NewLease On Life

I know what I want so I’m going for it :relieved:

I’m running Heartsong ZP solo.

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Guys yesterday was rough. The first loop was in the morning while I was drinking coffee and when I reached the office was when I felt a little impatient like I wanted her to pop up in my life now lol. It was a half day at work so I was leaving early but before I could, my dad/boss called me because of some documents I am suppose to email weekly hasn’t been sent out for 2 weeks in a row. I knew I was not as productive as I should be but that triggered reconciliation for me and it was vicious. Thoughts of being a lazy bastard, thoughts of being a bum, thoughts of me still living with my parents and how I would be on the streets otherwise and jobless if it wasn’t for my dad.

I’m a loser, that is the truth and when I make progress to be a winner I stop. I lose focus so easily, I switch goals too often, I give up before I even get anywhere and now personally and professionally I am still where I was last year, the year before that and the year before that. I could say I am going to change that but that is what I always say and I never do it. Another problem I have is jealousy. I love and respect you all of you for what you are accomplishing and I keep acting like its just happening for you all not even thinking the effort it most take to get there.

I am taking a break from the forum. I had a stack that I was listening to and was actually doing something with until I stopped because of course I did. I will be going back to that stack and when I come back it will be good news. I won’t say anything or even lurk around until that happens.

Keep putting one foot ahead of the other guys and see y’all soon

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Sounds like a plan to me. Good luck mate, better not see you around here for a month at least. :wink:

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Good luck on your journey.

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Personally, i believe that a relationship has two parts and you must address both of them to have the relationship of your dreams.

  1. The Relationship.

This is what heartsong addresses. Relationship standards, relationships manifestations, relationship beliefs, attracting relationships, holding and keeping relationships, giving and receiving love. All that must be embodied and if necessary, healed. But thats not the only thing.

There is also part 2 of any healthy relationship.

  1. The Individuals.

Two individuals, to be precise.

Being as strong of an individual as possible will help with…

  • attracting a partner with high value that is also attracted to high value people… as a partner attracted to low value people has low self esteem.

  • groundedness, non reactiveness, holding your frame, not getting swept up in the relationship and forgetting yourself.

  • your own internal emotions, the joy and gratitude needed to enjoy all things in your life, including your relationship.

  • the power to make your life about more than just your relationship… as a man solely dedicated to his partner above all else can actually be unattractive. A woman wants a man with an intense zeal, zest, passion for life and living fully in it.

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It can be easy to misdiagnose relationship problems as relationship problems when they are actually individual problems. Aka value.

Many people do the flip side and misdiagnose relationship issues (such as fear of intimacy) as individual issues (such as not being sexually attractive enough.

For my partner, she suffers more with relationship issues such as beliefs all men will cheat, leave, and lie to her. Thats why heartsong helped her so much. But Chosen helped her even more because once we were in a relationship, we were two individuals inside of the relationship and fought like crazy.

Chosen helped her be a calmer more grounded individual who could take leadership and hold compassion in conversations that scared her, instead of lashing out.

Meanwhile, heartsong didn’t do anything for me, as my problems were 100% individual. Lack of value. Inability to stand up for myself. Not productive or following a passion. Reactive and angry often times. Letting her insults penetrate my non-existent self-worth and trigger me.

So when I listened to emperor there was an INSTANT SHIFT in our relationship. After 2 or 3 loops, the next time she got anxious, I was able to hold compassion for her and be non-judgemental instead of getting angry at her for getting anxious.

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Omg. Wow. I didnt even read this post. All of that was phrely a response to solo HS.

This is more of an individual issue as opposed to a relationship issue.

This is another issue of heartsong. Its a healing subliminal and healing counteracts productivity big time!

Easiest way to commit to a stack is to build a custom. Thats my strategy, anyways.

I will read your other journal to see what your old stack was!

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But just to give you my current thoughts on this, I think that Emperor would probably be your best bet towards better and more satisfying relationships right now. Not for any seduction elements, but for personal growth and pride in your own life thats so strong that you want to share that life with others.

Of course that could be stacked with HS, Wanted, Primal, or anything else. But solo stacks are easier to commit to, especially when they’re 3x a week instead of every second day.

In an earlier post you said.

  • I want to love and respect myself
  • I want to be independent and not have to rely on my parents for every little thing
  • I want to be a true Sigma
  • I still want my dating and sex life in order
  • I want to truly be productive and be a true asset to my father’s business and eventually be someone
    who can run it.

And it looks like you experience a lot of recon.

I would say you would do well with solo chosen to start with a strong foundation of self belief, optimism for the future, relief from misery, general positivity, and to excel in the role you’re in in your father’s company.

Chosen will also help you socially because it’ll make you more positive around other people and enjoy them more. Enjoying someone is much easier than impressing someone, and yet, is more impressive.

Chosen also is extremely good at preventing recon because its such a wash of positivity.

You could do solo chosen or combine chosen with emperor or ascended mogul.

Either way, there is no reason for you to ever switch off of chosen. All it does is increase positivity, make you and everyone around you happier, improve self esteem, generate confidence, and make people love trust and believe in you… which often leads to promotions at work. So when will Chosen ever NOT BE your goal… thats why its a good sub for you to listen to because theres no reason to ever shy away from the goals.

All subs are designed to give you things that might make you happy, but chosen aims to make you happy directly.

Social improvements wont happen without self esteem and optimism for the future.

Having a kind and compassionate (but powerful!) demeanour will make you more approachable, people will be nicer to you, and it’ll be easier to socialize as a result.

When you’re more joyful, you really will have a @newlease on life

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Thank you @BengalTiger @Seeker for the well wishes and thank you @Billions for the encouragement and advice. I have come back sooner than I thought but its for a good reason. I have been listening to Chosen since Sunday and the effects it has been having on me are out of this world. I never realized just how much of a miserable bastard I was until I just found it nearly impossible to be miserable. No wonder nothing here on SubClub worked; My attitude was such crap I don’t know how I was functioning, I was just drifting along in life. I don’t dread going to work as much as I normally would, I don’t feel annoyed when someone tries to make small talk with me and when I have to do something I don’t feel like, I don’t silently wine and sulk about it.

Also I feel some twitching in my thumb and left eye sometimes and I had a dream of the same girl who I was crazy about but who wound up just using me. The dream saw her with a friend of mine not sure what that means. Anyway just here to say that Chosen isn’t just an amazing sub but it is The Foundation Sub. Still early days but I feel comfortable in saying that. Again I never realized how miserable I was.

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That’s great! :smiley:

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This post reminds me of when ZP titles started dissolving the dark clouds over my head. Congrats man, glad you made it through

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I know what you mean. It’s like layers are just crumbling of my brain.

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I’m currently on my second day of washout. The reason being that throughout the cycle I was switch up the stack before I finally settled on Chosen. Throughout the week though I found myself going from positive to feeling how I was before listening to Chosen. Not all that positive but not negative either. I think I might have had a glitch in the matrix situation though where I saw a red car with a dent in the car turn into someone’s house only to see that same red car with that same dent right in front of me; I got nothin. On Saturday, a delivery guy just made small talk with me before riding off, doesn’t happen often I guess I am somewhat approachable even I wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone. This took place in a drive through where I also made a joke to the lady that was giving me my food and I got her to laugh genuinely.

Though I have only been listening for a short time, I have realized just how unsatisfied I am with a lot of things.
My performance at work is bad

I hate my job

I don’t have my own place

I’m still so dependent on my parents

I just feel so ill-prepared for everything

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Starting to feel much better now. I got that feeling that you normally get after having a long cry so something got healed. Shows how important washouts are.

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When I started the cycle that I am on now, I listen to Chosen once before then switching to Khan TB and I have been listening to it since Sunday Apr 10th. The Monday after that I felt like switching subs for the entire day of work and it didn’t clear until I was on my way back home. Since then it was dreams of the girl; yeah her, a dream so intense I don’t know if whether or not it might have been sleep paralysis. I don’t know but it was like armor was being put on me or forced on me and I woke up feeling it. Decided to stay up and wait until it was safe to sleep. There were other dreams but nothing I can remember. Anxiety was something I felt as well when my Dad/Boss was asking for something and I couldn’t find it and he was getting annoyed to the point of anger only for me to then realize we never did it. We both calmed down and the rest of the day was actually pretty good.

Yesterday towards the end of work, I felt spacy. Not groggy, angry, sad just almost hallow from everything that is my life.

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Just my thought on your situation
Disregard it if it doesn’t feel right to you or doesn’t ring any bell seriously
Now

From what I rode, I tend to grasp the feelings of someone who’s not sure he want’s to be in control
You write often that you switch when you get results, could it be because when you do have some it uncounsciously triggers you, showing that you can take care of yourself by yourself ?

Either way wanting to be taken care of is not bad, but it has to be a concious choice and then you should stop worry about it.

It depends on wich you prefer really but only you can trully tell with some introspection.
Once you’ll be sure about one way or the other one, you’ll be more congruent with yourself and stop feeling so low.

That’s what I feel, might be fully wrong, it’s for you to tell mate!
Keep bettering yourself anyway, each step bring you closer to what you trully want in life :fist:t2:

I do feel like I trick myself sometimes and I don’t think being in charge is for me.

I will think about this.

Thank you for the advice.

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Finished my cycle of Khan ZP Stage 1 and it sure was something. After my first two loops I wanted to switch subs. I knew it was recon because my mind kept going back and forth about which sub to switch to. My mind making valid arguments for both and me thinking Khan was a mistake and then on my way home it stop and I started feeling better. That is more or less what the entire cycle was like for me. Wanting to switch to something else and sometimes feeling like nothing was happening only for the feeling to pass. The was more intense on the washout though and I think its only because I not allowed to listen to subs during those 5 days is why I didn’t do something stupid like switch. The feeling of this isn’t the path or there is a better way or this is not what you want kept running through my mind but it always felt great when I got through it. On my final day of washout, will be moving to Stage 2 tomorrow.

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Are you sure you’ve learned enough through one cycle of Kst1 ?
It seems that so far you’ve done great but do you feel like you’ve trully learned something or are you moving to the next stage because St1 is uncounfortable and you don’t wanna fight more against something within yourself ?

From what you’ve written there is a lot to win for you with st1 it seems to rightfully hit sensible points that are bothering for you

Some food for thoughts
Anyway keep up your good momentum bro you’re doing great ! That’s when you trully start reaching the top of the hill (to better hicke higher on the following one) and reap rewards

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