I just went down a very bizarre rabbit hole (pun possibly intended).
I was thinking about the parallels between eating and f**king.
In essence, they’re both appetitive.
I first had the thought, ‘people seem to be willing to be with other people who they do not particularly like in order to satisfy the desire for pleasure through f**ing.’
Then I thought, ‘Hmmm…well, maybe that’s not so strange. After all, no one eating a piece of chicken concerns herself over whether that chicken had an agreeable, friendly manner about him.’
This then led to the thought, ‘Well, one major difference is that in the case of eating, the other being is already dead. So there’s not much basis for a relationship.’
Which naturally led me to think about animals that are or have been eaten by human beings while those animals are still alive. I found a list of 8 or 9 animals for whom this has occurred. (To quote a wise teenager I know, “Just…no.”)
That then led me to reflecting on the habits of non-human animals.
Not having access to kitchens, spatulas, or controlled heat, it’s comparatively more common to see a carnivorous animal eating another animal alive.
I was reflecting on how that is inherently relational. In other words, there are two subjectivities involved and interacting. Psychologically, this is the opposite of empathy.
As I sat, fixed in a low-level seethe of horror, it occurred to me that I might be reacting to the intensity of my current listening schedule/stack. (All of this had occurred over about a 7 to 9 minute time period.)
I remember that when I first started running Terminus and Terminus2 build tracks back in 2020, I was similarly drawn to macabre themes.
I’ll keep an eye on this type of ideation and see whether it increases, persists, or dissipates.
, maybe.