Perhaps consider and Ultima with:
Stop P and M
Stronger
Eye of the Storm
Foundation
Sanguine
Inner Gasoline
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I am interested in that kind of ultima, especially inner gasoline. I will see when I order it.
Yesterday, when I was drunk, I ordered the custom Ultima. I am confident that it will help.
Today I overslept, which probably is connected to drinking 4 beers yesterday. The custom Ultima will probably also help with the urge to drink more than necessary. I just wanted to party a bit because I am working on a new book project.
Lately, I am feeling attractive again, but itâs partly coming from the outside because I see IOIs again.
Tomorrow I will start my 2 weekend rest days.
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After two rest days I am back with one loop of Khan Stage 2.
Imagining my addiction custom could also help with cutting down nicotine. And to be energised by inner gasoline will probably also be great.
What I forgot to mention is that I am currently using hd280 pro headphones with my old iPhone as MP3 player. I miss the headphone jacks on the new iPhone. And donât want to risk having a bad experience with my exotic high quality Bluetooth headphones.
With low loop counts I can currently use the headphones with cable. I wouldnât want to use them at work or outside.
Today I received my custom Ultima. I first was happy for the fast delivery, but then I noticed that there was a Spanish name after my first name in the file name and in the mail.
I still will run a loop and see what happens.
Experimentation is welcomed at subliminal club.
Also I submitted a support ticket.
Feliz feliz alegrĂa AlegrĂa. Hablo español ahora.
es una broma.
A little bit more relaxed after one loop. Lately I am a bit stressed out. Will watch it tomorrow and add a rest day.
A girl was sitting with a guy in a restaurant today and could not stop looking at me. I assumed it was her date, so I tried to avoid eye contact after a while. Perhaps it was her gay friend or brother.
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Starting the day with one loop of Khan stage 2.
A character flaw I have noticed in me is that I am interpreting small things as signs of disrespect. I would rather be chill about these things, but I throw little temper tantrums like a child. I hope it gets better with more time spend on relaxation.
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Today I will take a break from Khan Stage 2 because my sleep is getting worse. I am oversleeping again.
Many dreams about challenges.
I listened to my custom nofap ultima, which I received today with the right name in it.
Doing my best to stay present.
Today I talked with my short-term therapist. He recommended me to work on my body language because the medications I take stop me from being expressive. Also, he recommended starting physical exercise like bicycle or swimming. He thinks I am fine the way I am and do not need much therapy. Which probably is a compliment.
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Hey Matt, is this still your listening schedule? If so, Iâm not surprised that youâre tired. QV2 is a beast. Some people are listening to it one day on and 5 days off. Definitely, I agree with more rest days. Take care guy!
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Yes, I need to experiment with less loops per week and more rest days. Maybe one day on, two days off. I am sabotaging myself by doing one loop a day for 5 days. Less is more, I need to remember that.
The plan is to take the next two days off subliminals completely.
I hope to find a working schedule soon.
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Today is the rest day 1/2.
I am feeling not motivated enough to take initiative at my day job. I have done all the tasks on my list, but now I need to find a new task I could do instead of just hanging around in the home office.
Oversleeping was still happening today. I hope it gets better tomorrow after the first rest day.
When planning my new listening schedule, I already know that I will listen to Stage 2 of Khan every 3rd day. Now I have to decide how to bring the Ultima for better habits into the schedule. Maybe kick one rest day and listen to the Ultima? Or listening to Ultima and Khan Stage 2 on the same active listening day?
Today I thought about using Ultima Executive or LEU against the missing motivation, but a rest day is a rest day. I need to stay with that decision.
Still canât wait until I have found the ideal system for the listening schedule for me.
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Hej @Matt,
How do you react if you play Khan and Ultima the same day? At the moment if I do I get heavy recon which is something I could easily do before. Finding it very hard to squeeze in any Ultima at all at the moment in my schedule.
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The thing is I am currently oversleeping, if that counts as heavy reconciliation then I am experiencing the same thing. I have listened to Khan and my custom Ultima on the same day.
If you have a solution for that, I would appreciate it.
Looking for it but not yet. The only thing iâve found is to not play it on the same day. Same here I oversleep like crazy with very vivid dreams. The only thing I can think of is to very meticulous with what you eat and drink as well as tiring yourself out in physical exercise, and also relaxation and meditation practices.
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I currently canât imagine having a relationship in my life. It would bring my little life out of order. Also I canât imagine having sex with my big belly.
I am trying to be as honest as possible to myself.
I had bad experiences with my last relationship in the past and now I am thinking a new relationship might have similar problems. I am still sabotaging myself here. Maybe I should get back to Stage 1 of Khan or restart Dragon reborn. But Stage 1 of Dragon Reborn was horrible at times. I even had a few weeks were I was feeling so terrorised by noises that my doctor nearly convinced me to go into a clinic. Thatâs much better now. I can listen to people renovating there homes all day now and work at the same time in the home office. This is what gives me a bit of hope. That I have grown internally over the past few months. Now I just need to figure out a listening schedule for QV2. Yesterday I even thought about stopping subliminals for a while. I have other modalities of growth I neglected for a while now, like Feldenkrais or Magick. Okay, I have to admit I might be masturbating too much and thatâs why I am not interested in a real relationship at the moment. Also the good days where I am getting indicators of interest everywhere I go, they show that Khan is somewhat working. But I am not doing my part of the job which would be as simple as saying âHiâ. I donât know if I am ready to benefit fully from Khan in the current situation. Maybe I should focus on taking action first. I am only talking to girls I find mildly interesting when under the influence of alcohol, but then I am not really there. What I mean I am not present and more on auto pilot. I have to admit that I am stupid by believing that at one point I will get approached. It happened in the past, but very rarely and I donât want a relationship that happens by the neediness of some woman. Thatâs what I already experienced with my last relationship. I did nothing and she initiated everything. I am too passive at the moment. I donât even care if I have a relationship, sex, a connection, whatever at the moment. It is not part of my reality yet. Walking around and women seeming interested in my gives good feelings, but I donât know yet if I want more. Porn is just an addiction. I need to drop it and get my energy back. Itâs ugly like watching other people fucking with binoculars.
At the moment I am distracted by daily life. I have a public reading of my short stories soon and a few radio shows to prepare, plus a project at work to finish. And I still find time to hang out with friends every other day and drink too much alcohol.
So the First action step would be to stop porn and alcohol. Even if it means I wonât see some friends for a while with whom I mostly drink. To get more clarity. And at the same time I want to reduce sub usage as much as I can, so I donât oversleep and get better results. This is my plan.
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Iâm sorry youâre going through that. Sounds really tough. The only thing I can say is when you are hit with powerful recon like that, itâs best to slow down and take more time off. Some people are doing QV2 one day a week! Thatâs how powerful QV2 is for some people. As @Tobyone said get some physical exercise if you can. I believe your doctor had recommended cyclingâŠ
Have you considered doing one day on and 5 days off? Or even one day on and 7 days off? I believe @pacman was doing that schedule for a while. He was going days and days with fatigue and headaches, so he took a lot more days off. Even @RVconsultant did a 24 day washout and he was still experiencing massive recon on day 18 or so of the washout.
Remember as Saint Sovereign said, processing can continue up to a month after youâve stopped. So even with your days off, you still have a large backlog of shit that has to be processed.
Using a sink metaphor, the water in the sink is rising faster than itâs draining, and itâs beginning to overflow⊠You gotta turn off the faucet for a longer period of time.
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Thanks for your reply. I like the idea of taking 5 days off between loops.
And physical exercise would be another good action step. I want to focus more on self care for the next weeks.
And the phase with the noise was last year in November when I was listening to dr stage 1. I now think it was part of the healing. I am generally feeling okay nowadays, only when I oversleep I am deeply depressed for a few hours. Thatâs connected with sleeping too much as I know from the past.
Self-care will mean meditation, feldenkrais, lots of journaling (privately) and physical exercise. Using my free time to regenerate psychologically instead of going out and getting drunk.
I had a lot of positive events happening in the past few weeks and that was positive stress. Combine that with the possibility to go out again after everything was closed I went back into old patterns.
Time to get actively into good habits again.
Iâm not surprised at all. DR stage 1 is no joke. Itâs a beast.
Take care guy!
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Thank you Gilligan.
Currently I am thinking about games people play. And how other people just accept that. Itâs simple PUA theory probably and the psychological theory behind it. Like playing hot and cold. If I am not aware of it I fell for it, too. At one point giving a compliment and in the next one being cold or even saying something negative. I havenât decided yet if I want to play the same game just because they are effective or if it is possible to be interesting by just not playing those games. Or to get similar effects by just being authentic. Without thinking of games at all. Rejecting people because you have better things to do. Not because you know it triggers something in them. I can see the behaviour a little bit in live social interactions and a lot in retrospect. Maybe I have to start play the games for a while until I can transcend them. I remember having success with push and pull in the past, but it felt fake to me. It was a value conflict, being authentic vs manipulative. I rather would stay authentic and I think I have the life to back it up. I have better things to do then playing games. But I have to learn to communicate that and act like it. There is an abundance of people out there and I donât have to accept bullshit from anybody. To be more authentic my strategy is journaling to get to know myself better. I have done so successfully in the past. In the past drunk social interactions I more felt like a door mat. Not calling out bullshit, not speaking my truth fully. I attest that partly on the absence of the rational mind in these interactions. I am practicing being not in the head a lot, but what I am missing is being aware of the situation and my guess is either I use my rational mind for that or I have trained myself in the past to do it unconsciously. My heart would be a good indicator too, so I have to listen to feelings more and not just let them go. Itâs an interesting journey ahead of me with a lot to learn about social interactions. I am too egocentric and just thinking about my own behaviour without noticing how fucked up some people are. Outward focus should become important to me.
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