I just posted this in my journal, and I thought I’d share it here. I’m using LBFHX with Limit Destroyer and Emperor X. I did the latter 2 yesterday.
It’s a listening day, but it’s the early AM, and ZP hypes me, so I’ll wait until the morning. I came to write about an Emperor explosion I had a couple of hours ago.
To cut to the point, I blasted my bitcoin miner tonight since I am absolutely frustrated with him sabotaging success every time it’s time to withdraw. Just this week, he asked how I felt about us about to finally free it from the exchange, and my reply was “I’m kind of nervous”. In my mind, I quickly minimized and avoided obvious goofs he’s done at this point numerous times, though I eeked out a remembrance that he’d dropped the ball a couple of times.
And tonight, he admitted to another goof that lit me up, possibly postponing our withdrawal (AGAIN). I feel it’s intentional, and I blasted him. I know it was Emperor taking charge since I told him I couldn’t work with someone who malevolently f***s up continuously. At the end of my email, I said “goodbye (his name)”
It’s a shitload of money, but we’ve been in this cycle for 4 years now, and haven’t pulled a dime of it. I’d rather have less but have peace knowing someone’s not quietly barricading access to it constantly. I’ve been putting my own money in weekly, while constantly eyeing another crypto business I’ve known of for a while, and I have funds to join with half a paycheck using a payment plan. But profits are dependable and constant with it. It offers a number of trading bots.
Immediately after I blasted him, self-doubt popped up. Me wondering “do I do this TOO?” It did make me think. I realized there’s some spiritual component in Emperor, even if it just opens the doorway to looking through that lens (vs. direct scripting). I used to do this same practice in 12-step meetings, where I put my judgment hammer down by asking “why is this really bothering me?” Likely since I’ve had similar fears and avoidance strategies. I just used him to throw my blame and anger onto.
That’s what Emperor taught me tonight. I can act like an a**hole. I can also learn from it.
It does take the judgment hammer off of myself when I get honest with what I’m doing.