I ran my first loop of this this morning and man did I get recon. First REAL recon I ever experienced with SC subs. My family situation is unique and complex, but I am a single father and have, I believe, been an excellent, loving father to my son (turning 21 tomorrow). My ex is still in my life and we are still friends, but a strained and complex history.
I was helping my ex with some work on her house today when the recon kicked in. I believe it was recon. I saw all the BS that I had put up with over the years with her and things just came to a head within me. I came really close to blowing up and burn the house down (metaphorically speaking) and walk away permanently. I became SO ANGRY and she hadn’t really done anything unusual except be her controlling, normal self.
I held my tongue and started really doing inner work and trying to see what the hell was happening with me. It seemed almost like there was this emotional boil within me that needed to be lanced. I started to see things about my ex that made sense (she had a terrible childhood and terrible family and abuse) and saw her need to control things as a deep coping mechanism. I started to feel compassion for her for the first time ever. My inner turmoil faded away and I felt real care and compassion for her.
So maybe that wasn’t recon after all. Maybe it was just my subconscious dealing with my own repressed emotions. That all came from ONE 15 minute loop. Just incredible.