Yeah, Saint calls it “the cry of the soul”. I’ve experienced it a couple of times but not on Ascension and I don’t really remember when I experienced it for the last time.
Edit:
Of course, it’s a form of recon.
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idk if my experience with Wanted is congruent with your Ascension experience, but on Wanted ZP sometimes I felt so weak, broken and alone, I was literally almost to cry.
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Same recon I had on Wanted LOL
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Feels exactly like that mate.
Did it pass?
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I had the same experience as well especially in the beginning. Being easy and honest with myself helped a lot, at least it did for me
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yes, now I’m much better with this, after 4 cycles of using the title. The first time the community helped me to deal with this.
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Ascension needs some love so I am putting this here.
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@Alphamale let’s continue this discussion here as it relates more to Ascension.
Honestly, I feel like Ascension is a problematic archetype. I must admit, these programs do change you and do so very naturally, it is supposed to change you in a way that is beneficial and more “positive” as you were before.
On Ascension, if I do not consciously tame it, I can get extremely blunt, wild, arrogant, offensive, direct.
And it all comes naturally, as who I truly am.
I do not see that as a “positive” change, HOWEVER, it does help me to set firm boundaries, to act my will out in the world absent from shame, fear, guilt.
But it does not have a filter WHATSOEVER.
If you look at Sathguru, yes he is empowered, first of all he does not take offense, his inner world is his, and none controls it. When someone misbehaves are tries to control him, he has the same power as Ascension, he is able to assert his will.
The difference is this…
He does it in a way that is likeable, acceptable, he is kind, humble, warm. So while asserting his will, he never offends another person or gets aggressive, nor angry, nor blunt, he gives it a form that speaks to the heart of that other person.
So it is power with love—and creates a beautiful balance.
It’s innate to Ascension, and honestly while it is an empowering program I feel it needs more of a filter such as with Chosen — being loving, kind, warm, caring while being strong, and powerful.
That makes a person whole and perfect.
This obviously depends on the person.
I am saying this because I am listening to Ascension and I am more assertive and absolutely not blunt, wild, arrogant or offensive. On the contrary, I am even better at convos with people. Ppl talk to me with more enthusiasm and our convo is longer and more interesting.
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To clarify,
Wild here means that I behave different from the imposed societal standards, and mannerisms by which a person is expected to behave.
I live according my own principles and standards. I’m not TAMED. I’m wild.
I’m not arrogant, but at times when reconciliation hits and someone tells me what to do, or how to live, what to believe, if someone imposes there believes on me as truth, I feel angry, and internally have this arrogance where I feel I know better.
Blunt, I can be direct and say things without colouring them or making them sounds less “direct” this also accounts for the offense, or what others may perceive as offense. It’s hard to complement people because what I see a positive can sound like harsh or direct to them because people have so many insecurities it’s insane.
So that’s that.
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1st- Sadhguru is not always nice at all, he is cocky sometimes, I was very much into him.
2nd: Being secure in your core plays a crucial part, eg. Being a nice guy in an insecure way will repel people.
You want that kind of attraction? Go with love bomb, LBFH…
3rd: Being an Alphamale is ALWAYS problematic and if you wanna be dominant, problems will emerge as means to test you, you either pass them and establish dominance and power or fail and people will know you have no power inside.
Consider stark, it’s more leaned towards the passive/feminine side.
PCC is kinda balanced in behaving towards other people.
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Ascension did not have this much effect on me AT ALL, maybe Khan did.
But PCC is my favorite sub of all time. It’s soo realistic, you are sooooo a normal person, yet sooo respected. There is this common sense in you on PCC.
Again be aware of recon, I guess you ran WNATED, maybe it’s WANTED’s bluntness.
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I find it really interesting. If one is his or her true self then there is no debate, some would say even, no choice in what actions they perform or engage in.
So being one’s “true” self is not a matter of conflict. No conflict of to do or not to do.
Lately something on my mind is the concept of consequence. Maybe just something I need more meditation on myself, when I think the “other” needs deeper understanding.
From my journal
The Power of Ascension
So yesterday I kept having the urge to cut loose and by that, basically that means goin out to a bar and drinking heavy. I have done this in the past and now I can go hard once in a while and be fine, without worry of loosing control and being a heavy drinker again.
Now the bar was pretty fun, I bullshitted with some people, tried flirting with a girl but she was just looking for attention from everyone and anyone so I just kept it platonic, and plus she was pretty far gone. Ended closing out the bar and went home for the night. So nothing crazy sub wise happened last night until this morning.
Last night was a full on representation of my old ways through and through and while I have no fear of going back to my old ways, I had some very deep realizations on how last night correlates with who I am now.
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I understand how far I have come and changed. I no now that all of those actions are in the past.
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I can understand one of the big reasons why I had so many issues with women for years is that I was looking for women at a bar cause I was always at one. While I was desperate, deep down I always knew those types of girls generally aren’t worth it to begin with, and if they were they 9/10 times had boyfriends.
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Goin with point 2 I have decided to put romance/sex off, possibly until next year. I want to focus fully on my schooling, building my future, and fitness.
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While I have mentioned some of these before, last night changed everything. Walking my dark path for a bit I know now that my old negative foundation is gone. It’s time for a new one, and Ascension is making me realize that on a very deep level.
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Motivation came back stronger than ever. Seeing the path ahead of me will be challenging however I am fully embracing this path.
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One source of motivation is that I want to inspire change in others. If I can go from a heavy drinker to someone who controls himself, someone who lacked a plan to someone about to graduate school, someone who put women on a pedestal to someone who respects himself, a person who hated himself to someone who loves himself, riddled with anxiety and negative outlook to an optimistic man with emotional control.
If I can turn my life around this much a lot of people can do the same. I am 28 now and lately I have been getting thoughts of helping the next generation as much as possible to not make the same mistakes that I have made. I want people to see me and hear my story, and hopefully inspire them to change for the better, but to also understand the hard work that needs to be done internally.
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I remember when you thought PCC was problematic 
But…
The difference that I see between what I’ve witnessed of you and what you’re saying about Sadhguru is that, he owns his nature.
I resonate more with your example of the guru than say a Dali Lama. I’m at peace with myself and others until Other tests my boundaries. There is no hesitation in my checking another person. As soon as that is complete, I return right back into the peace.
My good sir. Ascension is a single title. If you follow recommendations, you have two other slots open.
Have you considered an Ascension/LBfH custom? Roots Before Branches almost ended up with these two as cores but I was dead set on a single core custom.
Ascension x Chosen
Ascension x LBfH
Ascension x Regeneration
There’s many options. But the issue - not that there really is one - isn’t the title. You’re simply going through what a ton of Ascension users - myself included, on Qv2 - go through. It’s a part of the process. I’m sure you know this but it bears saying.
YOU make you whole and perfect. YOU are the Love you are looking for.
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Ascension and LBFH sounds fascinating
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That being said I’ll still visit Ascension later on this year to see if I can take my results to the next level
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To reach the Pinnacle, the zenith you seek, you’re going to have to take it step by step, day by day even moment by moment.
Those great ones didn’t go from where you are to where they are in an instant.
They’re strong in the face of adversity because they face adversity. It’s up to them how they weather the storm.
Far be it from me to tell you that Ascension should work for you; but you’ve got to work your process the same way your Sadhguru did and does.
Conquer your beasts, brother. They’re tamable.
Make calls to the Being you used to have as your profile picture to transmute that darkness 
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Ascension is not “broken.” It’s just not for you. You complain about Khan having the same effect, or any other alpha title. Stop running them. The issue is you, not the title. You just don’t vibe with them.
I don’t want to have to say this again.
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Wait. Hold on 
. You are Dutch too? The Hague here
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