NewLease; Q Experience

Decided to stack Sex and SeductionQ to StarkQ.

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Reconciliation hit hard this morning. Anger, frustration, everyone on the road seemed to want to annoy me and of course a headache, also for a brief while I stopped S&SQ and was only playing StarkQ and thought about changing subs completely. I have the stack playing now starting with S&SQ and Iā€™ll ride it out because my dating life needs a lot of work.

I just realized that Iā€™m treating StarkQ the same way I treated Emperor and that is using it as an excuse to hide and not take action. While I plan on going back to StarkQ, I have to pinpoint the main problem why my life isnā€™t where it I want it to be. Daredevil (the original version) gave me the results I wanted and I stopped and gave up because reconciliation hit me hard with sadness and I didnā€™t take it as a sign to continue. Iā€™m working my way back to StarkQ with DaredevilQ first.

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Had to go in to work today even though its a holiday which didnā€™t put me in the best of moods. Also reconciliation had me feeling angry and a little hopeless because I really donā€™t love my job so to have to do it on a holidayā€¦well. But I donā€™t know what I want to do so I was feeling stuck. That negativity didnā€™t last though and Iā€™m feeling like something got worked out inside me. Feeling much better now.

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I decided that I need to put my dating and social life on hold until the end of June. Just purchased Mogul and going to start getting rid of the work that has piled up and still piling up.

There is something about these subs that Iā€™ve always known was true but I actually experienced yesterday when using MogulQ and that is taking action really is the key. Yesterday I was tackling my work like I donā€™t think Iā€™ve ever tackled it ever. Just the smallest amount of effort does wonders. Still have some work to complete with Mogul but Iā€™ll be experimenting with the other subs that I have.

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I let reconciliation ruin all my progress. I donā€™t even know what I want anymore or what sub would be best or what is even the point.

This thinking comes from how youā€™re feeling. Once reconciliation starts to fade away and your emotions get back to neutral or above, youā€™ll start to see where youā€™re going again. Any action that is able to shift your emotions back into alignment will also work.

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Yeah you are right. My goals require action in terms of being social but my anxiety is what hinders my progress. To be social is to open up and be vulnerable and that is terrifying because if it goes wrong thatā€™s going through the chest.

Iā€™ve been doing Khan TBQ since Friday. From the first loop I felt that it was truly more powerful than the original. I decided that Iā€™m just going focus on cleaning out everything thatā€™s holding me back. I have realized that 1 month wonā€™t be enough. Iā€™m going to use Stage 1 until it is undeniable that I can move on to Stage 2. So far only a few embarrassing memories popped up but nothing else other than that.

Edit: I actually deleted this post because I switched subs for a bit but then switched back to Khan TB. SMH

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How many loops of ST1 are you doing? Started it recently and did just one loop today.

Playing it on set and forget

Been reading truth the journals and I donā€™t think Khan is for me. Iā€™m not the aggressive confrontation type of person. Thatā€™s not my personality. Also I realized that I wasnā€™t doing bad with Stark but I was reading other journals and I was jealous of the success of everyone else. I also believe that because of being bullied and pushed around (and the worst usually came from being someone that Iā€™m not) I actually started to run away from who I am and started hiding at a young age. Iā€™m ready to be patient now with StarkQ.

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Sometimes, youā€™re making great progress but you donā€™t notice it because of where youā€™ve set your sights or focused your attention.

Like a tree that is waiting for one particular branch to grow, but, in the meantime, while that branch seems to take forever to grow 5 inches, the trunk, the roots, and the other branches have been growing by feet.

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Never thought of it like that. Iā€™ll keep that in mind from now on.

I listened to StarkQ all night last night and switched it of this morning. I am literally feel my brain processing the information right now. I hope it doesnā€™t cause a headache.

I havenā€™t listen to StarkQ all day and yet it is effecting me majorly. First I felt it working on my brain, then I got a headache and then I was horny. Also I feel like stacking which Iā€™m not going to.

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Is Spartan in StarkQ?

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It is amazing how reconciliation can talk me into screwing myself up. I keep telling myself to just stick with the sub and trust the process but ideas such as ā€œtry this sub insteadā€ sound so reasonable. But at that point Iā€™m jumping from one sub to another sub just to eventually get back to the sub I was originally using (StarkQ). I had StarkQ playing throughout the night and I woke feeling like something cleared. I believe it was StarkQ but I can be too sure.

I want money, women and independence but what I need is to stop caring about what other people think. Everyone has power over me and I donā€™t no how to take it back. The judgement of others is my biggest fear. It also feel like there is danger everywhere and its safer to not draw attention to myself which I am good at.

This morning I spoke to our auditor and afterwards I felt like a liability to the business. I work for my fatherā€™s company as an accountant even though I donā€™t understand it very well but my father simplified for me so that I can have a job. I donā€™t believe Iā€™m hurting the business because he always tells me that this couldnā€™t work without me but I canā€™t help but think they would be better off with somebody who was better. The auditor was asking questions I barely have the answer even though he doesnā€™t complain either I think I slowing down from doing his job as well. I donā€™t feel like I should be here, but where do I go and what else can I do?