I’m pleased because I’m not really experiencing recon with new HS yet.
With the current stack I’m running, my sex log spreadsheet shows sex has went from once every 11 days to once every 8.5 days. Limited number of days points still (since I only started this log in December ‘23). So each “event” still has a pronounced effect on that metric.
That’s why I’m keeping Heartsong in the above stack consideration.
I watched an ep of Bones the other day I have seen several times, it’s a good one.
But it hit me different this time.
It’s one where there are 4 girls on the volleyball team who get pregnant as part of a pregnancy pact.
All pregnant by the same nerdy guy. They just wanted babies, they knew he would “help” them and not wanna be involved, etc.
The last scene is Booth telling him he needs to man up, regardless what the girls say, since he’s got 3 babies on the way (one of the girls was killed).
But it hit me suddenly, maybe from Ascension and/or Primal…
it hit me that “being a man” isn’t about being a certain prescribed way. it’s about just acting in congruence with your values, whatever they are.
It’s about deciding what kind of man you want to be, and acting that way.
Values aren’t immutable. You (I) can decide the values I want to internaize and externalize (act on).
It’s cool when the subs bring up revelations like that.
I’ve got my next stack planned out. Got one more listen day on my current stack.
It comes out to 29 days exactly, so Leap February is perfect.
This is the stack that got my $353 power bill forgiven by the power company after doing 3 minutes of each just one time. It was later that day we got the email about the $353.
It’s just updated now with the latest versions of the titles where possible.
I went back and forth on whether do to R.I.C.H. or Nouveau R.I.C.H.
I almost went with R.I.C.H. because “What could I possibly disrupt???”
But I suspect that is just stemming from a fear of the unknown, or a wealth ceiling belief of “I’m not good enough” or “I don’t have anything to contribute”
So going with NR to let DRP and DRLD help me work through that as NR brings out anything that needs demolished.
| Number of Days total: | 29 | |
|---|---|---|
| Day | Date | The plan |
| 1 | 2/1/2024 | Genesis:Mogul (7 Minutes), Nouveau Rich (5 Minutes), Emperor Black (3 Minutes), DR: Phoenix (1 Minute), DR: Limit Destroyer (30 Seconds) |
| 2 | 2/2/2024 | Rest |
| 3 | 2/3/2024 | Nouveau Rich (7 Minutes), Emperor Black (5 Minutes), DR: Phoenix (3 Minutes), DR: Limit Destroyer (1 Minute), Genesis:Mogul (30 Seconds) |
| 4 | 2/4/2024 | Rest |
| 5 | 2/5/2024 | Emperor Black (7 Minutes), DR: Phoenix (5 Minutes), DR: Limit Destroyer (3 Minutes), Genesis:Mogul (1 Minute), Nouveau Rich (30 Seconds) |
| 6 | 2/6/2024 | Rest |
| 7 | 2/7/2024 | DR: Phoenix (7 Minutes), DR: Limit Destroyer (5 Minutes), Genesis:Mogul (3 Minutes), Nouveau Rich (1 Minute), Emperor Black (30 Seconds) |
| 8 | 2/8/2024 | Rest |
| 9 | 2/9/2024 | DR: Limit Destroyer (7 Minutes), Genesis:Mogul (5 Minutes), Nouveau Rich (3 Minutes), Emperor Black (1 Minute), DR: Phoenix (30 Seconds) |
| 10 | 2/10/2024 | Rest |
| 11 | 2/11/2024 | Genesis:Mogul (7 Minutes), Nouveau Rich (5 Minutes), Emperor Black (3 Minutes), DR: Phoenix (1 Minute), DR: Limit Destroyer (30 Seconds) |
| 12 | 2/12/2024 | Rest |
| 13 | 2/13/2024 | Nouveau Rich (7 Minutes), Emperor Black (5 Minutes), DR: Phoenix (3 Minutes), DR: Limit Destroyer (1 Minute), Genesis:Mogul (30 Seconds) |
| 14 | 2/14/2024 | Rest |
| 15 | 2/15/2024 | Emperor Black (7 Minutes), DR: Phoenix (5 Minutes), DR: Limit Destroyer (3 Minutes), Genesis:Mogul (1 Minute), Nouveau Rich (30 Seconds) |
| 16 | 2/16/2024 | Rest |
| 17 | 2/17/2024 | DR: Phoenix (7 Minutes), DR: Limit Destroyer (5 Minutes), Genesis:Mogul (3 Minutes), Nouveau Rich (1 Minute), Emperor Black (30 Seconds) |
| 18 | 2/18/2024 | Rest |
| 19 | 2/19/2024 | DR: Limit Destroyer (7 Minutes), Genesis:Mogul (5 Minutes), Nouveau Rich (3 Minutes), Emperor Black (1 Minute), DR: Phoenix (30 Seconds) |
| 20 | 2/20/2024 | Rest |
| 21 | 2/21/2024 | Genesis:Mogul (7 Minutes), Nouveau Rich (5 Minutes), Emperor Black (3 Minutes), DR: Phoenix (1 Minute), DR: Limit Destroyer (30 Seconds) |
| 22 | 2/22/2024 | Rest |
| 23 | 2/23/2024 | Nouveau Rich (7 Minutes), Emperor Black (5 Minutes), DR: Phoenix (3 Minutes), DR: Limit Destroyer (1 Minute), Genesis:Mogul (30 Seconds) |
| 24 | 2/24/2024 | Rest |
| 25 | 2/25/2024 | Emperor Black (7 Minutes), DR: Phoenix (5 Minutes), DR: Limit Destroyer (3 Minutes), Genesis:Mogul (1 Minute), Nouveau Rich (30 Seconds) |
| 26 | 2/26/2024 | Rest |
| 27 | 2/27/2024 | DR: Phoenix (7 Minutes), DR: Limit Destroyer (5 Minutes), Genesis:Mogul (3 Minutes), Nouveau Rich (1 Minute), Emperor Black (30 Seconds) |
| 28 | 2/28/2024 | Rest |
| 29 | 2/29/2024 | DR: Limit Destroyer (7 Minutes), Genesis:Mogul (5 Minutes), Nouveau Rich (3 Minutes), Emperor Black (1 Minute), DR: Phoenix (30 Seconds) |
I just looked out the window at work.
I see all these people driving. Even on a Sunday the roads are packed. I got depressed watching all the traffic. Weird.
Felt like futility. Like “what’s the point of all this?”
My new stack starts mañana.
I’ve sorta got precon already 
. Probably since the stack starts up tomorrow.
Precon in the form of FOMO. Wanting to rethink my stack and run PN and the dick juicer.
I’ll save that for another cycle though. Or a custom.
Sigh.
I had a dream about Aardvark (search that word in posts by me for details)
Dreamed wife and I moved to a new house somewhere (which I HAVE been thinking about).
And Aardvark and her husband lived in the house next door. Which I didn’t know before moving.
We were both pleasantly surprised. Which wouldn’t likely happen IRL. She blocked me on everything years ago.
In the dream, we both seemed to want each other. And at one point end up making out in her kitchen while her guy was showing my wife around their house.
Short dream. But damn. With all the work I’ve done, I thought I was over her. Annoying.
It has been a long time since I even thought about her. So probably just some tiny bit left to learn from and eradicate.
Possibly bloom from the previous stack. Starting my new stack later today.
First sub day done. Ran it about half hour ago. Already feeling twinges of sadness. Just sitting with it to see where it goes.
Had this in my car since moving out of my old house in August. Finally felt like a good time to do it.
My last one until I buy more. Get soooooome.
Can’t believe I’m awake already.
I don’t usually wake up this early on days off.
Usually sleep longer.
I’m talking I went to bed at like 1am or 2am. Set an alarm for 11.
Up at like 5:45.
No dream recall AFAIR.
Definitely the stack. Productivity focus is my guess.
I was very disappointed in this book. It’s basically an insurance sales letter.
The only people getting rich off of insurance are the insurance companies, brokers, and agents. Insurance has a place in estate planning, but I don’t know a single person using it to get wealthy.
Interesting rotation. I’ll be keeping an eye on this.
Yesterday was Day 3. ran the day’s stack.
No recon whatsoever. I had the day off, and things I wanted to do for a project. Didn’t get into it immediately in the day. Watched some TV. Relaxed af. No “MUST DO IT NOW!” productive hit like other stuff does.
Once I decided to get busy, however, BOOM! Got some major work done on the project. Had to FORCE myself to bed so I’d get SOME sleep before getting up for work today. Basically about 4 hours and 45 mins for sleeping. I could’ve stayed up all night if I’d had the day off today though.
This stack must be doing something.
I seriously just forgot I don’t have any useable money until next paycheck.
I say useable because I’ve got $100 I stashed for when I’m ready to buy my next custom.
And I have that $57 in my investment account.
And another nearly $200 in my automated expenses account.
But got $0 left for dispensible money though.
And I was shocked just how when I remembered. Like “must make money ASAP!”
The sensation is like if a millionaire went to sleep and woke up in the body of a homeless person or a paycheck-to-paycheck employee. And they are shocked “This is UNACCEPTABLE! Must get busy and get my capital built up!”
I have a spreadsheet I made a few years ago that was for keeping me on a schedule of pushups. Didnt finish the sheet, since other stuff came up.
“Decided” today to revisit that. got it set up now where I put my starting number, the percentage I want to increase my target for each pushup day, and how many rest days between push-up days. All dynamic.
I then set up a script (Google Apps Script). Each day at an arbitray time (let’s say 3AM) it’ll check the sheet to see if today is a rest day or a pushup day. If it’s a rest day, it’ll skip and do nothing.
If it’s a pushup day, It injects a new calendar event complete with popup notifications to tell me how many pushups to do for the day.
Tested it. it all works. Pushups start tomorrow.
I’m on a productive high and I don’ t know if/when it’ll quit. Before, I was paralyzed by having too many ideas/projects I want to do, and no idea where to start.
Ever since starting this stack rotation, I’m more able to just say “fuck it” and dive in on whatever strikes my fancy at the time. Last night was a few evening-into-early-morning hours doing the pushup spreadsheet/script.
Tonight I’m gearing up to talk to ChatGPT and work out a short, quick plan to learn to make a basic web app to understand that more.
I’m feeling a bit of emotional undercurrent. It isn’t sadness. It can best be described as eagerness, optimism, focus. I’m just spitballing words to try and capture it.
It feels good.
lesson learned today: Just because someone is former Marine Force Recon doesn’t mean they know how to fix a car.
dude here needed a jump he thought.
battery dead. and issues with fuel pump.
he already had the engine cover off, when jumping didn’t work I used my key to pop open the bleed valve on the fuel rail. zero pressure
I did that because the engine was cranking fine , it just wan’t firing/starting.
I said “No pressure in the fuel rail means either the fuel pump isn’t pumping or the line is 100% obstructed. probably the pump”
and he was all “Nah, it was running earlier”
so I said we should check the fuel pump fuse.
“I did that already. I put in one of the other identical ones from ABs or something”
so I let that go
we ended up even going to get gas in my little can in case his 1/4 tank of gas let the pump overheat like can happen
finally after a lot of back and forth he opened up the fuse box and showed me the RELAY he swapped out"
he didn’t know the difference between a fuse and a relay
then he was all “This truck doesn’t have a fuse for it. Just the big box thing”
I found on the diagram which fuse is for the fuel pump, thank you very much.
he pulled it out and half of it was fucking charcoal
all black. burned and melted lol
pop another 25A fuse in it and it started right up.
real lesson learned: Trust my own judgment more
the fact his battery was dead tells me one thing
he just tried for Cthulhu knows how long to crank it.
however many times.
without adequately troubleshooting
He reminded me of when my kids were on the Wii and the game froze, and they turned the tv off and back on
he was seriously doing all sorts of weird shit, putting tape over one of the evap system inlet holes…thinking it was just getting too much air “in there” because of the leak
this dude ran his battery down by just trying over and over without thinking two seconds about what the issue could be.
and he’d mentioned how he’s former marine force recon, and another bit about how he used to run the “entire area for” some fill in the blank organization
the way he talked reminded me of that Jesse ventura wanna be I mentioned a few years ago at the water company
the guy who kept saying “There’s no way I used THOUSANDS of gallons of water in a month”
THOUSANDS the way ventura would say it
same demeanor. boisterous and sorta loud to get their point known
RDF
I’m pissed at myself for wasting 90 minutes on this when the fuse would’ve had it going in minutes.
I’m kinda thinking my stack manifested this experience to teach me a lesson about myself
I was reading older entries in my journal and got back to this post. Kinda want to revisit that stack soon. Though I suppose in place of S&S I’d use IrresistiBILL, and might use EWTP in place of PCC. Though both would still work well in that spot.
EDIT: I suppose Wanted Black would be a good drop-in relacement for Wanted.
I just re-read this. It hits.
so they hired 3 new remote workers at the company I’m currently employed with. Meaning I can finally (soon) get off the 6am opening shift. I’ll be getting 6 more hours per week as a result, on Mondays I’ll be working until closing (5PM) so the Tier 2 lady doesn’t have to be the only one taking calls and can do her T2 duties more.
And as I’m journaling about this, I realize this all coincides with the timing of staring this stack last week.
Ran today’s stack.
Day 9
Laying in bed, doing my “self-hypnosis” body zonk. I actually have 5 minutes of silence before the playlist kicks on. Enough time to do the body zonk and get the mind switched over to sanctuary mode.
It started playing, and the first sub for today was 7 mins of DR: Limit Destroyer.
somewhere during that, I am suddenly in what seems like a large supply closet. Spooge’s lady (from Breaking Bad. Dale Stuckey) was in there, too. We’re both just standing in there, and she seems to notice I’m in there with her. I as revolted at first (gotta see the show to understand why).
She’s like “Oops. I get it. I’ll leave.” Opens up the door to exit the closet, and I’m suddenly like “Wait! Don’t leave. Come back. You’re a part of me. C’mere”
And she comes back in, kinda uncertain. I shut the door and say “You’re part of me. I gotta accept you.” then hug her.
She melts into me.
That scene fades. There is other imagery but that’s the only thing I really remember any details about.
