Why do you think Iit will?
Running this solo for now. Dropping to three minute loops as well. I love how this makes me feel. As a neurodivergent this helps me feel what I would probably consider the closest to whatever " normal" feels like or is.
3 Likes
I’ve also started running this solo for a bit as well. The choice was influenced after I started reading Existential Kink by Carolyn Elliott, which I have to thank a couple people on the forum who I saw post about this in the past month (@TheEmpress I believe you were one of them). Since it’s all about shadow work, PHOENIX felt like a perfect companion. I recommend the books exercises (especially “Deepest Fear Inventory” and “Beat Yourself Up”) for anyone running PHOENIX… consider it a “taking action” companion 
Oh and @James I believe I recall you recommending the book “It’s On Me” by Sara Kuburic in a thread. I also read that and loved it, thank you for sharing it.
So far it has been very smooth for me. Really intense dreams. Sometimes I can’t recall them after I wake but I just know that they were significant. The book is shining a whole new light on existentialism for me, definitely embraces a more absurdist outlook which I have been drawn to this past year of healing. I’ve read lots of Nietzsche, Kierkegaard, Jung over the last 20 years but sometimes it can start to feel really heavy. Carolyn Elliott does a really great job of putting a modern spin on it and showing you how the philosophy can be more practical. Also appreciate her outlook on magick, which is putting me back in touch with a part of me that’s been pretty dormant.
Shadow work was always very intimidating to me and previously I would only scratch the surface. With the book + Phoenix I dove into the abyss and am having a blast, laughing all the way.
Solve et Coagula
“To first utterly dissolve (solve) an existing form and then to carefully bring the dissolved and purified elements together again (coagula) in a whole new, more potent and finely organized, permutation.”
5 Likes
I haven’t finished it yet but I will. I’m not a Millennial but it looked like an interesting read.
I haven’t read that but I will check it out. Thank you
This is another book worth reading
I picked this up after watching part of an interview with him on YouTube
3 Likes
I actually sometimes envy people that have known their entire lives what they wanted or wanted to do. I had no clue and still feel that way sometimes. Now it’s more about what makes the most sense rather than if it’s something I really want to do. It’s frustrating but whatever. I’m not in a hurry anymore.
6 Likes
Yep! I shared it awhile back.
2 Likes
All her books are amazing. Her second book seems like it’s about Shadow Work. Although her other book I posted a link to felt that way at times as well. I seriously struggle with learning to love myself even though I’m sure getting there would change my life completely. I always heard growing up and even later that a person has to love themselves before they can love anyone else. That’s not entirely true but if a person wants a healthy low drama relationship than yeah you can’t wrong with making loving yourself a priority.
I struggled with this because I didn’t see that how I felt or feel about myself made me seek out and attract the exact opposite of what I knew I really wanted .
2 Likes
Love is the most natural thing in existence in the universe, I think it’s less about trying to love ourselves and more about reducing how much we hate ourselves.
2 Likes
It’s a balance but if you can pull off being able to love yourself it definitely makes life a bit easier.
2 Likes
I heard that too growing up. I made a video on that before. Wish I could find it!
I feel that we can actively work on inner self love while with another companion who is also doing the work too.
She definitely gets into shadow work and inner child healing within all of her content.
She was a blessing in my life when finding her in 2018.
2 Likes
Learning to love all of our parts. To be compassionate and essentially reparent those parts of ourselves who still feels wounded.
Having been here a couple of years and reading your entries, this line right here speaks to some change that you’ve gone through.
4 Likes
That’s a big part of it. I now know that my hesitation was because I knew both mentally and emotionally that it was going to be difficult
2 Likes
I feel like the biggest thing I have finally been able to address since starting Phoenix is thinking and believing that everything in life should be fair. The fact that it isn’t was a major problem for me. Not that I could do anything about whatever it was other than complain or whine about it.
I was far from rational about this for most of my life. Endlessly comparing my life or the lifestyle of my Wife and myself to others. We know that’s the fastest way to make yourself miserable but I did it anyway. I never really considered the difference in situation , income , or whatever that made it possible for others to be able to afford things or go on vacations or whatever while I was working all the time and had to be frugal by necessity.
It drove me nuts and I probably made my Wife miserable by always complaining about it. I didn’t understand that me doing this was creating unnecessary tension between my Wife and I because she felt I considered it her fault that our lives were like this because she isn’t able to work because she’s disabled and we are still fighting to get her on disability. I never said anything to that but I now see how and why she felt that way.
I don’t think I ever really wanted what other people have. I thought then as I do now that it was always about options and opportunities.
Phoenix has helped me be OK with things that used to make me crazy or at least a bit crazier than I was at whatever moment. It’s difficult to accept that you’re just not meant to have a be certain things. I always thought I wanted to take Jiu Jitsu and I did long enough to realize I didn’t actually want to. I just had a brief moment in time where it seemed like a fun idea.
I now feel that a huge part of growing and maturing isn’t just about doing things you have always wanted to do but also having the restraint to be OK with not going after something or even someone.
9 Likes
5 Likes
Gonna run this with KhanSt2 + EoGSt2 beginning next month, rebirth into the financial alpha.
Anyone noticed physical body heat on this?
Like radiating lots of body heat.
Ran a three minute loop yesterday and woke up today in a really bad mood for most of the day so far. Not sure what else to do at this point. May take tomorrow off as well and not run anything until at least Thursday.
@SaintSovereign @Fire @AnswerGroup @Forum_Ambassadors
Any suggestions?
Thank you in advance
Take as many rest days as you need to. You will be fine soon.
2 Likes