Death of the Boy, Birth of the Man

[RVconsultant]

Wow! Lots of gains! Right on!

[Uber_Elysium]

Thank you!

[Uber_Elysium]

So this is the last day of my break until I go back to school and make the final push until graduation so this is goin to be the last major update for a few days but I do have a new stack and quite possibly an idea for a custom that will be geared towards inner world, status, healing, and taking action.

So for starters the new stack is Ascension, Rebirth and Emperor Fitness ST4. I already explained why I am using EF4 so I will explain why I have Ascension and Rebirth in my stack. With all the reflecting I have done during this break I thought long and hard and I even had an ego death to a degree for this current phase of my life. I realized it when the “Boy” has been laid to rest which I feel is just a lot of my old childish habits, now I want to become a better man by rebuilding my foundation and start from scratch. While I do love Emperor and Stark, I did have to cast my ego aside and be honest with myself on what I truly need at this point in my life and Ascension is right for the job, plus I truly want to change for the better. Rebirth is in there for now to help speed things along, in this regard and ngl its already causing some healing haha but this is only goin to in for a cycle for some good integration with both Ascension and EF4. However this stack is only here for a cycle or two for the real sub.

The custom that I have thought about today really hit me hard and I even have a concept for it but I do want to sit on it for a cycle and possibly get more experienced users opinions before I jump the gun lol. Anyways the two major cores where an inspiration from @Davisnwc (great read btw) journal with this particular custom and it is Primal Ascension. Now in the past I did run this stack for a cycle and got great results but ego got in the way and I went back to Emperor, I have grown since then though, went through healing, ego death, getting over my ex was a huge one as well and now I know I should have stayed with that stack but now I am deciding to make it a custom.

Why This Custom?

Ascension

I have already explained above parts of the reason why I want to run Ascension, but the biggest reason is that I want to change completely on the inside, how I handle situations, handle myself etc. I want to realize MY personal power and who I am and what I truly have to offer this world as the man that I am.

Primal

This one came out of nowhere but it does make sense for the purpose of this custom. Looking back in my life I have had so much anxiety when it comes to dating, romance, women etc to the point I have damaged my inner world revolving around all of what I stated that I am ready to heal in that regard. I want to be able to have the confidence to approach women, flirt with them, all while having that respect for myself to walk away if needed and to not be so hurt with rejection, or breakups. I want to also heal the primal side of me as well, for too long I have been suppressing it thinking I was doing good for myself and instead caused more damage. With Primal I will learn to embrace and also master my primal side.

The biggest inspiration for this custom was a thought that I had today and on how far I have come. I want people to look at me one day in the future, that anyone can change for the better, if they put in the work. I want to set that example for others that were as lost as I was and hopefully inspire change in others. I overcame my heavy drinking, lack of ambition, neediness for other peoples validation, many other vices and its time to finish the job by ripping out my old foundation and build a much stronger one, one that will last and serve me a lifetime.

[Davisnwc]

Best of luck bro, I’m sure you’ll love the combo

[Uber_Elysium]

Thank you! I think I will enjoy the combo too.

[Uber_Elysium]

So today was a great day for Ascension to shine! I didnt sleep well at all last night, wasnt caused by recon I just have some nights of very poor sleep, just figured I would put that in here. Now My manager is on vacation this week so I had to open the department which means writing the order and basically getting everything set up for the day.

• Despite it being a long time I opened which means I am in charge for the day I seriously kicked in terms of leardership.

• As I was writing the order I had a game plan ready to go, that was executed flawlessly throughout the day.

• Got everything done and was able to get the department ready to be cleaned and disinfected much sooner than usual days

• Despite myself being tired I was able to maintain focus throughout the day, and was able to power through my workout.

• Didn’t need to rely on caffeine as much as I thought I would. I just had one cup of coffee and a scoop of pre workout and I am still goin strong.

• Still plan to study for an upcoming test tonight before bed.

• So this could definitely be a bloom from Stark as I have ran it for 3 cycles, but I was very social today and people seemed to enjoy my company at work. However unlike Stark it seemed that Ascension made me into a more grounded social, and not the hyper I need to be very very social that I would get from Stark.

• Also felt very calm, collected, and calculated today but had a nice balance with fun at work.

• Unrelated but I have been seeing 555 and 5555 a lot the past couple weeks

[Uber_Elysium]

Also while I do want to run Primal along Ascension or at least make a custom I think I will wait for a bit on that.

1. I am almost finished with school and I want Ascension to kick in for that so that will be about 2 cycles

2. That said while I Want to use Primal for healing, until I am done with school or almost done, I wont really be in that many social situations to really let Primal flourish in the beginning.

3. When I graduate I will be able to work more and be able to order the custom and be able to go out more.

4. Wanna take the time to think about what places I wanna check out since I am not too big on goin out to bars as much anymore.

5. Would be able to focus more on the healing side of Primal while i am not worried about school.

6. This has been something I have been thinking about for a while now but I have been thinking about giving Minds Eye a spin especially since my manifestation abilities have been coming back at full swing.

[Plutus]

I’m doing Stark + Wanted custom with Empfit: ST3 it’s going to be an interesting ride for the both of us

[Uber_Elysium]

Oh shit dude haha yeah Stark and WANTED was very fun and I will say WANTED does help to ground Stark a bit. I probably would have had more fun if I didnt have the emotional hang ups in the love dept but that’s what Primal is for haha

I think for two cycles its goin to be Ascension, Empfit ST4, Minds Eye, and if I like Minds Eye which I think I will then it will be Primal Ascension, Empfit ST4, and Minds Eye.

[aklimatize]

Good on ya bro; I think you’ve come to some really good realizations here.

@Uber_Elysium

Romance

Literally do not desire it at this point in time, like at all haha. I have way to much to accomplish at this point in my life that I just dont want to put effort into a relationship or dating (now watch I find someone in a few weeks ). Not that I hate women or anything its just I am prioritizing my goals and moving forward and tbh by the time I look back 6 months from now I would have grown so much more I would just have access to better quality women anyways, so the wait will be worth it! This is why I went from WANTED to Emperor Fitness btw.

I think this shows a ton of growth for you; anyone who is able to put romance or casual relationships on hold for a time is showing that they don’t NEED them. Wanting a romantic partner is great - but like you’ve discovered, it has to be right place / right time. Sometimes in life it’s neither, and it’s the most mature thing to just put it on hold until it is the right place / right time. I would say that if you’re able to do this, you can be sure you’re not trying to get validation from women at all, which is a huge step, in my opinion.

@Uber_Elysium

Business

So I mentioned it a few times that I was going to be starting a business after school with a family friend and I decided to end that endeavor. The reason is that when I started to love myself more I started asking what I really wanted out of my life in the next few years and that was to move away. Not goin to renovate a building I am just renting for 3 years, nor buy a building and be stuck with a 10 year loan. No I want a fresh start in life, new friends experiences, everything. That is a goal to complete within 3 years.

I like this, too, because it shows you’re really thinking and planning your future, instead of just acting and regretting later. I do much this same thing in my life, when I’m faced with choices, and this way of facing things has rarely, if ever, steered me wrong. When I have not done this, or did not have enough info to make a good decision, that’s when I’ve done some stupid stuff and have had to pay for it.

@Uber_Elysium

Drinking

So since I had time off I decided to cut loose a little bit and ngl I am pretty much over the bar scene completely, like I am bored at bars most of the time now lol. Once in a while is fine but goin out a lot is pretty much beneath me, which showed me that I finally have control over my drinking on an internal level and that is true growth.

Totally agree with you here; it seems you are shedding your need to validate yourself with other stuff (external stuff), and are increasingly able to validate yourself by who you are becoming. By the way, I know you are not really looking for romance right now, but women dig this in a man, so you’re on the right track in that regard as well (not that that is why you’re improving yourself, but it’s icing on the cake).

@Uber_Elysium

Conclusion

I know a lot of those points are a little vague but this is pretty much what I can remember the past 7-8 weeks while summing them up. I will say that I have grown so much internally since this last update that when I was thinking about updating this I heard a voice that said. “The boy has been laid to rest, now you are a man, now build the foundation.” After hearing that voice I knew that it was right, I am thinking more like a man now and that it is time to truly start building myself up to be as successful as I can be in life.

That’s awesome man; I think you are doing great, and I say keep listening to yourself, because you’re giving yourself some great advice.

[RockyHandsome]

@Uber_Elysium i also found myself naturally drawn to Stark. I have used emperor, PS, wanted, SS but i find myself going back to stark. Or custom customizing it with wanted or PS

[Uber_Elysium]

Dude thank you so much for the love mi amigo it is greatly appreciated! Haha I was thinking the same thing about women digging that kind of behavior, hence why I jokingly said “now watch me find a girl in a few weeks ” so not only is it true but it is funny that you said that, but none the less im sticking to my internal journey for now. Unless however I were to meet an awesome chick that respects the fact that I am very inwardly focused right now. Other than that I am still very happy with life, cutting out the need for validation from women has been so liberating, now I just improve myself on my own accord.

[Uber_Elysium]

Honestly I love the hell out of Stark I definitely want to run it again after a couple of cycles with Ascension and Primal. Now I enjoyed Stark and WANTED but Stark and P.S. would be very interesting to try out one day, imma have to keep that stack in mind. I will say that I did enjoy Stark and GLM/Ascension, it seemed that Stark without those made me very playful and to the point kinda childish at times (thats on me not Stark to anyone wondering haha) but Stark with GLM/Ascension gave me a very strong gentlemanly vibe.

[Uber_Elysium]

Soooooooo I did some more internal healing and realizations yesterday

What I Realized

So this has to pertain to my weight, and my lifestyle, and I will just say it bluntly, its not that good lol. Lemme back up a bit. When my Ex broke up with me a lil over a year ago I did the thing that has plagued me my entire life and that was eating my emotions and drinking my emotions lol but yall know my old drinking habits. While I did lift a lot and honestly due to a lot of subs (Ascension, Spartan, Emperor, WANTED, and the short time with EF4) I packed on muscle like a MOFO. I am proud of that ngl haha a lot of people taller than my 5’7" stature say they wouldnt wanna fight me so your boy did something right. While I am strong and have a good amount of mass and I can move well cardio wise, Body Fat wise I am un healthy.

Its time to change that and after some thinking I decided on how I am goin to go about it.

1. Focus first on my diet, starting with cutting out a lot of sugar and finding better alternatives, portion control, and a certain time I stop eating and if im still hungry after that mark I will pound water and a banana.

2. Establish a better sleep schedule

3. For now cut out weight lifting and intense cardio. The reason for this is that for a year I have put my body under a lot of stress, being a butcher, massage therapist, weightlifting, and having an unhealthy lifestyle. Due to all the changes this past year though growth, goin to school, internal changes, etc my mind has also taken a beating.

Now I am simply replacing weightlifting and cardio with yoga for 6-8 weeks. Yoga will help me calm my mind and it helps with mindfulness which has been proven to help with over eating, self image etc. Yoga will also help develop my stabilizer muscles, as well as help with muscle imbalances, and help loosen the muscles, and myofascia which in the end will make me a more functional all around. Plus I will be doing something different for a while too, while revitalizing my body and mind.

Now this realization has also caused me to drop Emperor Fitness. Now why would I do that, especially after a realization like this?

1. Everything that I have stated above I have done before. Now due to my immaturity in the past I would quite after so long but I am different now, I am much more mature now, and I truly want to turn my life around.

2. What I stated above is also mainly just a foundation to starting a healthier lifestyle and if I have been capable of doing that in the past I shouldn’t have to rely on EmpFitness in the beginning for goals like that when realistically Ascension would be enough. After 6-8 I should be done with school, my body and mind should be revitalized and then I will bring the intensity along with EmpFitness back but with a stronger and heathier foundation.

So that means I have two slots open in this stack well go ahead and call me a liar yall cause I added Primal and a particular sub I have had my eyes on for while wink wink Minds Eye!

Primal

So its been one listen although I have had a few things happen that I know is Primal related.

• Very relaxed and confidence is rising, although despite me being relaxed I am taking a lot of action, which is probably also tied to Ascension

• Appreciate the beauty of women. I will definitely check women out more, however I am not a horndog about it lol. I will check out a women appreciate her beauty and move on with life and probably forget about her haha

• Noticed that women seem to be a lil more respectful towards me, and a little timid? Although if I speak to them they relax.

• Voice got deeper. Now I am a bass/baritone so I was shocked to hear it get deeper but I realized that it was because I was so relaxed. At least 2 people have commented already.

• Some women have been staring at me and have flirted with me by commenting on my voice, but I have sounded like this since I was 16 and im 28 so it doesnt really work on me anymore since I hear it all the time lol but it was nice to hear.

• While I haven’t needed to be dominant yet I can already feel the power building within me, I will say its very controlled.

Minds Eye

Now I have been drawn to this sub for a while and I finally decided to buy it and my oh my I should have bought it sooner haha

First here is this, I posted some results after listening to it yesterday as a reply on someone’s journal. He’s a pretty chill dude btw, check out his journal!

Back to my roots - an Invictus journal

Yo that’s pretty dope lol I went ahead and bought it last night anyways but today was my first listening day. I listened to Minds Eye first then Ascension and then Primal. What I noticed was that after minds eye reality felt different idk how to explain it lol. I will say I was a lot more present during the day and my mind is much clearer, to the point it was easier to focus on the task at hand, as someone who has ADD this is amazing. Other things I have noticed: More introspection that…

• On top of all that, that big ass realization that I got happened minutes after I listened to Minds Eye.

• Better execution of subs, especially with getting shit done in the Ascension department

• Goofy ass dream last night, I honestly cant explain it lol

• Better integration of subs as well.

• Taking action even more and I wanna accredit this to manifestation of subs goals which means taking action

• Was able to retain a lot of information and I got an A on my test despite me missing the class last week

• Thinking in a more positive manner. I had a negative inner voice for a long time and it has gotten better as time went on with my sub journey, I am more aware of it now and I am able to replace it with
  a more positive thought process

[Uber_Elysium]

Okay so yesterday was a pretty good day! I am experimenting with 3 subs on one listen day (my own choice) and it’s goin pretty well so far. It usually goes with Minds Eye, then Ascension, and then Primal.

Yesterday was a pretty good day at work and all together. We still have our manager on vacation so we have limited help at yet I am even more driven to get the job done, and I kicked ass yesterday. Now I usually am a pretty good worker but these past few days that I have worked I have noticed a huge drive to get things done, and be a better leader.

Even today which is my only day off during the week I am sitting at a coffee shop and I am studying (except for right now lol) and I am focused on my studies without my mind drifting away like always.

I will say is that this combo here is helping me find my passion and joy in everyday life but as well as tasks as well, which is making taking action much easier.

[Uber_Elysium]

Now I will say that currently Primal’s healing aspect is shinning through and while it is painful it is worth it cause of how deep the healing is.

• Had memories of my past relationship show up, but it was times that I should have been the one to walk away.

• Sexual Expression and Acceptance in a mature manner. I am realizing how much of my sexual expression I have repressed my whole life and I am starting to embrace that side of me. It is a lot cause it’s a literal 180 degree turn, but it will get easier. Still have it under more control than ever, cause now I am just appreciating womens beauty, but not getting lost in it.

• I think this is the first part of my healing. Killing the need and desire completely for womens validation and being outcome dependent. While I have been doing that for a while already, Primal is kicking it up a notch and teaching me how to express my sexual energy around others, while not needing sex or validation. This in turn will make me more comfortable, and authentic and every interaction.

• Learning to control sexual energy. In tandem with the points above, my sexual energy has increased but I feel it being integrated into myself more. This is where I believe to healing and acceptance of masculinity is coming from, as well as the joy, comfort, passion, and dominance in life.

[aklimatize]

I think you are doing great man! You are getting some really good insights about your life, and are aware that there is no easy way around them; you have to accept reality as it is, and then you can change it.

One of my favorite quotes (Igor Ledochowski is who I heard it from) is “What you resist persists; what you accept, you gain the power to transform.” I’m always reminding myself of that, as I’m on my own journey as well.

Keep going brother, you will come out the other side much more mature and stronger as a result.

[Uber_Elysium]

Thanks man, I can honestly say that I have been blessed with a gift of introspection and the subs have given me wonderful guidance on how to execute all of them. I am very thankful for the healing as well, and the fact that I am accepting of the healing at least more so than the results, I feel has made my journey much easier.

[Uber_Elysium]

I am honestly really loving this combo! The dominance, status, productivity is amazing, and I have been taking my studies even more seriously, more so than I was on Stark!

However I do have a question and would definitely like some insight and advice. So if some of my issues also pertain to sex/romance and lack of seduction game should I move on to Primal Seduction (I do already have it btw) since I would get the benefits of Primal as well, or stick with Primal? I would still keep Ascension and Minds Eye btw and also I would finish up this cycle with Primal before moving onto Primal Seduction again.

[Uber_Elysium]

The Power of Ascension

So yesterday I kept having the urge to cut loose and by that, basically that means goin out to a bar and drinking heavy. I have done this in the past and now I can go hard once in a while and be fine, without worry of loosing control and being a heavy drinker again.

Now the bar was pretty fun, I bullshitted with some people, tried flirting with a girl but she was just looking for attention from everyone and anyone so I just kept it platonic, and plus she was pretty far gone. Ended closing out the bar and went home for the night. So nothing crazy sub wise happened last night until this morning.

Last night was a full on representation of my old ways through and through and while I have no fear of going back to my old ways, I had some very deep realizations on how last night correlates with who I am now.

1. I understand how far I have come and changed. I no now that all of those actions are in the past.

2. I can understand one of the big reasons why I had so many issues with women for years is that I was looking for women at a bar cause I was always at one. While I was desperate, deep down I always knew those types of girls generally aren’t worth it to begin with, and if they were they 9/10 times had boyfriends.

3. Goin with point 2 I have decided to put romance/sex off, possibly until next year. I want to focus fully on my schooling, building my future, and fitness.

4. While I have mentioned some of these before, last night changed everything. Walking my dark path for a bit I know now that my old negative foundation is gone. It’s time for a new one, and Ascension is making me realize that on a very deep level.

5. Motivation came back stronger than ever. Seeing the path ahead of me will be challenging however I am fully embracing this path.

6. One source of motivation is that I want to inspire change in others. If I can go from a heavy drinker to someone who controls himself, someone who lacked a plan to someone about to graduate school, someone who put women on a pedestal to someone who respects himself, a person who hated himself to someone who loves himself, riddled with anxiety and negative outlook to an optimistic man with emotional control.

If I can turn my life around this much a lot of people can do the same. I am 28 now and lately I have been getting thoughts of helping the next generation as much as possible to not make the same mistakes that I have made. I want people to see me and hear my story, and hopefully inspire them to change for the better, but to also understand the hard work that needs to be done internally.