@ksub, I began this post last night, and finished it this morning. I’ve been unmercifully hard on myself, and I’m running Emperor and LB presently.
I’m just seeing (and feeling) how hard I’ve been on myself. I’m facing my own cruelty towards myself.
Just part of me wonders “Could I ever love myself again?” I’m just posting this without all the answers.
Been there. A few years ago I deeply despised myself. I was just a fat, depressed, jobless pornaddict.
Weight didn’t change. But I did.
I now have a lovely fiancee, a first minijob, beat my pornaddiction and I started to embrace selflove. And that’s just the beginning.
You changed so much in the last couple of weeks. If I can make it, you can aswell.
@subliminalguy Sorry you’re going through that pain. We can be some of the most cruel and critical individuals in our lives towards ourselves.
For some of us giving love to ourselves is like trying to learn to ride a bike for the very first time. This is what I’m learning in my own life. So when it seems like love is impossible, the hard fact is I just haven’t practiced it enough. That’s really it. I’m gonna fall and it’s gonna be wonky as hell for a bit. But eventually it’ll be natural, I know it.
I think sometimes there’s a sort of lack of understanding from people who got this early self love mechanism embedded in them at a young age. It seems obvious and natural and they’d wonder why anyone else wouldn’t think like them. But it wasn’t a conscious choice to be that way towards ourselves.
Anyway I just want to say you’re not alone. I know how difficult this gets, hope things start getting better for you.
Those are two transformational subs that can hit deep. Take it easy and be consistent.
That is typical recon! Sometimes I go through similar things when deep change is coming. It feels like my soul is crying or like a panic attack coming from the depths of my being.
Basically, there is a part of you that’s trying to figure out how you could love yourself again. There is movement and growth is about to happen.
Random thought when mulling over my past and my future (under the influence of LB): “Take it easy on yourself, drop the anxiety, you’re going to be alright!”
This sub massively improves self-talk. 
This is definitely something I am experiencing with love bomb.
I find when I’m very unfamiliar with changes from a sub, I can have some surprising experiences.
LB was moving in me this morning, and I puked some recon here. Then I went to work.
We stopped at a gas station while heading to our first stop. I noticed this cute cashier who I’ve seen before, but didn’t catch her eye since other people were walking in.
I made my coffee and walked around the counter, and she passed by just then. Her eyes lit up, and simultaneously my heart lit up. I felt this thought in my heart saying “I could fall in love with her”. I also had this not normal impulse (for me) to seek her out. It wasn’t that scared pretentious mindset. It was just desire to be near her. I felt no fear–and that’s not normal for me either around women.
I didn’t chase or follow her. That would have been too much. But something opened in me and I hung on to that new desire for over an hour after leaving.
One big piece of my story here: I’ve never fallen in love before. It’s a beautiful idea, but it’s never happened to me. I was married for 10 years too, but I had walls around my heart big-time.
Seriously, I’ve never done or felt like that before.
These are the types of results that others will try to diminish, which usually frustrates me. As a writer, I already know how hard it is to convey such a result to people in a meaningful way, even though it sounds like this was something potentially life-changing for yourself. This result – which may appear “tiny” to others – can grow into something bigger and better that helps you express your inner life in a much more profound way.
Free food yesterday after a micro loop of new love bomb in the late afternoon. Let’s see where this takes me.
Happy for you.
Still waiting to see what LB manifests for me. Getting better about being patient.
Kind of normal stuff for me waking up…but not really.
I’m feeling two things this morning. Part of me wants to stay in bed–but I did 14 hours yesterday, a real rarity. But I also have this quiet excitement I’ve been feeling. Like I want to go out and explore.
Then there’s my old norm coming back, looking for its place. That was my original 1st point I came to write about, but I didn’t want to acknowledge it.
I’m glad that subtle excitement is there, because I know that old norm well. It’s not exciting. It’s a feeling of “safe”, which takes a lot of mental energy to keep up.
There’s just no life in it. It’s just hiding from life.
This new stuff is definitely more appealing.
I was just thinking this yesterday, and feel like I just can’t find the words to express what’s happening inside of me. It’s truly something truly special and I’m highly grateful for this title. I rest more peacefully at night knowing I am loved. 
I feel that it’s boosting all of the inner work I have done and continue with. 🥹♥️
So more authentic?
I once would have ran from certain opportunities because I didn’t feel good enough or confident enough.
I’m cohosting a free webinar (my first time) on Sunday, relating to grief and how it manifests in the body. The person who asked me is pretty amazing with lots of experience doing this sort of thing. They just recently got more advanced training in marketing and so generously want to share tips with me. They also invited me to co lead an 8 week yoga program already packaged and ready to go.
I attended a class at my gym recently and had an almost 1 hour conversation with the instructor after the class. She is involved with some sort of business in mentorship / coaching of local entrepreneurs. She invited me to meet up and talk about it more. She also said maybe her husband and brother can come and meet me. They are the leaders of the company. The old me would not go to something like that. I notice the inner critic trying to sabotage, but I am going for it anyways! What do I have to lose? Nothing. What do I have to gain? Experience!
Manifesting great opportunities and connections. I see how LB is boosting other titles I am currently listening to or have listened to in the past.
Random thought: when was the last time you wrote a deeply heartfelt love letter to yourself?
Yesterday actually I use this way a lot I learned from a book about journal writing . The method called unsent letters . Then I thought why not writing for my self also . But with love bomb the message are heartfelt
You just reminded me of an excellent book I should pick up again. One of the exercises was doing this.
Self compassion by Kristin Neff. I could not get through it a few years back because I hated myself so much. But this book is a really good roadmap for anyone struggling to know how to take action on LB.
The last page of my self love journal says the following:
Write yourself a love letter. Make it really mean something from your heart to your soul. Make a promise, make a wish. Your dharma is a promise to fulfil.
I’ll buy that one too.
