It’s a good idea, but instead of fiddling around with AI and it might work or not, I thought to ask.
1 Like
I did deep shadow work on @acid few weeks ago, it was quite an experience tbh. I stumbled upon an artist on Spotify called Peter Gundry, his music has very strong occult influence. I particularly felt a calling towards one of his albums called Goetia (back then I had no idea what it means) and I used it in my shadow work and came out completely transformed. Since then I’ve been feeling a strong urge to run Khan but I’ve always avoided it cz “it makes me angry”, but I started it again and boy oh boy, it brings out that adversarial spirit in me that can conquer the world, now I can truly feel it’s power and can channel my rage properly. It is the sub for me! I have also added AoW and Sage Immortal and it has turned me into a crazy wise strategist at work who doesn’t take shit from anyone yet understands you can’t just call someone an asshole, but instead play chess moves to play the power game. Oh btw, I also started learning chess after that shadow work session. Now I’ve been reading more and more about Goetia and other related stuff.
6 Likes
Just checked this out, sounds absolutely terrifying to listen to on acid lol.
1 Like
I stumbled upon him 10 years ago while in my deepest depression and burnout.
His music was very fitting for my mental state.
Only at a point I noticed that it made me even more depressed.
I even thought his music had demonic qualities.
Still, I love especially his dark vampire waltz
2 Likes
I chose his music for that specific reason and discovered an incredible source of power within me as I stayed with the fear… I also had visions of me as shadow child holding hands with lilith and lucifer which gave me the knowledge that my parents suppressed shadow is them and they nurtured me all throughout my childhood so one day I could connect with that shadow and merge it into me. Now if I feel fear, I go “ooo you got incredible power over me, I allow myself to reclaim that power now” and I feel a sense of power that could instill fear, i feel lust and do the same, i become lust, my wife who used to be super bully is now very feminine and seeks my approval and says I am so intelligent and she finds it sexy (she never talked this way before)… Shadow integration really helps these subs from what i’ve noticed, cz then you don’t get in the way
Edit: So iam now noticing that my rage has started to become more sophisticated… iam starting to go up levels if someone tries to bully me, i make arguments, i stay calm yet respond from a place of power… i self stimulate myself to connect with Lust and feel it’s power and I become lust, and as soon as I do that I feel like a natural control over if I want to let that energy flow through me or bust out of me in the primal way, Khan develops a very deep level of Will which helps you command on a very deep level… I now really feel like I am “choosing” … Slowly all daily regrets (oh i should have said that, done that) are fading away, every mistake is becoming a data point and iam starting to get a thrill out of it, cz it means il be better next time… It’s a weird feeling tbh, i used to attach guilt and shame to all this earlier… now I am an asshole if the circumstances call for it.
3 Likes
Goetia got me started/manifested subliminal journey.
There is one spirit known for alchemical transformation of lead into gold refering to inner qualities.
And since then i found DR and been moving in direction of my set intentions for a long while, so it definitely works. Tho im not much into occult anymore.
3 Likes
I’ll be honest I am very tempted to add EB to the mix 
… i used to get horrible recon from Khan, EB, Emperor and all of these alpha subs… now I want More!
2 Likes
How do I do shadow integration?
You gotta stand in a bright light so you can see your shadow, then you gotta catch it and sew it back onto you like in Peter pan.
4 Likes
Sounds like how to fly from HHG2TG
1 Like
Dragon Reborn would help a lot with this. It’s the process of confronting and dealing with the “shadow” or “hidden” parts of your psyche and personality.
Many peoples shadows contain self-sabotage, violence, and all manner of nastiness.
It’s the parts of our self’s too taboo to feel like we can safely face.
1 Like
By becoming aware of what all lurk in the shadows that have power over you… then identifying them… them acknowledging them… and then finally, admiring their ability to have power over you. The more you admire, the more you understand, the more you understand, the more you become, the more you become, the more you start to take the reigns in your own hands. The demons soon become yours to command, they don’t go away, they were always a part of you and will always be a part of you. You just get to choose when to let them loose.
Until you can feel the power of your adversary, you will remain conquered by it. To feel it, you must stare into the abyss long enough.
6 Likes
Existential Kink by Carolyn Eliot is a good book on shadow integration / work.
2 Likes
“The Dice Man” is a humorous novel overall. But it’s basically about Shadow Work through doing things one wouldn’t “normally” do and “trying on” new identities.
This one is gonna be very personal. A DOOZY one might even say. Extremely long too, writing in hindsight.
Delayed this message for a while and not sure as to why, and this message applies to both khan st1 and khan black st1, but I’ll write it here only.
I have recently understood about myself, that I have a very strong fear deep down in me, of taking.
Now what do I mean by this? Well, I love giving, I enjoy it very much and I do not need a reason to give someone I love something, I also do not need anything back.
Giving can be many things: advice general help, attention, sexual acts, gifts… It can come in many forms, and I never have trouble with them, I even enjoy them.
I loathe taking. I am a man who is fairly independant, and even though I have yet to exit my parents’ house, I loathe getting any type of help from them, if it’s for my benefit.
I am afraid to ask for help, I want to rely only on myself, I wish I could do it all.
I am afraid of taking sexual acts from women, even when deep down inside, I know that there are plenty of women that want to give, or be taken. This one specifically I attribute to two things:
1- being exposed to radical feminism through school teachers, being shamed for my sexuality along with intense fear mongering men sexuality in general
2- being overly sheltered by my mother, being fed lies by her about having to be nice, never take without asking, never cuss etc. which in the end, only made me fear expression, fear other kids that were highly expressive, shun myself from those individuals and end up friendless althroughout my childhood etc.
The only time I am okay with taking is when I convince myself I “earned it”, and that is most likely due to my upbringing.
I was a rather quiet kid, my parents thought I was a mute until about age 6, family flew to the U.S and suddenly I spoke english extremely well.
I know I was not a problematic kid, and yet I was treated as one, as a nuisance, as the black sheep of the family (3 kids, me being in the middle, very typical), I could easily tell that my parents’ attitude and affection towards me would change and only be positive when I got good grades in school or studied. I could see them doing the same to my brothers.
I suffered a lot of child abuse throughout the years by my parents, one instance even being sexual at the age of 3-4, a core memory that ruined me deep down, and even though it was not what might come to mind, and it had medical reasons for it, the damage was done.
I’ve also been beat my by big brother which never got punished, annoyed by my little brother endlessly which never got taken away.
I remember three core memories: I remember that my younger brother would bug me endlessly, I always asked my parents to take him and they wouldn’t, he annoyed me to the point I would cry, and only then did they tell me that next time it happens I’ll tell them and they’ll take him away.
Next time came, nothing’s changed, I told them a few times and they ended up yelling at me for annoying them.
I remember another time where I punched my little brother and my parents immediately yelled at me and punished me, something that never happened when my big brother did it to me, ever.
I remember calling him a slur once and facing the same treatment.
It really felt like I was cornered from all sides.
Throughout the years I would try to converse with them and being open and vulnerable but it would only end up in pain, in true narcissistic fashion they would turn all the blame onto me, the little kid that knew no better.
I was the one who rebelled at age 13 onward, I had to yell back at my father when he abused my grandmother, I was the one to put him in his place and defended the ones that unlike me were weak and could not handle the abuse, and I was the one to put the middle finger up to their behavior.
I told them I hated them to their face, told them that once I leave I’m never coming back, made my mom cry and it felt so good, this is for sure where my extreme emotional sadism comes from.
Obviously I was a complete wreck at school, I remember my life back then like a feral beast being cornered with fight or flight mode constantly choosing fight.
Later on in life I still had a lot of issues, and I still feel like an alien to this day, but I atleast got control over myself, and it just might be too much control as over compensation, it is hard for me to let go and enjoy like the average human.
My experiences shaped me to be a very intense person that more often than not needs that intensity to feel that something is real. I have extremely hard times bonding with people that can kickback and move on with life, it feels like they never had something truly traumatic, it feels like they like in a whole nother planet.
Due to my intensity and my lack of normality, whenever I did try taking, I either felt extremely uncomfortable in a traumatic way or hurt someone, and I, due to my experiences want to do my absolute best to not hurt people, even when deep down I am very much filled with hatred and have to mask myself basically 99% of the time when outside.
I really lost the point I was initially trying to make, but I guess acknowledging all of this for now is enough, I am a real wreck of a person, man.
I guess the saying “The world is yours for the taking” is the best way to look at it, I know my potential, but my parents ripped out my wings and forced their fear of failure at every turn. The world is mine for the taking but every part of it terrifies me.
I am looking at apartments to move to with a friend, once I move out of my parents’ house it’ll be time for stage 2 of the khans.
16 Likes
Modue Achilless Heal
Brave to share and confront, face your shadows.
Time to reclaim power and transmute those experiences and energy into fuel.
4 Likes
Insight 
I have super slow results with Khan, because my action was low and it takes time for me to integrate those lessons. I’m finishing Khan ST1 for the 8th time since 2022 this coming Friday.
Breakthrough Hypothesis:
Khan ST2 + Limitless = Mental Khan interface with strong visualization.
Emperor Executive has identity level shifting and it’s a booster for many things.
Khan ST2 + Limitless + Emperor Executive = Enhanced Khan integration.
11 Likes
I think I figured the reason for the sudden break down, did 2 loops of each, or rather, I did ky normal 1 loop of each but instead of riding it out I treated them like normal subs, waited one day and did another 1 loop of each, needless to say everywhere I go I am faced with my crippling social anxiety and hatred towards the place I live in.
Needless to say, I gotta get away from here asap and hit st2. won’t be able to heal in a place that constantly retraumatizes me.
3 Likes
Are you keeping track of your rating, or just playing casually?
I was using Limitless to advance my Chess rating in Rapid, and I found that the strategy of Khan also seems to help.
1 Like