Collectively more than 8 months
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Khan Stage 1
Like a terrible teacher thatās constantly nagging you to get things done. A teacher thatās really pushing you to come out of your comfort zone. A teacher that is constantly making your life a mess. One task after the other. Anything you do is not good enough. No time to sit and look.
Thatās a brief summary of stage 1
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With all the clearing on stage one that youāve done, I suspect AM, Mogul, Emperor, and stage 2 would be a hell of a lot easier to do.
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Hey bro sorry I havenāt been on discord. When do you plan on graduation to that infamous stage 4?
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@pacman
pacmam
pacman
Stage 2 
Stage 2
Stage 2
Iām just messingā¦ I know youāll know when your ready for it, but very excited/curious to see how the next stage transition goes
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This is what we have all been looking for 
.
Emperor and Khan are in the same category. So yeah foundation guys 
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Another one.
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part of my experience with khan 1.
In the first week I walked down a narrow hallway to my desk, right out of the kitchen corner came a small plump woman with a flat nose and curly hair, she tries to taunt me a lot and embarrasses me. She is like this. She thinks Iām a nice guy.
When she arrived I could already see from her (letās call her S) body that she wanted to bully. I felt so much anger rise that I quickly walked to the swinging doors. As she followed me, I grabbed the door and slammed it in her faceā¦ atleastā¦until the door almost touched her face - then I stopped it and all she got was strong stream of air in her face, enough to know that if I would let go she would have hit the ground. I was boiling with anger and I was done with her. Iām sure she felt it.
My manager said: Are you slamming the door ???!!!
me: Yes I said loudly, in S her face!!!
me: kept looking fierce at S
Some colleagues looked at my manager and I saw my manager shrug. I never expected to stand up for myself like that. Felt so good!
In one of my breaks I saw a woman, wearing black pants with beautiful ass and dark hair. I think she was turkish, it felt like my body was automatically walking towards her full of desire. She was looking out and turned around. I asked her if it was her birthday (someone was having a treat). All I did was keep smalltalk, while all i wanted to say how gorgeous she looked and that I wanted to kiss her. Instead of that I felt anxious to speak it outā¦I wonder how that would have ended, at least would have made it much more exciting.
Other time3, I mocked a female colleague because I thought she was so weird. I told some friends (colleagues) of mine what strange things she says:
I was sitting at my desk with a hot thermostat and some smoke came out (hot water).
She blurted and yelled out : are you smoking a joint??!?
me: āwtf faceā noā¦ āfrownā
She: oh okay (confused) and quickly went to talk to another colleague
I told other colleagues what she was saying and everyone made a frowing / that is weird expression. Then she tried to get me back and said I was naive even though I waved it off. When I got home I felt really shitty. because I knew on a level that I was always unnessearly nice. I see how khan can make one so polarizing.
Is this what you also experience at khan st1? Over a period of 8 months? If so shit man
@pacman Iām curious, whatās one of your most shitties moments?
khan st1 has brought me a lot of good but also a lot of ugly man
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One of my shitty moments of stage 1? Nah think itās more like every moment on stage 1 is shitty.
Very similar to your experience I have had that a lot of times. There were times that I go into a situation and then when I am alone my mind is having a dialogue with me telling me and asking me hey why did you do that you are such a pussy!
After the situation happens then stage 1 makes me feel absolutely terrible for not acting out and standing for myself. Most situations were people belittling me. Showing disrespect and blatantly ignoring me or provoking me.
I have had situations were people that were far below me disrespectful and treat me badly. I felt so hopeless and ashamed. Many a times men put me on the spot light and I couldnāt answer properly. They basically threw the social spotlight on me.
At work my superiors made me look foolish when I had made errors in documents etc. I had many situations were people and situations tested my frame.
And you mentioned angerā¦I think anger arises for you to address the issue that cause the anger. I have lots of it on Khan
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Just a hi from me, I was reading your journal for a bit and found a lot of treasures in it. Have a great day. Thanks for writing so eloquently.
On topic I have to say that with Stage 1 I sometimes had anger. Now in Stage 2 it is also present and I feel like I have the right to be angry in the moment when itās happening. Later I donāt regret it, but I notice that it was me acting out a temper tantrum like a child who doesnāt get what it wants.
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Shitty moments are normal on Khan, Iād be concerned if stage 1 went smoothly for you lol
Stage 3 more than makes up for it.
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I think you are experiencing a lot of emotionality and upheaval. This is likely reconciliation. Please consider taking more rest days. Consider 1 loop 2 times per week.
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this was my experience khan st1 ā¦almost 2+ years ago lol
a summary of my worst experiences, you probably read a small chunk of it.
Also I know how to ride my own waves of recon and in hindsight it was good that I went through these experiences, they caused a lot of growth.
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Are you running Stage 1 solo? The reason Iām asking is because Iām running it solo. Iām seriously thinking about adding Sanguine to the mix. Itās great for reducing recon. Along with what @RVconsultant has stated about rest days. Just a thoughtā¦
I have decided to stop running Khan. I am not going back to AM and going to really develop my foundation before hoping back on Khan.
Khan works exceptionally well! I didnāt 
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I have traced the problem with a shaky foundation and not having developed in a progressive way with these titles. @Sub.Zero pointed it out so beautifully in another thread about it not being about how long to run a title but what you do when you run that title.
Khan was extremely overwhelming for me. The reconciliation was hard.
I will redevelop with AM and lay the ground work to let Khan fully work when all of my pathways of manifestations are open.
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That sounds so tough man, especially for the time you have ran khan st1. Finally some time to catch your breath.
Upon reflecting on it donāt you want to finish khan bij moving to st2 for 30 days or so ā¦?
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@pacman All the best, I have so much respect for how long you did st1, you stuck with it. My point of view would be that you sucseeded. Khan st1 did break you down, like the sales page said it would, so in my book you did great.
Thanks for sharing so much
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It really did to a point where I actually felt I was losing focus and direction in life.
A wonderful subliminal in my experience.
@aaa Your comments are so warm 
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Stage 1 isnāt supposed to feel great, but if the recon is never-ending then maybe an OG sub like Ascension or Primal might carry on the work so far?
Also trying to be a Khan in teaching is difficult, youāre trying to have naughty fun in an environment that has consequences for openly displaying that kind of behaviour. Plus a Khan has no patience for marking and paperwork.
Stage 1 would have cleared a lot for any future sub to work very well but what do you intend to achieve now?
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