If I were to attribute much of what I have been thinking, feeling, and doing for the last one week to RM since I started to listen to it, I would say there’s a lot of things packed in here.
Positives:
- Been feeling productive with a growing discomfort with regard to procrastination. This does not necessarily mean I have become super productive though. I usually work in short bursts of productivity and achieve a lot in a relatively short period of time. On the flip side that means that I always wait for the deadline to get closer…lol. I’m just getting less comfortable with that mindset now.
- Been waking up earlier than the usual time in the morning. However that still doesn’t mean I jump out of bed raring to go. I slump back out of the fear that I might crash later in the day if I woke up so early.
- By the end of the week, I was sending notes of appreciation to colleagues and even to those higher to me in hierarchy. Somehow felt politics (of the positive kind) is as critical as hard work. The thing is, I rarely do that. That was definitely some new behavior from my side. I usually have the mindset that my work should speak for itself.
- The speakers on my TV sound better, I don’t know if anyone changed the setting, but somehow the sound in richer and more pleasurable, don’t know how to describe it. I also had a new appreciation for birds chirping outside my window, almost as if they were doing it for my pleasure. I usually ignore them lol
- There is product that has been sitting on my bath shelf for a long time, with the face of a model that I never paid much attention to. One moment this week when I glanced at it, I somehow sensed a lot of emotional pain and trauma in her face. Weirded me out.
Negatives:
Don’t know why, but I am being repeatedly reminded of specific low-points/negative-milestone in my life. Things that happened way far back in the past that have no relevance today. But these thoughts keep creeping up on me even as I say to myself that I have changed a lot and that’s not me anymore. This could be some total breakdown or dragon reborn stuff, I don’t know.