Mac's StarkQ Journal [Stacked]


#1

Alright guys, fresh subliminal = fresh journal: StarkQ edition. As a recap for new readers, I’ve been running subliminal audios for a few years, and began my SubliminalClub journey last February, so I’ve got a bit over a year under my belt. I have listened to: Sex and Seduction, Primal, Emperor (ooF!) Khan, Emperor V4, and the Commander.

Reasons why I’m running StarkQ: In general, becoming more social. The past year running Emperor, while given me great drive, also contributed to me being a recluse. I’m already a super introvert (and depended on alcohol to extrovert and lessen my social anxieties, a habit I quit last year). I’ve also realized that in order to reach my wealth and lifestyle goals, i must network. I originally switched from Emperor to Khan in hopes it would give me a social edge, but while Stage 2 and Stage 3 gave me the most profound tangible effects, Khan Complete didn’t quite hit the mark for me. To be fair, I should have been taking more action, and would probably benefit from running the whole program again. But at the end of the day, I just wanted to run something new. The emphasis on learning and fame generation are really exciting to me and I look forward to those manifestations.

So what have I noticed so far? Well I began running StarkQ on April 16th for 3-5 hours masked daily during daytime, and some ultrasonic at night (though I usually only ran 1 or 2 loops at night before waking up and turning it off). I haven’t really stacked it yet, but I have played a few loops of KhanQ with it, hence the [stacked] tag in the title. I’ve also been consiering purchasing Iron Throne Q.

The 2nd day running StarkQ, I got an email for a job I applied to, that I’d been hoping I would be able to get for months, .The email said that I had been accepted! It’s a temporary position, but I will be moving up North again but this time actually getting an apartment, and the salary is very dope.

In general with the money situation with my current job, the pandemic has forced me to cut back hours, but over the past 2 weeks running StarkQ, I’ve gotten random influxes of money. 2 friends I hadn’t seen in a while hit me up for doing them favors in exchange for some cash. The first friend dipped out on me for now, but I’ve been making money help my other friend remodel a house. When this is all done and over, I have a suspicion I’ll be making more money than if hours at my regular job were the same.

Been doing a lot more of penny manifestation as well, it’s a game that I’ve played since I watched Greg Kuhn’s video on wealth manifestations using pennies 2 years ago.

Productivity/Procrastination:

Around the 7th or 8th day, I decided to get back on the ball and quit smoking weed again. Actually, it was because the job I had just been offered said I would be drug tested in a few months.

The 10th day it hit me like a brick, I woke up early, cleaned the fuck out of my room, did all my dishes and pulled out sleeping bags and blankets out of my cars that I’d been procrastinating cleaning for months. I went back and finished writing up my Khan journal as well. I felt I HAD to be productive. I set a game plan to tackle my web development course I had started back in October, but stopped due to work conflict.

Oh I also kick-started my fitness routine. Ideally I do an hour or several of cardio a couple times a week in addition to calisthenics or weights every other day, but I hadn’t been as active the past 2 months. So I kick-started my fitness with a 2 hour run, and I haven’t run past 30-40 mins the last few months.

I haven’t felt this level of motivation and need to be productive since running Emperor V2/V3 a year ago . Khan Stage 3 doesn’t touch it either.

Dreams: A combination of quitting weed and occasionally taking melatonin to regulate my sleep schedule have led to quite some vivid dreaming. Here’s a few notable ones that I wrote down:

  • Avengers theme on April 27: I think this one is actually coincidental because I saw an Ironman meme the previous day, but in the dream it felt like I was the actor playing Spiderman, but as preparation for the movie, I had to do a whole lot of fighting on increasingly more difficult levels. In one of the levels I was fighting a robot-animatronic bear.

On the same night, I dreamed about frantically trying to pack my red Lamborghini, getting all the possessions from my sister’s house. It felt like I was escaping being accused falsely of a crime I didn’t commit, but my sister wouldn’t believe me so I had to pack up and go.

  • 04/30: I had another fear-based dream/nightmare. I was driving a car with my roommate in the backseat, and we pulled into a gas station. He went into the gas-station while I waited, and a huge buff 250 lbs guy wearing a wife-beater approached my car and started whining about needing a ride. I didn’t want to, but he pleaded so much with me that I allowed him into the back seat of my car. My roommate comes back and I have to let him know super quick that I’m giving this guy a ride. He give me a WTF look that said “bro this is a complete fucking stranger what are u doing”. Then we drive up to a vacation home/mansion that we’re staying at. I remember my other roommate taking a shower. Eventually turns out this guy I picked up is a murderer and starts going on a rampage. I try to call 911 several times, but my phone keeps going to a random webpage instead. I try to run away but the dude closes in on me about to kill me; I wake up .

Anger/Reconciliation (Power Can Corrupt at play?) :

-After my 2 hours of running when I kick-started my fitness plan, I was dead-tired and went to the grocery store. Upon leaving, I drove past a guy with a sign, and the feeling of tiredness being fresh in my mind, I have sympathy, turn around and drive up to hand the guy a bag of chips and juice. Instead of just taking it and saying thanks, dude leans into my car from the passenger window and starts having a full-on conversation with me, talking about an asteroid about to hit earth and conspiracy theories. At the end he didn’t even thank me.

I play it cool and indulge him, but later that night I couldn’t sleep and was INFURIATED that I let that dude do that to me, breathing into my car when I’ve been so careful going out, and not even thanking me.

  • I got into an argument with my Mom; gonna spare the details, but I felt she disrespected me and was throwing negative energy at me.

#2

Above post has been in edit a couple of days. Sorry, I’ve just been super fucking busy/productive in a good way. I won’t say I’m 100% on top of things, but I just feels things are going really good; I’m on a roll and stacking as many back-to-back wins as I can to gain momentum.

Well, since above post, the only notable thing for StarkQ I put in my notes was that on May 1st, I had a couple spells of depression. I don’t remember the last time I felt depressed since my alcoholic days years ago. I don’t recall experiencing acute depression as reconciliation symptom running any subliminal. Anyways, there were a few spells lasting maybe 10-15 mins. No more than an hour total waking time. Q must be very powerful. For the first time, I feel like truly heeding the “take a break” advice.


Yesterday I began running StarkQ Terminus masked for a few hours during daytime.

And then I had another dream/nightmare last night, which felt Resident Evil -esque. I don’t recall it too well, but it was another dream where I was fighting a creature ( a guy with black clothes and a white painted mask if I recall correctly). This will be at least my 2nd dream where I’m fighting creatures/monsters.

*P.S. On the same night I dreamedof the big guy in the wife-beater going on a killing spree, I had an adjacent dream where I saw a computer system (old school 60s/70s), but later in the dream it had upgraded to a Windows 90s style machine. It looked like a desktop symbol/logo.


#3

I’ve been slowly inching towards a 4:30am wake-up time, as my productivity typically goes up when I wake up earlier. I did it for a couple days on StarQ, but working late doing construction for my friend has me sleeping through alarms. Today though, after 2 days of running StarkQ-T[erminus] I woke up at 4 and got to work.

Last night, I had another dream/nightmare. I don’t remember the beginning, but it ended with me and Joe Rogan in a wooden-floored attic, surrounded by a cavalcade of 3-D cartoon/horror movie characters closing in on me/Joe. Then I woke up.

  • A theme I’ve been noticing on StarkQ and now StarkQ-T, is that somehow I’m missing from the dream, as in it’s barely first person. This happened with my previous Spiderman dream, and now this Joe Rogan dream. It’s like I was Spiderman/Joe, yet I wasn’t, if that makes sense.

Anyways, this morning, I kept my promise to do my Wim Hof breathing exercises, and I went and worked out. During working out, my thoughts went to the payment I’ve been receiving to do construction work friend. Each day gets progressively more challenging as the project moves on; I weighed the options of demanding more money for my labor with the relationship I have with my friend. While the work is difficult, doing it without complaining increases my confidence. In the end, I think strategically I’m going to tough it out, as I believe long-term relationship will benefit me more than getting a little extra cash now. I’ll keep assessing the situation for now.


#4

Sounds like you are making great progress Tarmac, keep up the disciplined work ethic, as this always pays off, in a positive way in life. I am a big WimHof fan also and perform the breathing exercises daily, really helps me feel strong and healthy. All the best to you on your journey.


#5

Thank you Morpheus, likewise. I hope to keep this momentum with breathing exercises going.

Note: Ran 2 loops StarkQ-T this morning while working out. I’m going to take a break from subs today and perhaps listen to an audiobook or podcast while at work.


#6

Backlog from couple days ago (Meant to add more to this, but putting this out bc it’s finished enough):


Today I woke up at 7am or so due to my long day yesterday beginning at 4am. I’m going to be patient with readjusting my seep schedule, and today I feel content with taking a rest day given all the nonstop output I’ve been putting out the last week.

No loops for me today. Instead I’m going over to my FWB’s house and doing some coursework for my webdev class.

Yesterday, I was listening to a podcast while working and was inspired to purchase a book on discipline related to arts. Will see if I follow through. For years, I struggled with making meaningful conversation, and I’d thought to myself “If only I read more books, this could translate to being able to communicate better”. Back then it was related to a struggle getting women interested in me and tyring to punch that Vcard. I could get initial attraction, but struggled to put together the pieces from meeting to lay.

Last night’s dream: Was somehow involved in hlping some people move out of their home. Cardboard boxes piled up (*I also now remember a detail of the computer logo from one of my previous dreams was stamped onto a cardboad square background. Not sure if a similar theme). After we moved the boxes we were hanging out in the room, when a hole opened up in a corner and swallowed one of the people. We started panicking, looking for a solution. Another guy wanted to jump after him, but I franticaly got a rope and tried to convince him to tie it to him before he jumped in. He got the rope tied around him, jumped in, but it all happened so quick I think I might have forgot to tie the end of the rope to something so I ended up holding on to it, hoping to support the weight. I forget what happened after, and the dream switched to me riding a bike around a local school, which was completely empty. I saw one of my best friends I hadn’t seen for a while riding by and I wave high. Then I go into the school, and find several people sitting at an ampitheater, waiting for a hot spring to erupt out of the center. Perhaps this is related to the previous dream right before where a person fell into a hole, and this dream where people were waiting for something to erupt out of one.

So another dream where there’s an element of panic and fear, but no fighting in this one, no one trying to kill me, and not waking up out of the nightmare.


#7

Current breakdown of hours based on Musicolet:

  • StarkQ Masked: 87

  • StarkQ Ultrasonic: 17

  • StarkQ-Terminus Masked: 27

  • StarkQ-Terminus Ultrasonic: 4

I listen to StarkQ-T masked 2 loops in the mornings typically. While I’ve only listened to 27 hours of StarkQ-T masked it feels like a loooot more (was surprised to look at the above numbers).

I think I’ve only given myself one full rest day since starting StarkQ(/T). That OCD side of me is still there when it comes to subs haha, but it’s nothing compared to the 5-8 hours daily I was listening last year.

Dreams still vivid every night, but I haven’t been writing them down. I’ve been keeping mental track though.

Been consistent with doing WimHof breathing exercises every morning (or when I don’t have time in the morning, I do them at night).

Exercise regimen baseline risen and has been consistent since running StarkQ and now StarkQ-T.

I recently made an activity-tracker watch purchase. I haven’t trained with a heart-rate monitor since I did endurance sports in college.

I’ve actually been itching to buy one for months/years now but had trouble justifying it (Internal dialogue: “Just workout/run/bike dude. You don’t need extra tech”.) But there’s that nerd-side of me that just likes to look at data, and I feel it would be beneficial and add more motivation for keeping consistent with my exercise goals. I got a quality one too. It will arrive in a few days, I’m excited.

Productivity baseline has risen and stayed constant as well, whether it be chores, work, or any odd jobs I’m doing. I’ve been catching up with my webdev course, but still haven’t gotten past the first project in the class. When I get past that “hurdle”, it will be full steam ahead. I’ve been trying to get past this since last November. I think today might be the day as I have the day off.


#8
  • Change title to StarkQ/T Solo, as I haven’t really stacked it since I started, give a take a loop here or there of Khan. I wanted to add Iron Throne, but I want to get a really good feel for StarkQ-Terminus before I add anything.

  • I have also been tempted to switch back to StarkQ, but I’m going to ride out Terminus at least 1 more week before I decide.

  • I had an episode (about 20 mins or so) of intense anger/reconciliation as I ran 1 loop of StarkQ-T this morning. I’ve been having these occasionally past few days.

It’s related to something my sister told me while I visited home this weekend triggered me. She didn’t mean it like that, but she implied that I don’t make enough money. She said it nonchalantly, but it’s lit an almost uncontrollable fire under my ass, not even in a good way.

There’s anger that motivates you, and then there’s anger that consumes you. I’m trying to channel it, but it’s VERY difficult. Like, life-interfering difficult lol. I’m having a hard time concentrating on my course.

These are signs of reconciliation for sure, and I think a break from StarkQ-T is in order. I just have to force myself to take off at least one or two days and let the effects/manifestations come.


#9

More anger today, still only that one loop of StarkQ-T in the morning. I got done doing some remodeling work on my friend’s today, and my friend proceeded to load up stuff into my car that was covered in dirt. Gross shit. I had told him I could dispose of some of this stuff, but I hadn’t fully laid down protection iny trunk.

I could have said something to him, but didn’t. I hate this part of myself where I can’t say no to people, and let them walk on me. And the thing is it’s not even their fault because I fail to assert myself.

As a personality traiy, I often hold in a lot of shit, grudges which transform into seething anger, a pressure cooker of rage. Often times I can use it to fuel myself and output physical energy beneath the surface (I wish I could transmute anger into studying or learning though. But getting it out of me doing physical tasks until I’ve burnt up all the rage has been the best way to calm myself down).

Very rarely do I actually blow up on someone, though I’ve been tested. I can only think of once or twice in the past few years I’ve blown up on an acquaintance. I know when I have, I’ve regretted it after the fact. It’s this knowledge that helps to keep me in check.

Gonna go to sleep now, and wake up early again. I’m on a 3-day streak of 5am wake-up times, so I’m making decent progress shifting my sleep schedule.


#10

Where did you find the numbers in Musicolet? any specific setting that were able to see the accurate number of loops done?


#11

Music icon > Most played.

I think it counts an audio file if you go halfway through the audio, but not before (haven’t tested fully though, take with a grain of salt)…


#12

Update, with a curious finding.

As you know, I had reduced my StarkQ-Terminus loops to two loops in the morning, and then down all the way to one loop in the morning.

Then 2 days ago, I finally took a full rest day after weeks of Stark Q and StarkQ-Terminus.

  • My first full day off 2 days ago, I experienced massive lethargy and multiple acute headaches. If this is reconciliation by itself, this is the first time I’ve experienced it on an off day. (Reason I say “by itself” is because I’ve been pushing my wake-time earlier 4:30/5:00am in the morning from my usual wake time of 7/8, so this lethargy might have just been a result of this sleep schedule shift).

  • Then, on my 2nd full (consecutive) day off, I felt pretty normal. Still got in my workouts and breathing exercises, granted I did them later in the day after work because I woke up “late” (aka 8am).

Today, the third day, I pondered taking a rest day but given a normal day yesterday, I played 5 loops of StarkQ-Terminus (masked) today during work. I now sit at 35 loops StarkQ-Terminus masked, per Musicolet.

In this moment I’m feeling quite neutral (I actually had a HUGE wave of relief wash over me a few hours ago, some great news pertaining to my finances. Things are looking kinda okay for me – I’m trying not to jinx it lol). Will push myself to wake up early tomorrow and will see if I experience the level of lethargy I felt 2 days ago on my first off-day. It will be an off-day.

Side-note: I read Saint’s new recommendations on using StarkQ for a bit before jumping into Terminus.

Since I ran 87 loops of regular StarkQ masked before jumping into Terminus, perhaps this is why I haven’t experienced reconciliation too hard apart for that one day. Either that or Terminus is having no effect on me whatsoever. Productivity stll good though. IDK…either way, I promised myself one more week of Terminus, which I shall do, albeit with more rest days.

Peace.


#13

Here’s the video on penny manifestation I found years ago that I referenced in an earlier post. I always take the time to pick up pennies and other loose change everywhere, no matter where I find them.


#14

Here’s a backlog dream I had a couple days after starting Terminus.

  • Dreamed of driving around trying to find weed. Ended up parking against traffic at a traffic light. I end up going inside a Wally World which for some reason has a bank inside. I walk up to do a transaction and leave. Then when I come back, the Wallyworld was demolished. I seek help from someone on the SubClub message board relating to the demolition, but also asking for help deciphering a body of text which is mostly English but has an Arabic word. This person helps me decipher it. .A couple days later I have a conversation with this person on the message board.

#15

Yesterday’s dream was fucking nuts, I wish I’d recorded what happened immediately after waking.

High adrenaline feeling.

Gist of it was I was driving on a highway at night in a foreign country with my friend. There was a party atmosphere about. Fast forward in the dream, to what feels like only an hour later, but then my friend reminds me: “you don’t remember what happened last night?” Turns out I had gotten super drunk and we’d gotten pulled over by cops. I had to go-to court and the judge said that the punishment for drunk driving was that he would use a gun to shoot at my knees, but if he missed, there would be no consequences and I would be set free and I get to keep my legs. Turns out I got off scott-freee and I didn’t even remember it.

A memory within a dream


#16

Took 2 days off again and I’ve just finished up my morning loop or StarkQ-Terminus. I will run 1 or 2 more loops sometime later today.

Productivity last 2 days pretty good as well, though I woke up late again, closer to 8am.

Last night’s dreams involved making a motorcycle purchase and/or deciding which one to get. Then later my dream turned intense as I heard commentary of an ultraviolent wrestling match, and then I rewind to the event and I’m physically there. It involves one of the fighters getting murdered but I’m not sure exactly how yet. I feel nervous anticipation as I await the gore that’s to follow, but it ends up not being too bad. Dude still gets killed (by a spoon to the eye) but it’s not the wrestler that I thought who was gonna win that wins. I look at the crowd behind, one girl specifically, and notice that the crowd are non-reactive to this, cheering on joyfully. I felt a weird dichotomy of emotions: shock at the violence I witnessed, yet feeling okay because the crowd wasn’t phased (“maybe its all just an act”). Another dream where I rewind

Also another dream involving driving motorized vehicles or travelling. Seems to be a theme these past few weeks, and maybe in general.


#17

Ended up running 3 loops of StarkQ-Terminus Masked yesterday.

Felt fatigued throughout the day but likely sleep-related because I woke up at 5 . Performing well on lack of sleep is very difficult. Everything is twice or 3 times as hard. Fucked around a bunch all day but finally got up and went out for my run in the late afternoon.

Today I woke up at 8 again, unideal sleep quality based on my own feelings and backed up by my sleep tracker.

Last night’s dream was difficult to remember as well, even directly after waking up this morning. What I remember is it was nighttime and I was part of a team, maybe in competition with another team and we were using machines to paint yellow lines on roadways. A little bit of urgency or fight-or-flight feeling in the dream as well, but no violence or murder this time, thank goodness lol.

Some good news: this morning I had a random surprise influx of money that I was not expecting.

I feel a little scatterbrained/fatigued. Not sure if to attribute to just sleep or if it’s food, caffeine, or reconciliation. Just before writing this I had the urge to switch back to regular StarkQ already. Also had the urge to buy Iron Throne upon reading BlackAdder’s journal. Anyways I’m going to stick it out with StarkQ-Terminus for 3 more days to keep my promise to myy. While today and tomorrow should technically be rest days, I’m very tempted to just run a bunch more loops and see what happens.


#19

Played 2 loops Terminus masked last night. Ended up being woken up twice on my sleep by my friend who had a loss in her family, and needed someone to talk to.

Ended up going over to her place. Had to say fuck it to sleep, because being there for her is more important, despite me initially feeling annoyed and resentful for the interruption.

I realized it was fucked up that I was even complaining. I had to consciously remind myself to be grateful for all that I have.

Last night, after meeting with my friend I took her to make a purchase at the gas station. It was kiosk-style and people weren’t allowed in the actual store, so I had to use a security transaction drawer. I saw 3 pennies and acknowledged their presence as a reminder to be grateful. (It didn’t feel right to take them, but I went through the motions of being thankful. As I pushed the drawer in to give the attendant card, I noticed a 4th penny. Another reminder.

And then, this morning, I found someones debit card outside the grocery store. Gonna go to the bank later and give it to them as a lost/found.


#20

Wealth is coming to you.

Nice.


#21

Ok this is getting a little nutty.

I went to the bank but the lobby was closed. Sat in the drive-thru for a bit and thought…fuck it, it’s too much of a hassle. I’m just gonna destroy the card. But before I do, I decide to look the person up on social media…

…Aaaaaand I think it’s my roommates old fuck-buddy lol.

I don’t know what to do with this information. Part of me wants to tell my roommate so he can give it back to her, but the other part wants to just destroy the card and not open this Pandoras box.