Finishing up on my second cycle with Emperor ZP.
I’ve also added paragon this cycle
1 loop and testing 2 loops this final week
Paragons effects are very distinct and I will write about that in my new journal.
I do think some of the healing in Paragon supported the Emperor’s transformation more
Here I will report my latest experience with Emperor ZP.
I think I am just now getting to the really good stuff with Emperor. It’s starting to feel like I am becoming a completely different person/my best self more fully. LIke I’ve been born again.
I will list some of these realizations that I feel I am starting to embody
- What matters is now and what’s next not what happened or how things have been
- I can be angry at shit I don’t like in my life and that can empower me like fuel to change things (it doesn’t need to be resentment, depression, or self-destructive anger)
- Not everything needs to be a heartfelt relationship or clean, even though I value those things. some people and situations are meant to be treated with distance and/ or professionally, or things will get messy.
- I am the only one ultimately who will look out for me or make what I want to happen- happen in life
- I’d rather be doing things and executing- than ideating, overthinking, stalling
- Make decisions fast
- Feeling bad for myself, regretting, resenting, or wishing things were different is all a waste of time and diminishes my power
- There’s nothing to figure out anymore-just things to do or not do
- While the action is important- thinking and seeing things differently- and being different can change everything in an instant
- Even though money is important to me it’s something I have a habit of drifting away from focusing on and committing to improving consistently. I don’t need to then say it’s not important or I am not committed- it’s just something to keep coming back to focusing on improving
- It’s ok to do my own thing and better to be alone than with a company that doesn’t support in bringing out my best self.
- I really really want success in every area of my life- and didn’t even realize how much I want that and how driven I am for it. I just was pretending I didn’t out of fear I couldn’t make it happen.
In terms of practical results-externally or behaviourally
- Men are treating me with a lot of respect again
- There is often clear chemistry with a woman -I feel very comfortable in my dominance and sexuality around woman
- Internal confidence is very high
- I am increasingly preferring challenges and engaging things rather than taking the easy route-especially if there is a benefit on the other side
- I am much stronger and cleaner in my boundaries in relationships-close and professionally.
- I say what there is to say and have been letting subtle people-pleasing behaviors go
- I’m choosing myself and looking for what I need to do differently to have different results more and more-
- I’m really dealing through getting coaching, therapy, resolving family issues, internal work on all these things that have been undermining my ability to succeed in purpose, career, and finance.
- As of this week intense drive to work out again- so have started gym again and despite lifting way less than usual- the sessions feel fulfilling, intense, I want to scream in the best way while work out, the passion is there and people look at me like I’m lifting crazy weights when I am not currently (will get back there
)
Recon
- Intense anger and agitation at points
- Sense of complete disdain towards certain things in my life
- Trouble working in certain situations
All of this is happening in a way where it feels deeply organic and permanent (as far as one can ‘feel’ permanence- it doesn’t feel like an effect but like an experience, I’ve gone through and there is no going back)
I want to test some other ZP’s but am enjoying the steady progress with Emperor.