Felt a headache coming on last night so I turned of the stack. Will start it back tomorrow on set and forget tomorrow morning. Had dreams but can’t remember them.
BlockquoteI want to attract girls for the respect that comes with it from peers
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I relate to this. For the longest time I didn’t want girls for me, I wanted them to show off to my guy friends. Approval/validation seeking behavior.
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Turned off My stack last night best I felt a headache coming and now I just feel groggy. Could barely focus at work. I think my mind is try to work through all the messages from the stack. Might wake up during the week and everything just clicks…I hope.
(Edit)
On my way home from work I felt the reconciliation hard and the sub stack wasn’t running. My mind telling me to start it back and add Sex and Seduction to it. And this is on me taking a break. Might start back on set and forget tonight or tomorrow morning.
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Decided to only focus on EV4 for the rest of the month. I’ll put back PCC and A&C in February.
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Definitely a difference with only EV4 running rather than when I stack it with other things. I guess because EV4 is so massive that using other subs slows down the work it is doing. Been using A&C and not using The Commander itself. Good time to give it a far go.
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Seems I’m not the only one minimizing their listening.
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Seems so. Lets both see what EV4 at its purest can do.
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I think I might be finding offence where there is none. Last night I was at a family get together and I was sitting with my father when someone who I think was an aunt called to my father to ask what my name is. He told them only for them to ask me if I could take their picture. I said no and made up some excuse. I don’t know if I stood my ground or if I was being a dick. Also I feel annoyed that maybe I still give off that impression that I’m the guy that goes fetch.
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I like it.
True generosity is when you could have said no, but you chose to say yes.
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For a while now I’ve been feeling really chilled. Life is life and things happen but I feel like I’ll be okay regardless.
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So now I have dreams that I can remember.
I was at my Grandma’s house accept now it was in the form of apartments running horizontally. I found myself at these apartments not realizing that other people were there. I still thought her house was just her house. I found myself there and the residents chasing after me not because they were angry but because they were concerned for me.
The next dream was a mixture of Toy Story mixed with the old animated version of The Nutcracker and it was dark and sinister and I felt sleep paralysis twice.
The third dream was of Alexa Bliss cutting the promo. Can’t remember what she said but I know it was savage and disrespectful and I enjoyed it.
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Felt bored and lonely and pitiful. But then I had a beer…and now I want the world to burn.
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Last night had a dream where I was back in a house that I grew up in. There was someone who was doing computer work for us and he had all of this computer equipment with him. When he was done his equipment was packed up and he wanted help moving it all but none of us did.
Second part of the dream involved a shoot out at the same house. There were people on our side try to take down the enemy but a few others and myself were just civilians that shouldn’t have been there. We were on the correct side taking cover but the enemy infiltrated our side pretending to be garbage men and just pulled out machine guns and started spraying. Before I could get shot up I picked my car up and spun it around as fast as I could and floored it down the hill.
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I have noticed that I am waking up really early all by myself and ca’t go back to sleep after words and the only reason why I stay in bed is because its cold. Also my desire to watch porn is disappearing and masturbating is an idea has started feeling gross. I have been going back and forth about what I should stack with EV4 but now I’m not sure I want to. My first stack EV4 was PCC and A&C and might start that back around Thursday since that would officially make it thirty days (Might start it tonight). I believe with dating and socializing, EV4 will get me there eventually.
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I am noticing the exact same things on Ev4.
What is A&C? I went back through the shop and didn’t see that.
I’m thinking once I hit 30 days, in 10 more days, I’m going to stack Mogul v2 with Emperor. I’m loving the focus and how I have eliminated so many people and activities that are not in alignment with my goals. My life feels very streamlined at the moment.
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Look forward to reading about it. Admiral and Commander; comes with The Commander supercharger.
@HappyHero
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Ahhh Commander ultrasonic included. I’m curious to follow your experience. I have not put in consistent listens to the ultras that come with superchargers yet.
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By Thursday I’ll put back in A&C and PCC and try to use the supercharger daily. For now it’s just EV4.
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30 days are almost up and while I love the changes I feel happening internally, I feel like there is so much more work that needs to be done and EV4 has barely scratched the surface. Still feeling anxiety specially when it come to dating, socializing and standing up for myself so 30 days is not enough. But I’m really looking forward to what’s going to happen by the end of February especially when A&C and PCC comes in.
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Rooting for you as a fellow reformed “unassertive”.
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