Hey bro, awesome journal… I love how much of a critical thinker you are, and I feel you add a whole lot of value to the fourm… when I see your posts, you make me think a lot lol.
On another topic, what’s your dream car? Mines is a Corvette C8… that thing is a spaceship 
I have no clue lol but I have to agree with you on the C8… that thing is a stunner
I really like Volvo
Khan is so brutal lol, shit
I went out for lunch with a new “friend” of mine. Absolute bombshell, she enchants the entire room and I’m the only one who is immune to her spell. Anyways, her looking like that, her body and with what she was wearing today, was getting way too much attention from the people around… men especially. I’m not stranger to this but interestingly enough it was way off the top today in an uncanny way. Weird and creepy men looking her up and down, then looking at me… like alright, I get it. It’s not even a shit test or a test by anything external, it’s like a test within yourself of “are you really who you think you are”. I don’t think that the average guy can handle stuff like this, it would probably get to their head and slowly eat away at their psyche. Speaking of which, I’m also realizing now that part of the rationale in forgiving myself with the past sexual issue involves comparing myself to other men in a “well I didn’t know any better, most guys in my position would likely make the same mistake” type of way… Khan is forcing me to let go of that lame ass excuse ASAP and take full accountability. Anyways, during lunch today I was a bit in my head and I realized that Khan is some serious shit. If you have even the slightest bit of weakness/insecurity in your heart or frame, then Khan will just crack down on you - brutally. There is nowhere to run and you’re going to have to become molded into steel, supernaturally composed and grounded in imperturbability. This subliminal program is a different level… the road to congruence is not easy but the type of growth that occurs is unparalleled lol. For that I am grateful
You really give me hope with these posts in THESE times, real hope.
I just wanna know if you are running WANTED.
Hi, lol
I’m not running Wanted. I used it for a long ass time though…
What do you mean by “these times”? Are you going through something?
You can talk about it here if you want… I don’t really give a shit about this journal lol
All is good lol
Thank you lol
You sometimes act like WANTED lol, but now I realize that is Khan :))
I am going to miss you
Sorry mate, lol.
A moderator here has been editing my posts like crazy for no reason.
Nitpicking little parts in my posts, even when they have a bunch of likes by the community here, have zero flags, haven’t created any drama and aren’t conflicting with the campfire policy. It’s just really stupid and over the top.
Also, taking me out of context, lol. It’s a little too much for me now.
This was never an issue in the past. Maybe it’s the subs and people are progressing in a different way than me. It’s cool, but this is not the environment for me.
I won’t be posting in this forum again - this is my last one.
There’s a bunch of other reasons too, but this one just irks me 
If this post gets edited, it wasn’t me lol
No man, please go on, your journal is addicting!
Imagine ppl stopped trying to change the world because their message was slightly altered.
Come on, friend, you’re above this 
I’ve switched to DR ST4. The moderator created a trauma inside me and now I’m afraid to post out of fear that something will get edited.
Lol, jokes aside I looked back at what he’s edited and I think I see what my “problem” is. I don’t knock him in any way, shape or form, I completely understand. I take full accountability for everything in my life, no matter what it is… I never point fingers at anyone. I know that I’m the one who is creating my reality and I’m congruent with that.
So this is what I’ve figured out lol.
I can keep posting but I probably have to make some adjustments:
-no swearing
-can’t have strong opinions that can potentially get triggered by reading it or find it offensive
-can’t write things with confidence because it looks like I’m being authoritative
-have to write things with extreme thought on how triggering it can be (basically like leftist type of bullshit)
-extreme political correctness
I don’t know if I wanna do all that. I don’t go after anybody, I don’t cause drama lol. I’ve been banned only once but that’s because a guy here was wasting time on the forum, acting absurdly strange and I felt sad for him, lol. I was the only one to call him out and give the poor guy a reality check because no one else was stating the blatant obvious. He stopped what he was doing and hasn’t posted on the forum in months. He must’ve finally woke up with ZP and realized that everything I said was true. I only help people but doing so sometimes means giving reality checks and telling the harsh reality which traumatized people get triggered when they read. Some say “that’s not your responsibility”, I say that it depends on the environment. Imagine not giving people the harsh reality or giving them reality checks in a place of utmost growth. What is the point of the place then?
Also…
What is wrong with using swear words? This isn’t an office environment, this is a fucking battlefield of growth. Savages and badasses are being born here. Boys are transitioning into men. Blood, sweat and tears are being spilled through internal challenge, empires are being built. Asses are being brutally kicked by recon as we are forced to face the dark parts within ourselves, heal and unlock complete freedom. Swearing is not anger to offend fragile little egos, it’s passionate energy laced into the message to have a fucking impact. People want to read powerful expression because that’s what moves them into action and hits deeper. It’s vital in a place of maximum growth - which this is. Listen to me very carefully, I don’t give a fuck who is reading this… A place of GROWTH is NOT pretty, it’s not a heavenly sanctuary la la land with flowers and rainbows. A place of GROWTH is light AND dark… it’s emotional, mature and brutal. Shadow selves are surfacing, inner demons are walking around and being faced. Nasty traumas are being unearthed and purged. People are pissed off, as they awaken from lies that they’ve allowed to govern majority of their lives. Is what I’m saying making sense? A place of GROWTH is a place where we have no choice but to see EVERYTHING that we are deathly afraid to look at and it will never be any other way.
I don’t know what kind of box or world people live in, but I do not live there. I don’t like reading sugar-coated robotic bullshit to where what the person wrote is indistinguishable from a fucking A.I… I like to read character, I want to feel the ENERGY of what you’re writing, I want to be fucking moved. I want a switch to flick in my brain and challenge my perception. I WANT to go into cognitive dissonance but only in a way that will GROW me because I’ve embraced the capacity to internalize what’s being said, without looking away and making bullshit wimpy excuses.
I like to be around killers and sharks but I’ll be completely honest - I don’t get enough of that energy here. In real life, my “tribe” encourages me to grow mentally, physically, financially and spiritually. That’s the type of people you want to be around, not super stagnant people that waste time and drain you.
I’ve run Emperor consistently for a long ass time - like a year… I’ve run Khan for nearly half a year, I’ve used other subs for many months all with massive growth - just boom skyrocketed. Sometimes when I come and read stuff here, I feel like a wild wolf hanging around neutered domesticated dogs. As egotistical as that sounds, it’s not. I’m not talking about accomplishments or where one is at in their development, I’m specifically talking about growth energy and forward mindset. It’s just a mindset, anyone regardless of anything can decide to start having that. I rather be around people who haven’t done anything in life who have a fiery energy, rather than someone who is high status/has everything in life but has become complacent and lazy. It’s not about where your at, where your starting, how far you come, what your beliefs/perceptions are… I’m talking about that forward growth ENERGY, which elevates everyone around you.
Because of the subs and stuff, my mindset is just different like I don’t know how to explain it, I don’t see what people see. Like guys, all the subs are here… just run them and start taking action. I don’t know what people are waiting for, lol like just start being a complete badass… NOW. There is no point in waiting for results like it’s Christmas. Santa Claus is not going to swoop down with his reindeer and save anybody’s ass. I’m not talking about everyone, there are a ton of badasses here and they know who they are.
Random Sidenote:
I saw a thread in Emperor’s Lounge recently with 500 push-up accountability for mental strength. It had 40 views and 0 likes/comments and I thought to myself “really?”.
Everyone should be commenting in there “fuck yeah, let’s go. I’m already at 100 push-ups” but instead people probably read his post, got triggered, looked the other way and scurried into their little safety bubbles. That energy needs to be contagious and fed off of. It needs to be fueled and spread like a wildfire, not ignored and kicked sand at.
You savannah beach 
.
Didn’t you tone down the “daredevil” thing based on this post here?
I get what you’re saying about energy and drive, all that. But everything you just posted here is to such an all or nothing extreme degree.
Quoting Saint here again. Everything you wrote here still has yourself still heavily tied into other people’s journey’s. I won’t deny you have wisdom to share but I’d imagine the problem is speaking as an authority on something vs a shared discourse between two individuals.
It sounds like you’re frustrated being around some individuals in this forum, but like you stated above that’s not your responsibility. You don’t have to give them reality checks, you don’t have to trigger them, that’s their journey to figure out.
The “daredevil” stuff was mainly my approach to life. Throughout my life I’ve always been one to easily get bored and needing of some wild adventure such as crazier, new experiences and what not… and sometimes it would overtake me lol. I wasn’t doing anything bad, like I don’t gamble, do drugs or anything but it’s like I’m overwhelmed sometimes by possibility and need to explore everything. It’s like an uncontrolled child-like wonder or something. I think it’s a combination of that and something internally lacking which caused me to seek more adventure/experience. So I had to tone that down. I had to do that in my sex life and with my sexuality too, none of it was negative but it’s just that I didn’t have balance in my life. You know how all the greats like Tesla or Leonardo Da Vinci were obsessed with their art/domain and blocked out other things. I was doing that with sex/women, treating it like an art that I was obsessed with. Everything within it was completely positive and elevating to me and the women for what it was, but the overall balance in my life was off. It took too much of my time and I wasn’t exploring other things because I was too consumed in the art. It’s like “alright you’ve explored this enough… what about this other stuff” and I wasn’t listening to that voice… and you know how that goes - got my ass kicked haha. I agree with you 100% on the rest of your post, thanks for bringing that stuff to my attention. You have a good point about me still following extremes even in my attitude with forum posting/content. Yeah, I have to make some adjustments lol. Thanks
Gotcha. That fills in the details a bit more.
Yeah I just saw potential parallels between those sort of “highs” someone can get when leaning towards extremes. And then sometimes when posting in your own journal it becomes this feedback loop. I’ve been there, I also used to curse like a madman in my journals lol. It can be hard to break the momentum of that speeding train or redirect it.
I’m glad to hear bringing that up helped in some way. Hopefully you stick around.
Oh also you probably know this but with internalized trauma there can be aversions to calm. There’s more peace found in conflict or chaos. Not trying to kill your energy or drive but food for thought.