a micro-loop of my Terminus custom too! I gave RM:UW some pretty strong consideration. Hell, just journaling would engage that one on a daily basis.
Either way I’m still going to get at least 1 loop of ST1 every listening day.

Cycle Day 7:Listening Day
1x KBC ST2
1x KBC ST1

Guess it’ll be Ascension Monday this week.

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6/7 Morning Time!

Still dealing with some nerve pain crap from my left thumb down to my left elbow… I wish I knew what it was. It varies in intensity and sensation. I suppose I’ve been feeling recon the past couple days. I didn’t feel like journaling. I did listen on 6/5, gave myself a loop of KBC St1 and a loop of Genesis. No AC listen, just wasn’t feeling it.

I’m finishing up my loop of ST1 for today right now, and I’m going to follow with a loop of my ME/RoM custom. Friday’s listen will be ST1 and the Terminus custom.

I’d type more but my hand hurts. Still, no update is an update, as they say.

Cycle Day 11: Listening Day
1xKBC ST1
1xSelf Enhancement Custom ZP

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6/13 Morning time!

While interesting, I don’t wish to relive the past few days. Too much drama and emotion in my house between my wife and daughters. I foresaw this happening, and I did offer a warning, but “do what you want, and pay the price”. Le sigh.

Spent Friday through Sunday morning at the beach, a few hour drive away. It was pleasant enough, although I am not a beach guy myself and ‘senior week’ was going on. My wife likes to lay out in the midday sun, whereas I find it draining. We did get to see a group of dolphins swim by, that was cool.

Better get my loops recorded here while I’m thinking of it.

6/9 Cycle Day 13
1x BDLM (10 minutes)
1x Marriage Enhancement Custom (5 minutes)

6/11 Cycle Day 15
1xKBC1
1xBDLM

And that BDLM loop is where I had …manifestation? Expression of Free Will aura? I posted this over on the BDLM thread…(and small victory right now, figured out post linking! hahaha)

To expand: I was just laying in my bed listening to muh subs. I didn’t ask for any sort of action in the morning. It just happened. I will say that my wife initiating things is EXTREMELY rare. So how did it happen? I don’t know. Either way, thanks Sub Club!

Today is:
Cycle Day 17
1xKBC1
1xBDLM
1xAC

OH! OH! Lest I forget! (typing while I listen!)
Time for AC! Lets see if we can boost the subs for this coming week!

I’m likely going to take my cycle out a few days longer as I had added in BDLM on a regular basis. Maybe to the 21st. That would be 2 more listening days before a washout lasting until July.

I’m noticing the increased sensitivity to my own energy. While at the beach, there was sexual activity once a day, and after Sunday I felt reaaaallly drained. Unusual. In the past, and I mean before KBC, once a day would be no problem, it wouldn’t faze me. Now is quite different. I have been aware of energy loss for a while, although not to this extent, but now I don’t want to waste the energy busting a nut. It’s just a waste. I know my wife likes it when I finish, but I feel it’s a validation of sorts for her. I get that, I suppose. To move to a relationship spot where such a thing is not a concern, and we can be together on a daily basis would be ideal for me. Hmm. Time will tell.

I’ve also spent a bit a time contemplating a QTKS custom. I like to experiment, and that sounds right up my alley. What to invest in though? What modules/cores would I want for something long term and transformative? Lots of possibilities. BDLM/DivineD/KBCst4? RoM/RoS? Good thing I have plenty of time.

Losing focus. Guess it’s time to bring this to a close.

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6/16 Morning time!

Did my loops yesterday. Went with BDLM first this time, so…
6/15 Cycle Day 19
1xBDLM
1xKBC1

I had an experience 2 nights ago that was wild. KBCst1 did some work; brought up THE biggest trauma for me. I was able to deal with it for the first time, and now it is gone from my mind completely. I still have some lingering emotional charge, but compared to before (if I would ever deign to look inward and look at the issue) it’s faint or weak and as it’s felt, it’s released and gone forever.

I made a journal entry of sorts that night, wanting to get it down while it was fresh. The live notation, if you will. I think I will share it here at some point in the near future in some fashion, if only so people can know how powerful and effective Stage 1 is for healing.

BDLM news: After my loop yesterday, I’ve had sort of an ache down there. It feels like a growing pain sort of ache, but I’m 42!? What magic is this? It has persisted into today as well. Just got done with 1 hr on the device, and I’m aware of my starting measurements, so we will see how things progress. For science!

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Just like that boom!! Great result :metal: :heart_eyes:

Goddamit, I will never catch you even though I’m just 3 years behind :grin:

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Going to give Divine Diamond a spin tonight!

Should be fun

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7/26 Morning Time!

I’m currently in washout until August 1st, having finished a cycle of KBC:St2 and BDLM, seasoned with some DR:LD and WB as they hit the scene. Khan Black Stage 2 didn’t give me much at first, but I believe it was because I severely depleted myself over my 20th wedding anniversary vacation with my wife. After getting back home, it was way easier to ignore the chaser effect brain chem release I get after finishing. Weak Chaser effect = able to not pursue more sex = retain more energy, which was MUCH easier. I recall the feeling or knowing that while my energy channels were being fortified, they NEEDED energy flowing and heating to finish that work! To harden the crucible, I suppose. End result is that over the past month, my sex drive has been far easier to Control, which is quite welcome.

Khan Black has been great so far. I look forward to 8/1 and my start of St 3, and the beginning of that experience. I’m liking KBC so much that, barring some out-of-the-blue BS that I can’t even think of at the moment, I’m putting Stage 4 in my QTKS build! That answer came to me a few days ago. The thought of me speaking to myself and helping myself out with this subject? Feels like an ultimate hack! Heh. That aside, (Theory time!) the energy generation aspect of KBC (retention energy) would be boosted (from the power of the QTKS build). It appears that QTKS boosts (based on the reports I’ve read on here) and helps the rest of your stack, and KBC can already provide energy for other subs (Mogul and Sage Immortal per the copy). I expect the energy available and (at a loss for the word here)rate of transfer/energy channel size? would be boosted as well, providing a greater amplification of results for the other subs in the stack. KBC would cover the two main guidelines I set for myself with the start of my QTKS theorycrafting: It needs to be so beneficial on its own that I would run it for long periods of time anyways, and it needs to be able to boost/help/amplify any other sub in the stack.

What else…well there’s plenty yeah, but I want to get this down:

MICROLOOPS ARE A GIFT FROM GOD!

So 2 weeks back, I was reading on here (as I do everyday, so much good information here!) when I came across a mention of microloops yet again. I’d experimented with shorter listening times in the past, but digging through a few threads I decided to go even lower in listening time then I had before, capping myself to 90 seconds on all my subs.

Holy Shit.

Within a couple days any sort of recon disappeared from my life, and results started pouring in. Running my Self Enhancement Custom provided immediate results (people asking me for advice, a greater sense of calm) as did BDLM ( two BJs, one freely offered!, change in expression on my wife’s face upon entry, hanging lower and thicker (sorry Salchichon, no measurements til next month :wink: )

Next cycle I will start with 5 minutes of each on their first listen, but go to 1:30 for the rest. I expect good things.

Felt good to get an entry in today.

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Happy anniversary!

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Am gonna be 42 next month so this is good news. Hope you get the results you desire in terms of the D.

Your other results are crazy good too. Awesome to hear, man!

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7/28 Morning Time!

Just a quick one today. I wanted to thank @Leandros for his discussion of Hondurian Sea Moss and the link he provided. Ordered some myself and have been taking it for about a week now. I feel amazing!

Fell into temptation yesterday and picked up RoNW. Killed that washout early with 1.5 minutes of KBC3, 1.5 min WB, 1.5 min RoNW. (Disclaimer: I make my own decisions and am responsible for the consequences.)

Lots of attention from my wife last night! A “top ten” BJ at bedtime! Woke up feeling energetic enough to desire a round of mattress tag and went for it.

Still feeling good after that expenditure of energy! KBC3 is doing it’s thing. Love this sub.

Til next time!

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:+1::+1::+1::+1::+1::+1::+1::+1::+1::+1::+1:

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8/1 Morning Time!

Today will be a rest day. :smiley: I think I have found my current limit regarding # of subs and microloops.

Monday was interesting! Backstory:

Sunday morning: In my own mental gymnastics, thoughts about Alchemist came up, as part of how I would define myself now (a mental alchemist) and what sub would support that. I looked over the sales copy and began to think about it for myself. I had seen a few posts here and there, but I couldn’t recall reading a journal on that on yet. I freely admit I didn’t use the search function at all, I just spoke to myself about finding one out loud and went to something else.

Church was interesting. Actually, on this subject in particular, a noticeable module result here.

EMPATH- Prior to running this module, the sensation of feeling the congregation’s emotions during a church service was overwhelming. I would have to take an anti-anxiety pill well before leaving for church to ensure that I would not be affected. Now I have no need of the pill; while my awareness is the same, or even better, I am able to keep all that emotional energy…out.

My wife was singing as part of the worship service, so she had a copy of the monthly outline of sermons. This Sunday, the pastor was to speak on blessings in the context of the Psalms. He started his sermon, and began speaking about precatory prayers: Prayers of curses on God’s enemies. Listing of such Psalms. I was aware of such things, but had not heard it named before. I don’t much agree with it either. While I can understand why one would, I suppose, in my thinking there is a heavy price for such a thing. Bad juju!

Anyway. Most of the sermon was on this subject. I was surprised, as was my wife. I toss it around my head for parts of the day, still surprised he spoke on this matter. I discussed it with a friend over some DiabloIV. It wasn’t until I searched it for myself that I find the pastor had been mispeaking. The correct term is imprecatory. Still an odd subject for the day.

Now to Monday morning. Looking over the forum here during the morning constitutional, the thread title Spontaneous Expressions catches my eye and invites me to click. I read over the first post and see that it is …an Alchemist journal by none other than @Malkuth ! I’ve already resonated with this gentleman’s posts, so finding exactly what I had been looking for in his words felt like a gift from the Universe!

It got even weirder a few posts in when I find a lengthy post dedicated to a Psalm that had been mentioned in Sunday’s service.

This topic, what I was looking for and it being delivered, these are not coincidences! Very interesting though.

@Lion came through for me too. I was just thinking about Stage4 modules in QTKS, particularly QL. Your question over on QTKS thread got me the answer to that thought. Thanks brother!

Odd how thinks work sometimes.

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Hey bro. You’re welcome :pray:.

Yes, you can’t go wrong with @Malkuth 's advice.

Personally he has provided very good advice to me, all measured and sagacious. Not to mention all the other members he has helped here.

One of my favorite modules. Being an Empath myself, am usually overwhelmed in group situations or after talking to others and end up having to spend tons of alone time recharging like a dead battery lol.

But after running Renaissance Man (which has empath scripting) and also having a custom or two with the Empath module in it, people are much more tolerable to be around haha.

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Quick note here while its fresh in my head:

Got inspired for some custom crafting, throwing something together here in Notepad. Went to check Yazooneh’s QTKS journal to peep his module list. In reading past that, his post on his first listen…Recognition of bad childhood programming seems to be something that pops up with QTKS. I recall AlexanderGraves making a mention of that as well in a recent post.

Easy recognition of bad habit or pattern origin helps immensely with the shift, imo. What a gift!

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8/4 Morning Time!

Khan Black. What a gift! Stage 3 is going well. I’m about a week in and thoroughly enjoying my purchase! The sense of calm and this newfound level of control over my energy is wonderful. Quite the difference from before, this new way of being I feel I have now.

This week, I worked in 2 ninety second loops of the first custom I created. It had been intended to function like Khan Black, but more on the willpower side of retention. It was an intuit, so we’ll see if anything comes of it.

I came up with a working model of a QTKS build for myself. At least, it’s a start. Maybe not the best start. My energy lies with finishing things, not beginning them.

I believe that I would be better off enhancing energy that I possess compared to attempting to cover a perceived weakness. One strength that I am quite aware of is my desire and pursuit of knowledge, particularly in the realm of what can be done with the mind. I feel that my QTKS build should be one that I would not want to replace in my stack for a good long while, if ever. So it will need to be supportive of that goal, in addition to enhancing whatever else I listen to.

No cool working title. I’m kinda boring in that sense.

QL4
KBC4
DR:LD------->AsC CORE?
MINDSEYE

ARDENT LIGHT
DOMINION
EMPATH
AWAKENED PERCEPTION

DEUS
PRAGYA
ENERGETIC DEVELOPMENT XI
VOID OF CREATION

MIMISBRUNNR
YGGDRASIL
MERGER OF WORLDS
EVENTIDE

ALEXANDRIA ------>MASTERMIND?
INFORMATICON ---->FAITH UNYIELDING? ARCANE MASTERY?
TREASURE FINDER
STRONGER

My recent reading of SaintSovereign saying the modules are crafted from the main titles was helpful knowledge. With that in mind, I wonder if Alexandria and Informaticon would be covered by QL4.

Dunno. Working notes.

Outta time!

One of these days I’ll learn how to embed videos here.

8/8 Morning Time!

Had the realization last night that I fucking love myself. Just like that. I’m pretty sure that’s a big result. It’s certainly a shift from before. I know I can credit SubClub (Thank you, Fire and SaintSovereign!) but I’m not sure which sub. I’m thinking WB. I’ve noticed I’ve had similar issues/problems/thoughts about my wife compared to Palpatine and AlexanderGraves. Funny, for me, I’m feeling like I’ve been getting healing from Wanted (previous listens) and WB now. Generational Trauma healing. Dad was an accident baby, the baby that forced Grandpa and Grandma to get married in the 50’s. He wasn’t Wanted, and he treated me the same way. So my lifetime of feeling unWanted is finally going away internally. The change within is altering my relationship status quo however. I know my wife can sense it. Sigh.

QTKS Theorycrafting Time

KBC4
QL4
ALCH4
SAGEIMM

I bet those bad boys would help me to pull some wicked cool info outta the Ether!