I will build one, once all the necessary cores are upgraded. But I will take it step by step. First a ZP custom, then once I’m happy with all the modules (tested them with ZP) I will upgrade to QTKS.
The problem is that building a custom feels like work to me xD
Procrastination…
Just pay someone to do it for you 
Naah. It’s my brain. I’m responsible for it. I’m working on it, little by little.
But how would you know which module is doing what, because you are a hard gainer after all and this process can take months, even more. And even after a long time you probably won’t be sure what is what doing. And with QTKS you will at least know if it is better than normal classic ZP with not your voice or is it the same.
And I think one, two, or three bad placed modules is better to have and just know whether QTKS is working much faster, than spending half of the year and maybe more to figure out ZP custom.
It’s a marathon, not a sprint.
I’m doing well enough. I don’t actually need the subs. I can afford to take it slowly.
Edit: That, and no one is going to tell me what to do 
Another edit: Where’s the info on how to order a QTKS? I do have one custom ready based on Emperor and Minds Eye I could possibly use for this.
A new log about Phoenix:
Did you ever try RoM for this or perhaps RoS?
I would imagine that it might help understanding this part of you better, especially with Phoenix.
Its not an option in the store. The link is only here in the forum, so go in the QTKS thread, there you should find it.
Will Phoenix increase Prana energy ?
Why do you think Iit will?
Running this solo for now. Dropping to three minute loops as well. I love how this makes me feel. As a neurodivergent this helps me feel what I would probably consider the closest to whatever " normal" feels like or is.
I’ve also started running this solo for a bit as well. The choice was influenced after I started reading Existential Kink by Carolyn Elliott, which I have to thank a couple people on the forum who I saw post about this in the past month (@TheEmpress I believe you were one of them). Since it’s all about shadow work, PHOENIX felt like a perfect companion. I recommend the books exercises (especially “Deepest Fear Inventory” and “Beat Yourself Up”) for anyone running PHOENIX… consider it a “taking action” companion
Oh and @James I believe I recall you recommending the book “It’s On Me” by Sara Kuburic in a thread. I also read that and loved it, thank you for sharing it.
So far it has been very smooth for me. Really intense dreams. Sometimes I can’t recall them after I wake but I just know that they were significant. The book is shining a whole new light on existentialism for me, definitely embraces a more absurdist outlook which I have been drawn to this past year of healing. I’ve read lots of Nietzsche, Kierkegaard, Jung over the last 20 years but sometimes it can start to feel really heavy. Carolyn Elliott does a really great job of putting a modern spin on it and showing you how the philosophy can be more practical. Also appreciate her outlook on magick, which is putting me back in touch with a part of me that’s been pretty dormant.
Shadow work was always very intimidating to me and previously I would only scratch the surface. With the book + Phoenix I dove into the abyss and am having a blast, laughing all the way.
Solve et Coagula
“To first utterly dissolve (solve) an existing form and then to carefully bring the dissolved and purified elements together again (coagula) in a whole new, more potent and finely organized, permutation.”
I haven’t finished it yet but I will. I’m not a Millennial but it looked like an interesting read.
I haven’t read that but I will check it out. Thank you
This is another book worth reading
I picked this up after watching part of an interview with him on YouTube
I actually sometimes envy people that have known their entire lives what they wanted or wanted to do. I had no clue and still feel that way sometimes. Now it’s more about what makes the most sense rather than if it’s something I really want to do. It’s frustrating but whatever. I’m not in a hurry anymore.
Yep! I shared it awhile back.
All her books are amazing. Her second book seems like it’s about Shadow Work. Although her other book I posted a link to felt that way at times as well. I seriously struggle with learning to love myself even though I’m sure getting there would change my life completely. I always heard growing up and even later that a person has to love themselves before they can love anyone else. That’s not entirely true but if a person wants a healthy low drama relationship than yeah you can’t wrong with making loving yourself a priority.
I struggled with this because I didn’t see that how I felt or feel about myself made me seek out and attract the exact opposite of what I knew I really wanted .
Love is the most natural thing in existence in the universe, I think it’s less about trying to love ourselves and more about reducing how much we hate ourselves.
It’s a balance but if you can pull off being able to love yourself it definitely makes life a bit easier.
I heard that too growing up. I made a video on that before. Wish I could find it!
I feel that we can actively work on inner self love while with another companion who is also doing the work too.
She definitely gets into shadow work and inner child healing within all of her content.
She was a blessing in my life when finding her in 2018.
Learning to love all of our parts. To be compassionate and essentially reparent those parts of ourselves who still feels wounded.
