Matt's Subliminal Journey (currently Khan)

Absolutely, he was the first male therapist who was not too much limited by his beliefs.
I have the feeling when you are ready, the right therapist/teacher appears.

Today I started with LEU v2 and worked fast on some problems at work.
Now I am listening to my QV2 custom. Probably just one loop for today, later Khan Stage 1 for 2-3 loops.

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Listening to the 2nd loop of Khan Stage 1 - day 23/90.

Today I noticed that most men who seem to have Alpha status, lose it in my presence. I call them fake Alphas. Some men are still acting normal. These I call authentic Alphas. I live in a neighborhood with migration background from countries in which men are still men.
I am asking myself if I am too intense, but don’t see an alternative right now. I tried smiling more, but it’s not congruent with my current state.
It’s not so relevant, just something I noticed. I don’t really like these Status games right now. Like who looks away first… I just want to be able to look wherever I want without restrictions by social games.

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Ok, first loop of the long awaited Khan Stage 1 QV2. Will use that one for the upcoming 67 days of Stage 1.

Horrible healing night mare.
The protagonist is being physically and psychologically abused. Later he takes revenge on the sadistic family. Then he gets back into scenes of abuse. He believes to watch a horror movie and he has been put under lsd. Then he meets the doctor who did the healing and he tells him he got healed from a terrible illness by simulating the abuse and he can have back his brain again. They go into a cathedral were the brain is in a hole in the earth. Then the trippy horror continues.

I wake up at 4:44 and try to remember details of the dream but at the same time I want to forget the experience.

I hope this was somehow healing and worth it

Nietzsche: What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.

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I stayed awake after the dream. It happened 1 hour ago.
If this is a way to heal traumas I am pleased with it. Better than manifesting and experiencing something in real life.

This happened after listening to my first loop of Khan Stage 1 QV2.

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Originally, I wanted to do a rest day today.
But then I played love bomb. And now I am listening to one loop of Khan Stage 1 QV2.
Nightmares… bring it on.

I am tired. Will perhaps take a nap later.

I had an appointment today and didn’t want to oversleep it. So, I am awake since about 8 hours… 4:44 am and slept for 3-4 hours.

Nothing special to report from my little trip to the outside world. Nothing out of the ordinary happened.

I felt tired, hungry, need for nicotine and fresh air while waiting for the appointment. Happy I am back at home. I don’t like being outside when I lack sleep. I feel weak then.

I know what these rough days/nights are like.

How about taking a rest day or two?

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Good idea, but I will wait and see how tonight and tomorrow will be like.

Currently I am listening to sanguine. I already feel good and optimistic. 40 minutes in. But there also is some dread about tomorrow. Nothing planned so far, just day job. Hopefully good enough weather to go outside.

I have to take a rest day or at least reduce the total daily loops. I can see that, but there is a loud part of me who wants to continue as it is.

Okay, it seems to be official. Today is a processing day for me.

Rest days are the best days. I was outside today and am pleased with the current state of my effects on most people. Most women are very shy, but one pretty girl did hold prolonged eye contact today. Wow, was she pretty. Need to start with a word like “Hi” in such situations. Or some other kind of communication opener. Like not going past her but taking a stop…
My approachability seems to get better. One guy approached me and asked for the main railway station. I was helpful, and he just went away when I told him the answer. Maybe he realized my aura at one point of the conversation.

It’s an interesting situation: between not giving a fuck about women / having a relationship and getting myself to take action. Is not giving a fuck just an excuse? Probably.

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Can’t wait for the day job to end. Later I will visit a friend.
I am not used to eating much food at the moment. I ate a small pizza and a salad, and it feels like overeating. Comfort eating seems to be gone. I am only starting to eat when I feel hungry. Hungry as in a little shaking if I do not eat something. Need to stock up on healthy food in small portions.

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Wow! Awesome man!

Rest is important. Yesterday I had only little sleep and the subs didn’t work as great as in the past.
Today after a good nights sleep everything works as expected.
I think it’s about energy and the underlying state.
Like when you are in a bad mood, even subs won’t have such great effect because your base state sucks.
The sub is an additional layer. But an outstanding layer when everything is aligned.

I just noticed intense horniness in the presence of a woman I normally wouldn’t find attractive.
It could be that I began to feel different from what social/media programming suggests.
Being horny is an enjoyable sensation. I hope at one point it motivates me to start a conversation.
It was in a work setting, and she showed no obvious signs of attraction other than standing faced into my direction (while looking at her phone).

Insight: I probably take no action because I don’t feel it most of the time. I can calculate that woman is attractive, but I can’t feel it. Masturbating less often would probably change that fast. I am currently getting out of that daily habit, just because I don’t feel like it in most evenings. The urge is gone.
In the past, I got angry when I stopped masturbating daily or did practice semen retention.
I can imagine that this part of me is now healed. I am considering starting a nofap challenge just to gain some momentum.

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Weekend days are processing days for me. Let them begin

That’s the spirit mate!

Started the day with BLEUV2.
Now playing my QV2 custom.

Nothing planned for today but the day job. This week I will see 3 friends. Happy, happy, joy, joy.

Later a loop or two of Khan Stage 1 (day 27/90)

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One loop of Khan Stage 1 QV1 and one loop of QV2 custom.
Khan day 28/90.

Lately, I am not sleeping enough, so I feel less energized when I am outside. I think it takes off the Khan aura. Oversleeping is still gone.

Started the day with BLUv2. Now I am listening to one loop of Khan Stage 1.
As I am fearing reconciliation, I will keep the loops lower from now on and consider an additional processing day.

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There is a theme in the figurative novel of my life since a few days.
People are not connecting with me. Maybe it’s some kind of healing around attachment.
I feel isolated.