Luther's WANTED ZP journal (ChosenZP then PSZP added later)

Journals - Major Programs
#158

I’m really making changes and progress with Khan but it’s difficult.

I started working out again, seeing less women and transmuting my energy towards my financial goals. I’m realizing the importance of having a balanced life.

Women have been texting me to go out and go to their places but my self-control is stronger than it’s ever been and continuing to develop. Some of these relationships I have with them are deep, like it’s not just FWB type of stuff, so they are starting to demand explanations as I’m being reclusive. I’m not even being “reclusive”, I’m just focusing on my other goals lol. I shouldn’t even frame it as being “reclusive”. But yeah, part of me doesn’t even want to respond but at the same time, they all know where I live… and horny, confused and unsatisfied women can sometimes be vicious. If I play that game, then it’s probably going to just make more mess/distraction. I’m going to have to remold/reconfigure some of these relationships and it’s a fucking drag, lol but whatever - it is what it is.

Also, something really creepy happened lol. I don’t know if it’s a manifestation of Khan but just weird.
Yesterday one of my “friends” was texting me at 11 pm, sending me nudes, telling me what she wants me to do to her and what not etc, just the typical shit. She’s manipulative like that… her plan is to have me thinking about her all night and as I’m falling asleep, then meet with her the next day. I ignored her texts, woke up in the morning and replied “sorry love, can’t today… I’m busy”. She sends me “kk” with a heart.

Yeah so, I just came back from the gym… and she was there. Really awkward encounter to say the least, lol. I’m attributing all strange/uncanny encounters as manifestations of Khan, even if they don’t make sense. She’s all excited by the coincidence and I’m like “yeah, yeah, I know right” lol. Basically we get to talking and I somehow talked myself into having to take her out to dinner tonight because I’m a dumbass. I’ve come to realize… that in person, I have some type of soft spot. I don’t know how to assert a boundary when she’s smiling into my soul like that and wearing tight ass gym pants. I haven’t thought any of this shit through, I’m all talk. I feel like there’s a storm coming and Khan is about to annihilate me.

I’m going to have to really set some new rules tonight. What a mess and now I’m distracted from what I was working on.

On the plus side, I’m turning 28 soon and a friend wants to throw me a party… so I have that to look forward to lol

17 Likes
#159
#160

Dinner is moved to tonight and is now a double-date.

Also, I’m noticing that my development with Khan is starting to make me not care about anything, lol.
I just did a quick at home workout and was amazed when I looked in the mirror. My body has really turned into something else over the past year. It came to my attention that I should have at least 1 photo of me on here, it’s just unfair to keep all the physical shifting results to myself.

Maybe not my face… I have too much dark/personal shit in my journals and if someone in real life saw all of this, it’s not that I would give a f*** but it just makes things unnecessarily messy/annoying.

That’s another thing I noticed with Khan, there’s an inner voice that just brutally slices through all weakness/fear, it’s like "Who gives a fuck, mate." LOL, it’s awesome.

I have a unique mark on my torso so there’s that too. I can’t be easily giving away my personal identity and shit… there are a lot of people lurking here and reading all this stuff - it’s kind of creepy when you think about it… like yeah just random strangers looking into my life, reading all these dark introspections and personal shit. It’s kind of weird but whatever. I feel like it’s criminal for me to not share these physical changes so either way I’m going to post, I’ll figure out how later.

8 Likes
#161

that Koala is life lol

1 Like
#162

Gotta say me like the new profile pic :eyes::heart_eyes:now I find you’re very approachable lol

1 Like
#163

You like Koalas? Lol

Koala
Koala1279×1600 228 KB

Look at him peering over his empire with that determined look… Very Khan-like if you ask me

6 Likes
Million Dollar Luther 🤑
#164

I’m working on a business project right now that is pretty crazy, lol. It’s very ambitious but I don’t give a shit because I have the power of ZP on my side and I’m in the flow state.

Sexual transmutation is working. Dinner last night was interesting because my buddy and his girl haven’t seen me in a long time. They’re almost like the quintessence of a couple, it’s pretty inspiring. Anyways, we all caught up, ate great food and had dessert. My “friend” was just chilling there as usual lol doing her thing, flirting with me, rubbing my leg under the table. Just the typical subtle foreplay. It’s like a repetitive reminder to me of “you know what happens after we leave this place”. The whole time I was debating whether I should just skip out on sleeping with her, assert a boundary and go home. After a while of toying with it in my mind, I came to the decision to sleep with her, with the plan of setting the new rules after (this turned out to be a really dumb idea).

Fast-forward… I’m at her place and adult things happen. I’m not going to get into details because this is a journal, not erotic literature lol but the sex was next level. Anyways, I’m laying in her bed and we’re cuddling, so I tell her that I might be seeing her less frequently because of very important business projects that I have going on, etc. I basically told her that I have less time in the day to do stuff, like meeting up and “hanging around” and that the whole texting me late at night has to stop.

This is where things get weird, lol. After I said that, there was a silence for like 5 seconds as if she was processing what I just said. Next thing you know she aggressively grabs my body very tightly, I was like “what the fuck, relax”. This was some next level type of clingy shit lol. Women are very emotional and the whole thing was just incredibly stupid and irresponsible of me… attempting to have serious conversations while chemicals in the brain like oxytocin are flowing. Imagine trying to set a boundary when chemicals of bonding are at their highest - yup that’s me… a complete dumbass.

I have to do this with close to a dozen more women too. I have pidgeon-holed myself into this bullshit… The Khan in me doesn’t have time for this shit but at the same time I don’t really have a choice. I’m gonna have to get more ballsy with my boundary setting or take a more clever approach, the question is how. It sucks that I can’t just google this stuff and figure it out, I don’t have friends who understand my situation. I sometimes really feel like an alien.

Re-balancing my life means big changes and that means a lot of people are involved which makes it difficult. I’ve been complacent for so long and stuck in the same rhythm so it’s all on me… I have no one to blame.

I will be honest… lately it feels like I’m being pulled apart. I might take a break from the forum, handle all this crap and come back rejuvenated.

16 Likes
Main Disc. Thread - Primal Seduction ZP
#165
#166

Wow, I’m almost at 5 months of Khan ST4. Let’s go!!

4 Likes
#167
#168

That track gives me sexy, dark vampire vibes lol like Dracula or something. Halloween is in 1 month and not only do I plan to be Dracula but I’m putting something together that’s very erotic to say the least lol… Can’t get into too many details because it might scare people, but lets just say I’m manifesting the best Halloween ever.

lol

Also, lol I haven’t forgotten about those physical shifting results. I’m not going to wimp out, they’ll be up later. I’m also running Spartan with Khan now. Stack is Khan + Spartan + RICH. I forgot how good it feels to workout and I’m already rapidly getting stronger.

Spartan

3 Likes
#169

I’ll be frankenstein if you are dracula 🧛‍♂️

1 Like
#170

This is quite strange to add koala either to Khan or Spartan because koalas are considered to be peaceful and lazy animals, not a conqueror or spartan type.
But it is your symbol, I am just saying.

3 Likes
#171

Mate, it’s a joke…

I can’t believe you actually thought about it that hard LOL :laughing:.

Some of you guys take things way too seriously here.
I was joking with Amor about coming to the dark side earlier and someone actually PMed me going “what is the dark side? like manipulation?”

Like jesus christ, y’all need to get out more.

No offense lol

6 Likes
#172

You do not have an idea, my brain was working 110%, many coffees spent and I was going into a thinking spiral.
But now everything is clear :slight_smile:

1 Like
#173

image

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#174

It can happen lol, by the way since you mentioned coffee, check out the book Caffeine Blues by Stephen Cherniske.

I personally stay far away from coffee/caffeine

#175

Frankly, my coffee consumption was only figurative.
I do not do coffee at least with caffeine.
I do green, white tea, and decaf coffee.

1 Like
#176

Lol awesome. You just gave me an idea for an X rated tea party

1 Like
#177

Sex and tea, what is better than that :slight_smile:

2 Likes