That’s a big part of it. I now know that my hesitation was because I knew both mentally and emotionally that it was going to be difficult
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I feel like the biggest thing I have finally been able to address since starting Phoenix is thinking and believing that everything in life should be fair. The fact that it isn’t was a major problem for me. Not that I could do anything about whatever it was other than complain or whine about it.
I was far from rational about this for most of my life. Endlessly comparing my life or the lifestyle of my Wife and myself to others. We know that’s the fastest way to make yourself miserable but I did it anyway. I never really considered the difference in situation , income , or whatever that made it possible for others to be able to afford things or go on vacations or whatever while I was working all the time and had to be frugal by necessity.
It drove me nuts and I probably made my Wife miserable by always complaining about it. I didn’t understand that me doing this was creating unnecessary tension between my Wife and I because she felt I considered it her fault that our lives were like this because she isn’t able to work because she’s disabled and we are still fighting to get her on disability. I never said anything to that but I now see how and why she felt that way.
I don’t think I ever really wanted what other people have. I thought then as I do now that it was always about options and opportunities.
Phoenix has helped me be OK with things that used to make me crazy or at least a bit crazier than I was at whatever moment. It’s difficult to accept that you’re just not meant to have a be certain things. I always thought I wanted to take Jiu Jitsu and I did long enough to realize I didn’t actually want to. I just had a brief moment in time where it seemed like a fun idea.
I now feel that a huge part of growing and maturing isn’t just about doing things you have always wanted to do but also having the restraint to be OK with not going after something or even someone.
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Gonna run this with KhanSt2 + EoGSt2 beginning next month, rebirth into the financial alpha.
Anyone noticed physical body heat on this?
Like radiating lots of body heat.
Ran a three minute loop yesterday and woke up today in a really bad mood for most of the day so far. Not sure what else to do at this point. May take tomorrow off as well and not run anything until at least Thursday.
@SaintSovereign @Fire @AnswerGroup @Forum_Ambassadors
Any suggestions?
Thank you in advance
Take as many rest days as you need to. You will be fine soon.
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What I do when I feel this way is to remind myself of the impermanence of it all, and not get to attached to it. Emotions come and they go that’s just the flow of things, and just as a gentle reminder, even if you have to write it in big letters on the wall to remember. So that way to me at least it is so much easier to just accept the mood, because that’s the truth right now, so why fight it? Just remembering is usually the hardest part, but even that can become a habit.
And also you are working on deep stuff as we all are here in Subclub, so a bad mood is a sign of progress isn’t it?. Frame it in a better way… thinking back to your post earlier about reframing.
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Go outside and take a walk, get some sun. Handle what you can handle and enjoy some rest.
Is my advice.
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Did start yesterday a new cycle without Phoenix.
I did a 10 day washout before this new cycle.
The Amount of Changes from Phoenix is incredible. The blooming since 11 days is deluxe.
I changed in so many ways and am grateful for this experience.
The most important thing besides breaking 4 different traumas to non existence is that I have started to understand the importance of taking action so that the scripts/subs can truly start to work.
Thank you Subliminalclub - I start to see a way, where pitch black darkness was is now a feeling that there is a way even for me.
Efxaristo
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Similar response from me.
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Take a walk
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Process your bad mood.
Ask yourself what these feelings might be “about”. There’s often a story connected to the feelings. A subconscious narrative that’s organizing your perceptions. ‘Life is such-and-such.’ ‘I am so-and-so.’
Identify the story, accept that it’s in you, and then use your actions and words to speak back to the story; changing it.
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I really found myself questioning, “Why is life unfair?” and it got me emotional. I still haven’t found an answer to the same, but let’s see
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A guy I consider to have some wisdom told me years and years ago something that I didn’t understand at the time and still somewhat confuses me:
“Fair? Fare is what you pay to get into the amusement park. Why are you looking for fair?”
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This is my fourth day since starting Phoenix and I can say this sub has a strong no bullshit effect on me, it’s not interested in kidding around with stuff that aren’t right so to speak, this is how it’s breaking a lot of falsehood within me but it’s also spilling out into my external world.
I’ve had a few interactions today at work some spoken and others unspoken where people get to know clearly what’s up and what their role in our interaction is supposed to be, it’s like either because of how I express myself or simply my presence wakes people up from their slumber/laziness. The ones that are already awake showed respect. This sub is stimulating a lot my masculine side so far.
This sub is no joke and it really feels intense and quick acting, like it’s saying ‘there’s no time to waste anymore, the wait is over, your bullshit excuses are done, you’re gonna change now!’
The only way to slow down its progress is to listen to it less, I feel like there’s no escape otherwise.
I’ve listened to a total of 2 loops, one 5min and another 10min, I will wait quite a few days before my next listen I tell you that. Change is scary but oh so freeing.
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11 days after the last loop it got so dark the last couple of days that today was the first day I smoked a little bit of hash and it turned to a nightmare with happy ending.
It was like problem after problem crawled to the surface the last 11 days until it got so dark that I had to flee from the people I was with.
I was in the darkest of places without any help for 30 min, I was swearing that I will never ever touch drugs again, never let somebody abuse me, never abuse other, shooting the hate away, let go of arrogance and agrandement, treat my friends from now on as super precious, treat myself good and love myself and so much more shit until it buried me, all of a sudden I saw a candle made out of white light (in my minds eye) I grabbed the candle and I heard myself saying : as long as you let this flame burn you can go through every situation.
Now after 3 hours of talking with one of my friends I feel the flames of a star is burning.
PHOENIX is the strongest most brutal and most effective healing sub I ever expirienced.
Thank you
Thank you
Thank you Subliminalclub
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For those using Phoenix, use this when recon occurs.
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I’m still on my first cycle with KB 1.
I’m really looking to add another title but will only keep that new title at 30 seconds. I’ve still been trying to get myself to take Heartsong for a spin. It really comes down to Phoenix or Chosen: The Way of Nature. I’m kind of planning to maybe go with QL once I get stage 4 KB under my belt.
So in the meantime I really think I will try out Phoenix but just go really slow with it. 30 seconds the entire first cycle. But at the same time I already have CWON but Phoenix still wins out because even though I know I’ll have rough times on it, it’ll just help everything else work better.
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So far it’s a lot less rough than I thought it would be.
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What a beast of a Subliminal
Its now 14 days after the last loop and since 4 days I am thrown into the blackest of holes daily
Today it happened again I felt all of a sudden lonely then start crying rivers, then unbearable pain and darkness overcomes me, this time I am prepared I pull out my candle ( it got bigger and stronger) and expirienced the song of Death. Somwhere in my underworld I wanted to die.
I put the candle in the face of Suicide and start deconstruct it completely until I saw a skull of death. With complete authority I told the skull : you are powerless from now - I am the the ruler here. So I grabbed the skull and pulled it out of my Energetic body and crush it.
The candle transformed into a blazing white fire and I saw myself with hands in the air and the white fire like wings behind me
I have risen out of darkness and I I feel stable like a pillar
In my stack is a Khan Black st4 & Sanguine custom and I do 15 min loops. I believe that Khan Black is providing massive amounts of energy for healing.
Also since 14 days I love my inner child and I sustain love to my wounded child self l
What a Masterpiece
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