Haha thing is, I’m kinda overwhelmed with everything right now, in fact, right now I’m in a very very weird state of mind that I kinda haven’t experienced since a very long time.
Basically, I’m starting to feel like life has become repetitive, and I know things have been going amazingly well in my life, but somehow, somewhere, something is missing.
I feel like everyday, I just wake up 5:30am, go to work till 2pm, get lunch, play a hit, either go gym or out with my girl if it’s a rest day, then eat dinner, and then come home, play and sleep, and as much as I do have fun during those tasks, that’s all they feel to me, just tasks of my days that I have to get through.
I don’t get excited about new things, because I have this really deep faith in myself to always excel at whatever I do, and that things will always work out, because of which, I just “be”, and because of that, I feel like I’m just existing, not living, which leads me to “install a new persona” using customs, and then enjoy some new stimulation in life by exploring a different “me”, and then it becomes the norm, and then poof, back to just “being”.
So, I guess in a way, that’s why even though it’s a huge championship, which will even stick out like a golden event in my CV, I just feel like it’s just something that I have to do anyways.