I blame beauty. Fuck beauty
My new trick lately, is to go out alone in nature lol
there’s something to being alone with only your thoughts and no distractions, while processing subs
too many distractions and attention grabbers everywhere on the internet
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It’s growing, I’m just going to get it out of the way.
So I’m leveling up my romantic/sex life and going up the percentiles… I realize that this skill tree is very simple.
You just get your soulmate type of partner and then keep cultivating the sexual relationship to be more powerful, profound, intimate, passionate, romantic, beautiful, etc, etc all that good stuff. There isn’t really a limit.
I like to be in peace but I can’t ignore or suppress ideas within myself. I can’t ignore emotions. My partner has a friend… who is incredibly beautiful. Like drop dead stunning, high percentile beauty… one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever met aside from my partner… looks, personality, everything. Similar interests as my partner but still unique in her own way. I’ve met her a couple of times and it’s great vibes all around. Recently saw her at a tea party. We’re all on the same wavelength… the connection is that strong. All extreme empaths, all high HSP, etc.
I have potential fantasy somewhere… where we all manifest like a beautiful romantic encounter together. Like straight out of a fantasy romance novel type of beautiful, the kind that would make you weep or some shit. Basically a threesome. It’s super in the back of my mind, and there is nothing whatsoever that I’ve seen which could suggest the possibility of that ever happening. I’m like 95% monogamy/settled and 5% this little threesome fantasy. I can’t ignore this 5%, I have to be thorough and keep it real with myself. I’m just going to leave it at that… I don’t even know what else to say or think about on this matter. It’s not something I’m pursuing, it’s just something that’s there. Maybe it goes away or maybe it gets stronger. Not sure.
Now that I’ve gotten so much clarity and settled on my romantic/sex life skill tree… I’m now moving towards my other relationships.
Social life. Friends.
I have to map this shit all out and get serious about QoLing it. I have to start ranking my friends and become more methodical on developing relationships and spending time with people. Need more precision.
Obviously my partner is not only my ultimate lover but also my best friend, so she is at the top of the food chain. My last few posts about overwhelment, I see what the solution is now. Once I’m fulfilled through many extreme percentile relationships, I’ll probably get settled and chill out on my interest in novelty. Quality, not quantity. So I just have to get it going and work backwards, and things will get clearer as I level up. I can already see different levels and strengths of relationships.
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Lol, psychological projection is a butchered concept.
In today’s modern age, the accusation of one projecting, is more of a defense mechanism than projecting itself.
Really understand what I just said because it’s a very powerful concept. That sentence is too deep, it can’t be overlooked at face value.
Because of how society is inherently set up from a foundational standpoint, whereby the average person is super traumatized, snow flakey, shadow self unintegrated and easily triggered with no congruent self-worth or self-love… in any reported dynamic of projecting, it is more likely to be a defense mechanism of the individual claiming rather than a correct assessment on their behalf.
Stuff like this, are the real red pills.
Understand that most people are wisps in the wind… that if the chips were down, would not hesitate in a moments notice to forgo values in exchange for selfishness. The conscious rationality always walks in the shadow of your congruent subconscious framework.
Our demons masquerade as angels.
That’s a shadow work concept.
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lol @pacman not really directed to you, your post stimulated some thought processes and i just wrote em in my journal
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One of the best examples is the Black Friday people, lol.
Everyday people that watch movies, work their 9-5’s, drink Starbucks coffee, etc…
In tested situations of FOMO and scarcity, go full low IQ monkey mode with no regard for each other hahaha
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I don’t want some lurker to read all this and develop a pessimistic view on humans, lol.
This is very advanced level shit what I’m writing here. You have to really be a thinker.
Quick summary to my past 3 posts:
The point I’m making, is that the psychological concept of projecting has become twisted in modern day society.
Instances of actual psychological projection have now become like UFO sightings, meaning the report to actuality ratio is below average.
If you were to scoop up 1000 reported dynamics of projecting from society and explore them… you would find that less than 50% constitute as a concrete instance of psychological projection.
The other instances (more than 50%) would constitute as a a defense mechanism in the form of accusing psychological projection.
That has to do with the way society is set up… people are extremely defensive due to being extremely traumatized which causes them twist concepts to maintain safety.
A real life example that I’ve seen countless times in many forms:
Person A is a lazy couch potato that is doing nothing with their life.
Person B walks into the room and says “Person A, you need to get off your ass… it’s not healthy to live like that”.
Person A: “YOU’RE PROJECTING.”
This is an example of where accusing psychological projection is used as a defense mechanism to cope with an attack on safety, ego, or self identity of an individual - which all happen to be very fragile.
My whole argument, is that the these instances are more common than actual instances of projecting.
To the point that if you hear a reported projecting dynamic, it is generally more logical to assume that the accusation is a defensive mechanism rather than a correct analysis.
Hence why I say that it’s a butchered concept.
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Have to clear some up otherwise some depressive teenage lurker is going to read my posts, become more pessimistic and not want to make any friends. Lmao.
This statement:
Has nothing to do with individuals. It’s a generalization for the sake of probability.
“If the chips were down”.
The problem with this line of thinking when it comes to individuals, is that… there is no “if” and there is no “when”.
The overly pessimistic view of an individual in regards to their “negative” potential is an impractical mental masturbation.
Everything you manifest in your life, whether experiences or people… is beyond precise.
Given the precise nature of reality in terms of co-creation and manifestation, “what if” scenarios aren’t actually practical. People don’t operate in the realm of probability, so you can’t perceive them through that filter.
You can only perceive people through the context of where they’re presently at - in the now.
Summary:
I have a friend. Yes, in some hypothetical situations where our plane crashes, we’re starving and stranded… he might try to eat me. Lmao.
In some other amazing hypothetical situations, they might win the lottery and buy me a new Ferrari.
The potential of an individual that you interact with is only valid in the present moment. Hypothetical potential is irrelevant and impractical in regard to individuals.
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-begins sipping daily tea-
It’s quite nice to see people understand the importance of having a healthy sexuality. Most men don’t have anything close to one, lmao.
It all goes back to the concept of goal posts, levels, percentiles and relativity.
9/10 men think it’s normal to watch porn. You would really have to be a thinker to understand how mindbogglingly insane that is. Mindbogglingly insane is actually an understatement, but it’s the best I can do… given my limited vocabulary. There is absolutely nothing normal about watching porn, it’s beyond warped.
You would have to go out in nature for like a year, to truly gain perspective on what’s insane and what isn’t. That’s usually where you get the redpills from - it’s by detaching yourself from the shit pits because you yourself cannot see what you’re in, when you’re in it.
The absurdly low goal post of society, is very much like a cult. Full on blinders. If you listen to people who leave cults… they mainly realize the true extent of how fucked up the cult was after they leave.
Nasty work out here. Lmao.
Goal posts, goal posts, goal posts.
As a man as you have to go up in the percentiles. You can never allow stagnation to claim you.
Many men fear stagnation.
As if it’s something to avoid.
As if it’s a predator, to which you are the prey.
No.
Stagnation is the prey.
These people lost, because they don’t actively live in an anti-stagnant state.
They live in a neutral state, where stagnation watches and observes them.
Too complacent. Too merciful, in that you even give it the privilege to bear witness to you.
I don’t fear stagnation.
How can something claim you… when all you know is how to slice its head off.
Anti-stagnation is the religion of peak human. It is the blood sport of being a pinnacle man.
In the Aliens Vs Predator movies, the Predators hunted the aliens as a sport. It was a rite of passage. They made trophies out of them. It gave them status and reputation. It allowed them to test their skills and abilities. It was their culture.
We are the Predators and stagnation are the aliens.
This is the culture of Man.
This is not the culture we have been taught from society.
“Quite” the contrary.
If you aren’t accountable and don’t take things into your own hands… you will become dust. You will lose to the sharks, whose hands are callused by doing exactly that.
You need to be in a group of men, whose ideals are so upper echelon that you have no choice but to be a monster. Where there is accountability and competition in who can reach the highest forms of self-discipline.
Get away from all the low-percentile baby shit and cut yourself from the cloth.
Move the fucking goal post. Or at least die trying.
Lmao.
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I like this quote from someone called Rumi
“You are not a drop in the ocean , you are the ocean in a drop”
Still don’t really know who he is aside from a google search revealing he’s a poet. Too lazy to give a fuck about him - I just dig the quotes lol.
Weird thought because my brain looks for patterns and shit. They say the earth is about 70% ocean. They also say that the human body is about 60-70% water. I don’t know why that’s interesting lmao.
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I liken my opposition to cigars.
Sitting aridly at the table.
Lacking the fire and energy to make any substantial impact.
Rolled up safely in a cushion of self-preservation.
And last but not least.
Waiting to get smoked.
In my journey of growth, I once ventured through the caves of shadow.
It was there that I met a hopeless man, crawling in the dark.
I crouched down to him and his eyes lit up.
Hopeless Man: I am dying. Please help me.
A tear trickled down his cheek.
I could not help him.
I sat by his side and told him the truth.
Me: In your darkest hour, the great savior will come. The magnificent hero.
The hopeless man’s entire face lit up with relief.
Hopeless Man: Long have I awaited!
I patted him on the head. This time a tear trickling down my own cheek.
Hopeless Man: Oh wanderer! What is the name of this great savior who will relieve me from my pain?
I clutched his face, and looked him dead in the eyes.
Me: Their name is Nothing. When you are at your last breath of hope and in the darkest hour of despair… it is Nothing, that will come and save you.
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new levels updated
Been about about a month… time to update my levels, lol:
Health = 9.7/10 and increasing.
At the percentile that my health is on… I can’t really write about it here. It’s too woo-woo, lol. Certain things, if I type on here… it does more damage than good because of people not being ready for the information. So I won’t bother.
I had to look at things in an alternative way. I also dropped all supplements.
Fitness/Body Aesthetics = 8.3/10 and increasing.
I seem to have successfully recomped in the past month although very slightly. Enough to notice. I’m not on Creatine anymore (not sure how long it takes to leave the system but it’s been a while) and I still look bigger to the point that people are commenting on it.
I already have abs, a chiseled adonis belt and good proportions. I’m mainly after more mass and definition in a way that is proportionate. I want to look freakish and push the “limit” of what’s achievable naturally. In December, I plan to start LoTS journal. Estimating that by then I’ll be at least 8.5/10 and then use LoTS for a year and see how I can go… if there really even is a 10/10.
From a fitness perspective, I’m trying to spice things up and incorporate dance as an outlet, rather than just being a gym monkey. Also considering stuff like calisthenics or maybe even yoga, although not really sure yet.
Wealth = 7.5/10 and increasing.
This month of June has been the best June month that I’ve ever had in my entire life, from a financial standpoint.
I’m cheating a little bit here, because a .5 increase is pretty whopping. I’ve basically gained more clarity on what financial freedom is to me… and I realized how close I am to that. I seem to have become less materialistic in these past weeks due to my epiphanies in nature. Certain interests just vanished and things became very simple. I’ve journaled many times on here about wanting a mansion and a private swimming pool. I no longer give a fuck about a mansion or any of that. I’m basically trying to maximize moments and I’ve come to the conclusion that although money plays a part in that, it caps out very quickly, depending on what type of moments you’re after. Complicated stuff. That being said, I need to keep going, keep progressing and keep realizing. I can never be stagnant in a conclusion when it comes to QoL.
Romantic Life = 8.8/10 and increasing.
This is the easiest for me to QoL due to its simplicity and straightforwardness as I described earlier. It’s weird that this is what most people fantasize about and yet how easy it is to do, when compared to other areas of QoL. I don’t know, that’s just my personal opinion.
It seems that you can just keep going more and more, endlessly. Kind of frightening, kind of beautiful. But those dualities are the most intriguing… are they not? Hahaha.
One thing I’ve learned, is that there is no such thing as your relationship falling off or losing that flame. There is no temporary high. All low percentile shit. I haven’t experienced anything like that… I’ve just gone deeper and deeper and I will continue to do so. Seems like every day is a new zone in the same direction. There are no limits and you get to enjoy the fruits of your own progression.
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On the side I have been leveling up certain valuable skills… such as persuasion, navigation, cooking and humor. My interest in learning new languages has dissipated, lol. Too lazy to write about why.
My top 2 skills that interest me at the moment are cooking and humor, because they are core and universal QoL enhancers which make them extremely high ROI. The introduction of good humor can make any interaction more enjoyable.
Navigation because, I’ll be honest… I got lost in the forest. Deadass. Lmao