Get well soon 
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This is the type of recon that tends to be the trickiest because at a point in time it all seems plausible. And with this self growth we’re all effectively destabilizing and restabilizing, it can be disorienting to understand on an emotional level what’s permanent or not.
To make things more confusing technically it could be permanent if we hold that belief in our own heads and don’t question it enough.
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Hey , @Malkuth When you have such experience and with your accumulated meditation experience and skill . I guess you don’t experience it as suffering . You know it’s like you are in presence watching the mind activity detached .or there smth I am not seeing ?!
Keep going 
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Hmm…that’s an interesting question.
Well, I’m not enlightened. I haven’t ‘attained Fourth Path’ (or even First Path). I have not transcended the mind’s projective confusions.
On the other hand, I think the ‘me from 20 years ago’ would recognize that significant growth has occurred. He would notice some changes.
On the other hand,…
One interesting and ironic point.
Guess who is teaching me about healing and processing suffering-oriented mindstates?
It’s him.
The me from 20 years ago, the me from 40 years ago.
He still lives within me, and is ready, whenever I am, to emerge and remind me of what I’ve done, how I’ve felt, and who I’ve been.
This latest Dragon Reborn experience, in fact, was him (or a couple of him’s) emerging and then merging into me. The challenge is to bring the equanimity or the consciousness of today into all of those past you’s. Not to escape them, but to embrace them, and reintegrate them.
At least, I think that may be what’s happening.
I’m not that eager to escape suffering anymore. I was when I was younger. Now, I just want to be here for life, and to let things develop in the direction of healing. And as far as enlightenment goes, I think it’s beautiful. And I also think if a person keeps practicing and just living life, those various stages of evolution of consciousness will unfold and happen naturally when the time is right. I think of them more like Puberty. Just a developmental stage that will occur in the course of healthy development. Not better or worse than what comes before or after.
Thank you, brother, for sharing your strength and goodwill!!
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Day 3: Today’s Musical Sketch
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Day 4 of 5 Processing Days
Feels like I’m past the main hump.
We will see.
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Night number 4……
Sketch number 4.
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I gotta say your consistency with these sketches is inspiring me to do something similar. Been thinking about starting small again to get back into writing the music vs hugely intimidating projects.
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Tomorrow’ll be the last one.
Wanted it to accompany my processing days.
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Day 5 of 5 Processing Days
Somewhat tight morning routine today. I woke up with barely enough time to meditate before son needed to wake up.
He should get up by 7:30 AM. I meditated from 6:34 to 7:34. He managed to get sorted and situated in time and had a couple of minutes to spare.
I seem to continue to feel an easing up of challenging processing.
This was a good reminder that these are called Processing Days for a reason. The mind is actively digesting those subliminal meals of the previous 3 weeks.
The Mercury Retrograde that began in Gemini on May 10, shifted into Taurus on May 22. Mercury will remain in Taurus to finish out its current Retrograde period on June 3. Next week Friday.
My natal Mercury is in Taurus; and recently, I’ve gained additional insights about some of the implications of that. There is an emphasis on intellection through embodied experience. Ideas and concepts feel most real (most compelling and important) to me when I’m able to know them and feel them in my body.
Grateful for existence.
Let’s continue.
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I like this analogue and I detest stumping myself full and having to lay down in the sofa drained from the energy this digestion requires… however this time not in the stomach but in the mind.
It’s better to split the meals, eat when hungry, and never to overeat… do we agree? Once in awhile doing a fast…
Washout.
During this washout the mind may digest what’s left of it’s contents.
I think with ZP is it helpful just to take in one mail and to digest it fully.
I see in overload, similar to overeating a lack of fully executing the scripts because they require more energy than is available which instantly puts the person into additional reconciliation.
In reverse results I think this is caused by an extreme sudden fear whereby the conscious mind manifests the opposite of the it’s answer to the positive outcome of a question.
How did I get to live the lifestyle of an wealthy and rich man? Imagine denying this reality so harshly that you cannot possibly believe it is “you” who is experiencing this because of imposter syndrome which is basically that it clashes with another identity(‘s) that someone is holding onto. Like the identity of a poor and lacking man? Causing imposter syndrome unless that old one is eradicated and detached from.
Otherwise this may strike such a deep fear manifesting exactly the opposite of the positively polarised statement.
This is my theory and I think it is especially prevalent when overloading yourself on a justly new program or custom. That the mind gets in such fear and shock that it cannot handle the changes stressed with extreme tiredness it already has from processing.
I’ve seen it as well so and I could pretty much assess to all those symptoms lol.
On processing days it requires so much energy that I literally feel low for awhile not being able to do much of anything besides processing… which is a big sign way too much is going on for the body mind and spirit to properly function.
But after the processing as full energy returns comes the bloom… 
Once this is overcame people can have full blown blooms from small washouts and make their life better and better… 
This tiredness can also lead to depression and stonewalling which gets both the internal and external world to be stuck. I think some users here might actually have gone through such a thing “and not seeing much results compared to others”.
Healing is the most important requirement here to restore the life force and energy while removing blockages so that all scripts can execute and express fully without reconciling so much that resources are being drained.
This is just for the stonewallers… or those who see slow results. Slow results come from low momentum and low energy, high momentum and high energy can change circumstances quickly.
With ZP I think stonewalling is less apparent but still possible for those who have been under a strict regime and habitual living situation for a very very long time and became those stubborn mature man with their rationale. Those who are just so unable to perceive beyond their given reality for such an immense amount of time without much change.
I understand why people get lost in this world as they become older and less free in mind and spirit.
But subliminal’s fortunately can give them the key to unlock the door to a way out and into a better life…
If used effectively of course!
I salute those who know how to treat these tools with respect and by which create cataclysmic changes in their lives.
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Really liked this one. I got a thing for drums and beats so this was very satisfying.
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Wow. That’s cool.
Thank you.
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50 push ups just now.
That’s good. I’d taken a break since whenever the last time I posted was. Chest was sore.
It’s largely about emotions for me. If I feel intense emotion, the workout comes naturally. So, music is usually part of a workout for me.
People and interpersonal stimulation tend to distance me from my emotions. So, people usually interfere with my workout focus.
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5 processing days. Finishing up today. I plan to dive back in tomorrow. 2nd of three play periods.
3 more weeks of Drakari and POOLS.
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Sketch 5 - The final sketch
I’m tired tonight. Just finished a big deadline. Went hiking outside immediately afterwards and benefited tremendously from it.
Need to get some sleep and wake up tomorrow to return to my stack in morning meditation.
So, kept this sketch simple. But I like how it came out.
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MAN! This was so good! My new favorite by you, @Malkuth. Inspiring and soothing at the same.
For some reason I thought this track would fit CHOSEN as it embodies the goals of CHOSEN in music form.
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That’s some pretty great feedback. Thanks, man.
In my imagination, I’m playing with the notion of these songs/sketches as an alternative way of journaling. Or a way of expressing whatever’s being processed. But I leave it pretty loose. More of an experiment than an actual intention or plan. I just figure I can see if and how the music changes as I and my life change. We’ll see.
In the meantime, I’m putting this “5 by 5” thing (5 sketches in 5 processing days) to rest for now. hahaha. Maybe I’ll do it again in 3 weeks. That’s a cool way to make my processing days into something fun.
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Here’s an idea. You could make tracks for how Power Can Corrupt would sound like based on your interpretation. Or Yggdrasil. I mean, those names trigger something creative and am sure you can route it into your music.
Hmm. Giving me ideas for writing prompts too lol.
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