Matt's Subliminal Journey (currently Khan)

  • Tomorrow will be my next day off subliminals.
  • Currently, I am listening to the 3rd loop of Khan Stage 1 for this day (breaks of 1 hour in between). I want to listen to more loops, but at the moment I am not able to. Yesterday and the day before yesterday I listened to 4 loops each day, but this made me really sleepy. I will stay at 3 loops for the weekend, if the tiredness doesn’t get better I will go back to 2 loops.
  • This is day 20 of the Khan Stage 1 journey. And I feel bad. Hope that at one point there will be a promised switch of mood. Remembering that this might be due to the subliminal and is not a real depression helps a bit.
  • Thoughts of switching to other subliminals hit me daily. As this is called reconciliation I do not react to it.
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  • I enjoy the days off subliminals. It seems like that’s when they really begin to shine.
  • Yesterday I slept nearly the whole day, but still got to listen to 3 loops of Khan Stage 1 with 1-hour breaks in between.
  • I am thinking of adding mogul at one point of the journey. Maybe in Stage 2 or after 30 days of stage 1. At one point I want to get the money part handled. I already tried listening to two loops of Mogul during my journey but at that point it was too much. I felt off for a while. On the other hand, Mogul seems to be part of Khan according to the product description.
  • This is day 23. 3 loops Khan Stage 1 - masked with 1-hour breaks minimum.
  • Sometimes I am listening to “The Commander” supercharger. It seems to make people comply to my wishes. I still feel a bit bad about that, but that’s probably a rest of low self-esteem. I need to wake up to the reality that I am more powerful than before.
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  • Today is my subliminal day off. Already being more productive than in the past few days.
  • Yesterday I fought with two childhood bullies in my dreams. I had already forgotten about them.
  • Today the dreams were less remembered.
  • Still getting those “angel numbers” a lot. RAS is looking out for them. It’s probably partly that I look at the clock when they are there and the other part is that I remember it when I looked at the clock when they were there.
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This was a great day.
A shift was happening for me after listening to the True Social supercharger.
I recognised that I have been focusing a lot on what’s not working in my life lately.
I did an automatic writing session this night about becoming more positive and the entity of my choosing showed me that I can be happy now by shifting the lenses with which I look at the world.
The past traumatic experiences were there to help me become the person I am today.
My homework now is to notice when I am not showing gratitude for what I have.
I wanted to change a lot in my life and judged myself and relationships strongly.
I wanted new and better relationships, but I missed the good things in those I already have.
There were moments in my life in which I was happy, because I seemed to achieve success in things which were important to me, but this happiness was fleeting.
Now I want to learn to be grateful for the things I got and my guess is that this will boost my progress. Even if it will not boost it, it won’t hinder it.
Some things take time.

You can plant a seed in the Earth. If you always pull it out to see if it has already grown, it might not grow at all.

I have come a long way already and there are set backs, but in the long run it goes forward.

All the things I have overcome already made me stronger. Years ago I had extreme social anxiety and depression with constant suicidal thoughts. It’s odd how I forgot that and think now that I should be already in „perfect“ condition.

So my hope is that I can be more grateful and loving with myself and the world I live in.

Covid-19 sucks, but also cleared some problems from my work environment. Working from home is a great benefit.

It does not need to get better at the moment, because it already is good.
Outside success is nice to have as long as I have the inner attitude to enjoy it.

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Back from the testing labs!

I am now listening to Stark Q. Plan to use one loop of Ultima Test Stage 1 while cleaning up my apartment. I will try version A first because I could make out a difference between A and B, while A being the favorite of most people.

The test gave me some ideas what I want to have in a custom subliminal. Name embedded Stark Q is part of it, also some productivity modules (Productivity Unleashed, Carpe Diem Ascended), also EGO ADSUM for being in the now. I just ordered my first custom and will probably open a new journal in the right section. It’s a wild mixture of things I would like to cultivate, like a better voice (Emperor’s voice) or stopping porn and masturbation (You can guess which module I chose for that).

I am now in my second loop of regular Stark Q:

  • emotional - feeling awesome
  • physical - awake
  • mental - happy, entertaining thoughts

And that on a Monday, a day I hated in the past.

Edit: I will try to use my high quality headphones with my mobile phone and Ultima today. My guess is that it will suck the battery low fast, but we will see. Maybe I should buy some studio headphones specially made for mobile devices in the future.

Edit 2: Did not change battery status that much. I remembered reading somewhere that those headphones are not made for mobile devices, but no big problem here. Maybe when I use them for hours, but in one hour it took 4 points down.

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Resisted the temptation to listen to Beyond Limitless Ultima.
I see a new challenge for me: Deciding between temporary instant results vs. listening to subs with longstanding postponed results.
I hope that I find a good mixture of both options. That should be possible. One loop of Ultima a day should be enough and I already listened to Ultima Test 1A.

A friend visited me in my break from work, and she told me that I seem funny and happy today. When she asked me where that came from I invented some reason other than subliminals. Hahaha.
That shows that I am not really comfortable to share this with someone. It seems to depend on the person. I am thinking about telling a spiritual friend of mine about them. For me, it’s like with magick better do not tell people about doing it.

I was also thinking about getting my mother a subliminal or my sister. Both have some esoteric beliefs and maybe now with Ultima they might see the results fast. I still hesitate and would like to wait until there are more changes in myself noticeable. Also, when there will be a free Ultima subliminal that one would be best suited because I do not have to buy another license. Ultima could be a good convincing device for the skeptics.

Edit: I guess for my mother there could be a problem because her English skills are basic. I just thought that maybe Ultima is not the best choice because of the need for better headphones, and I am not sure if she had problems with tinnitus in the past. Still, I would like to expand my own testing lab. Hahaha.

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I have some work to do for a hobby project until tomorrow night. I will probably listen to BLU tomorrow before that and see if I can get it done faster.

Just finished another loop of Stark Q and will take a break now. I also remembered that I should plan a rest day for this week. And how much I liked the True Social supercharger in the past. We will see how it compares to True Social Ultima.

It’s 5 pm here and I still feel energized. Maybe I will go out for a walk before the meet up tonight.

Notes:

  • Rest days are important
  • Taking breaks between loops is important
  • True Social is a great supercharger
  • Writing a journal is one thing, reading your journal is the next step :blush:

Just listened to the True Social Supercharger. Now I will go for a walk.

Edit: just came back from the walk. Time seems to fly by fast. That’s only in retrospect as I was in the now during walking. Probably Ultima A still blooming. Now another round of StarkQ.

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At night I notice some rumination about what to do with my life. I fix it with the following exercise: going around in the room and saying full of defeated emotions “What will happen to me?” while putting my hands to my head. Then I change the sentence to “This is awesome”, happy emotions and a open arms gesture. I alternate between the two until I get that these thoughts are meaningless and I find them funny.

This is an exercise I got from an occult book a long time ago and I just remembered it.

It’s a deconditioning exercise similar to altering between crying and laughing.

After the exercise I do no longer ruminate about this useless question.

I feel like clarifying why I think of it as useless and rumination. It’s a question a depressed person would ask himself a lot while being inactive. Somewhere I read that rumination is not only a symptom of depression but also a tool for continuing it. I see that in a depressed friend who is always repeating the same few sentences. I guess if he would stop asking himself the question “How do I get better?” his emotions would get better by themselves until he is able to take action again.

Rumination is a bad habit. I once had compulsive rumination with the same negative thoughts repeating over and over for weeks. That was a very bad time for me.
After that period the thoughts repeated themselves less and less. Nowadays I get them really rarely and can push them away fast.

Today I felt very talkative again. Talking to my friends, colleagues, myself and this journal.

Today I listened to 5 loops of StarkQ. Planning to reduce it. And also take a rest day. Probably Wednesday.

It’s 0:33 am here now. Need to get ready for bed.

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Yesterday I was trying new energy practices and could not sleep until about 3 am.
Now I got a notice that I will go to the office today for a demanding task. It will need a lot of focus, and I am running BLU at the moment. This will be my test for it.
I will watch my confidence levels heading to work and edit this post later with an update.

Edit: 34 minutes in I am feeling a sensation in my head.

Edit: I did the task fast with no loss of focus. It was smaller than last time so I cannot really compare.
On the public transport to the office I noticed nothing special. Wait, I probably was less self-conscious.

Now I will start my first loop of Stark Q. The plan is to do 3 of them today. Tomorrow is rest day. These days were great in the past.

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The cable of my mobile headphones has a loose contact. At the moment I can only listen to subliminals at home with my studio headphones. Maybe I should finally buy some wireless in-ear headphones. I just saw some high-end audiophile headphones. Something to buy in the future.

I took a nap today then worked on a hobby project. Focus on that project was good.

I got the idea to listen to one loop of Stark Q Terminus before my rest day tomorrow. Will see if that’s a good idea. I feel like wanting to make up for a missed day with the Terminus version. Have to recalibrate my mindset about rest days.

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Let the rest day begin!

This morning I did remember one of my dreams.

First sequence: People around me are getting more height than I have. They are growing while ascending upwards. Then somebody explains to me how to grow myself. And I grow and go upwards, too. My member does not grow. Then when I reach the final place I have sex. Before that I am worried about the size of my member. The sexual experience is still good.

Second sequence: Resolves around sex and shame because of being caught by some family members. Rather embarrassing or funny perceived from different points of view.

There seems to some themes in the dream: Growth, getting help from advanced beings, insecurities about my body, shame induced by family programming

Before going to sleep I listened to StarkQ:T and then did an energetic exercise for about an hour.

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How to stop visiting a buddy you have been visiting nearly every week for over a decade? I could use an Attachment Destroyer right now.
Today I visited this guy and felt burned out afterwards. I had to do a few energetic exercises to get back to a mediocre state.
I’ve been thinking about letting this connection go for a long while.
I am still attached some how even though I know that I feel shitty after meeting him.
He does not seem to take my boundaries seriously.
If I would meet him today I know we would not become friends.
Time to let him go.
Or to take a longer break from those visits.
I have to value myself more and should not feel responsible for the situation he manoeuvred himself into. He is stuck in the same place since so many years.
Some people do not want to grow and give themselves up.

When I was on emperor q experimental I already noticed him as a time waster. Then I was more determined and left or did fewer visits.

At the moment I am still caring too much. Need to care more about myself.

Freedom - being able to leave at your own choosing and start new.

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Waking up at 6 am, I remembered another connected dream, this time about school time:

  • A now friend of mine being in the class of me. We are in the park, and she starts a fight with some boy. Later the boy asks me if I live near the park because he needs some place to go and I decline.
  • Birthday of my once best friend. Somewhere, maybe at school. I give him a painting as a gift and another friend of his starts painting over it and I confront him.
  • While being absent somebody has taken my chair. I pressure someone to tell me who took it. It was my then best friend. When I confront him, he begins to fight me verbally.

This was at night/early morning after my rest day.
I can connect the dream to what I’ve written yesterday about. The then best friend is the step-brother of the guy I no longer want to visit. Maybe I am still attached to this person because I miss the time when his step-brother and I still were best friends.

Now I am listening to my first loop of StarkQ (regular).

I want to test out the Limit Destroyer Ultima. I am not sure what to exactly expect from it but want to run it for a few days to notice it.

Yesterday I read about alchemist practices for which visualization skills are required. I thought about using Mind’s eye to get better at them but do not feel comfortable stacking another subliminal at the moment. I am already running Stark Q and LDU and there is a custom in the pipeline. Will continue the other basic practices about energy attainment and containment until I am ready to go to the next step.

Edit: Just read that Rebirth Ultima is out now. This was the stacking module I bought with my first order at subliminal club. Haven’t been using it for a long time. Decided to run it today. I especially liked the line “The influence of toxic people will disappear from your life.” as this seems to fit to my situation from yesterday.

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Rebirth Ultima

45 minutes in:

  • physical - feeling lighter, energized
  • emotional - good mood
  • mental - positive thoughts, thinking about the concept of being the bornless one

Edit:

After listening to Rebirth Ultima I was still tired because I slept less and took an unintended nap while meditating.

about 4 hours later:

  • physical - relaxed, tired
  • emotional - good mood
  • mental - focused on work, positive thoughts

I am not yet noticing much but also not sure what I am looking for while being at work.
It probably should work on the goals of Stark Q and letting behind my past self which could be hindering me from getting towards those.
Will listen to it for a few days with 1-2 loops a day.

Just started a second loop. Then there will be a break. Then 2 more loops of Stark Q with breaks in between.

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Will love to hear a report after about 3hours after your loop.

Work will be over soon.
My plan for the rest of the day: getting things from the store and listening to “Nobody Wants to Read Your Sh*t” by Steven Pressfield. This sounds like a motivating book for my writing dreams. :wink:

Edit:
During the second loop of Rebirth I got the idea to stop nicotine pouches now. I spend too much money on this meaningless addiction. Probably some hard time ahead. Let’s do this.

At the moment this should be a good time for withdrawal symptoms because I work from home and can stay at home if I need to. In the past when I was on nicotine withdrawal I felt extreme anger. Let’s see what happens this time. Fun, fun, fun.

So far, nicotine withdrawal is gone through okay. Yesterday after the second loop of Stark Q I began sleeping and woke up this morning. I noticed that I do not want to do anything at the moment. No motivation. Could be part of the nicotine withdrawal.

In the morning I listened to the first loop of Stark Q of this day. Then I listened to Sanguine Ultima to help with withdrawal maybe. :wink:

Just read that Ultima should be listened to only every 2nd day in the beginning. I will accept that and listen to no Ultima title tomorrow.

Edit: Motivation is back, did some work in the kitchen. Now I feel like having myself occupied to counter the temptation of consuming nicotine in one form or another. Sadly, I am still waiting for feedback at work and cannot start with my next project yet.
Hope I will get through this soon.
Next “addiction” to conquer: social media / meaningless web browsing - but first I need a good alternative like a big project I can always work on when I feel like doing these behaviors.

Was outside for a walk while exercising energetic attainment and containment.

On my walks I usually get something to drink at a pizza place. I first thought I was too early this time but then the daughter of the owner arrived and opened the store.
What was new is that she began small talk by asking “How are you today sir?” (she used the formal way of talking) and later changed to informal talk.

That made me happier. I smiled a lot on my way back home and saw a woman with sunglasses who smiled back while licking her lips.

Was a nice experience but threw me out of my energetic containment bubble.

Tomorrow I will go to a social event probably. Would love to go somewhere today but haven’t found something yet.

Now I will listen to another StarkQ loop.

Edit: Letting go of nicotine was first easier than I thought. Now I am in a bad mood. Will see where this takes me. Still optimistic that it will work this time.

I am not feeling well psychological and emotional at the moment. In many areas of my life stressful things are happening. These are not new problems, but problems that existed as potential in the dark. Sometimes I am coping well, sometimes I am not. I decided to give Regeneration and Elixir a go now.

During one first loop of Elixir Ultima I suddenly feel sad.

Feelings of sadness have not been unusual in the past days. I seem to recognise or feel emotions better. Some emotions I felt often in the past few days were feeling horny, sad and in love. Also some euphoria.

Wild ideas have been on my mind. Ideas for making money like becoming a poker player. Ideas I find absurd the next day.

My hopes and dreams for Regeneration and Elixir are to face some of my trauma and becoming more alive in the here now. I have been in therapy of different modalities before but I could only get what I was willing to bring into the sessions at the points.

Maybe I got too many open loops at the moment and it will get better when some of them close.

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Regeneration and Elixir is a killer move on your part! Enjoy the ride.

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