9/3 Morning Time!
Yesterday did not go to plan. How does it go? “Man plans, God laughs”?
Woke up early with a massive headache and nausea. Threw up twice. Called work 4 times before someone answered and I was able to be out sick. Threw up twice more. Smoked and slept until 2ish in the afternoon. Finally had a protein shake at 3:30ish and was able to eat solid food later on last night.
I’m not sure. I don’t think it was overload. I half believe it was a sub manifestation. It was very out of the blue for me to get ill like that, especially since I’ve been taking strides to be more healthy lately. I know, what kind of sub manifestation would get someone sick right? Don’t make any sense there, PizzaShaman!
Yesterday, early evening I started getting some messages from my daughter, asking me what happened at work since an email had gone out ‘talking about an incident’ in my area of employment. Mid afternoon, a couple of my coworkers got into a verbal altercation which escalated to a brief physical one, which resulted in the police being summoned. Had I been present at work, it is highly likely that I would have involved myself to diffuse the situation, whatever it was. So I was spared that by being off sick.
Found out when I woke up that a good friend at work was involved in that situation. (Like my wife found out before I did…jeez) I suppose I will start to see the fallout today, as I’m going in to work with this (now)head cold. Sudafed for the win!
I need this week to go according to plan regarding my work schedule. I want a nice padded paycheck for later on in the month for the rower!! Although, thinking just now, I may try to see if I can magic one up via Ascension Chamber. Can’t hurt to put some thought energy there.
Even with feeling a bit ill, I feel full of energy! Today is day 6 since last release. It is an odd juxtaposition, body feeling weak and weary yet energized. I am uncertain if I want to keep this little streak going or release some pressure tonight and start anew. I find that I have a far easier time with retention when my wife is on her period, and according to the tracker that’s 9 days out. If I let loose tonight and start fresh, I could get a 2 week streak in, easy I think.
Or I could say No. Keep my energy for my own use. I want to get to the gym tomorrow since I couldn’t yesterday and it was closed today. Half hour or so on the rower will take the edge off the energy level.
Might end up being a coin flip.
Sigh. If I was single, retention would be easy. Well, now. No wife in the picture ever, I would likely still be a porn addict. But that’s a story for another time.
Switching tracks: One (Of the many!) things I like about SubClub is the emphasis on Action! Psych-K was/is great for precise subconscious adjustments, but it falls short, IMO, because of the lack of weight placed on Action. “Consider” an action step vs. Take Action!
Maybe an Action Guide would be handy for my fellow SubClubbers? I saw one around here before. I believe it was written by Simon for EoG stage 1, a solid plan of steps one could/should take to get the most out of that stage, and a guideline for when you’d be ready to move on to the next stage. Sometimes its easy to figure out. KBC for instance! Feel free to disagree, but I think the first action step is to decide to retain your essence.
I don’t know too much about what steps people should take for each sub, but I know that amongst the community, it would be possible to craft a list of action steps for each sub (or stage in a multi stager) to get noobs started. Noobs was written with love, there. 
I’m still noobish too.
Motivated to create some goals today. Here goes:
Current Continuing Knowledge Goal: Find out what SubClub products are capable of based on personal experience.
Short Term Knowledge Goal: Construct list of desired subs, prioritize and plan usage. Finalize and order KBC4 custom when core is available. That name embed is NICE.
Current Continuing Mastery Goal: Obtain complete mastery and control over my sex drive.
Short Term Mastery Goal: Make it to the neurochemical/hormonal calm period after 2 weeks or so of retention. Not feel like I’m fiending for some ooey gooey.
Current Continuing Fitness Goal: Get a rower’s build. Lean and strong.
Short Term Fitness Goal: 3 more workouts by next weekend off.
Current Continuing Family Goal: Develop better relationship with my son.
Short Term Family Goal: I’ll have to plan some things for us to do together. We can exercise as an activity when I get the rower at the end of the month. He just wants me to talk to him. Sometimes I don’t know how to. We did have a good talk night before last. Set aside time for that.
Kinda wanna cram RM:UW in a custom with KBC4. I feel I could use the boost. It takes me so long to type up these entries! Oh well. Don’t force it, PizzaShaman. That ends poorly, you know that.
I am intrigued. Although, I’ve done this sort of thing before. Not with subs but other life purpose explorations. Another answer of “your life purpose is to experience life” would be quite irritating. 
