How do I differentiate from my personal boundaries being violated or me projecting on to people?
Can you give some examples ?
For example if I dislike certain qualities in a person I am having a conversation with, that could possibly mean me projecting on to them.
How would I know if that person is violating my boundaries and that’s why I’m feeling this particular way.
So in order to know when someone violates your boundaries you kind of have to have a clear distinct idea of what those boundaries are.
Do you have that? The whole “is this me projecting” can turn into a dangerous game with the right people. They’ll twist that guilt for their own gain. That’s why personally I think it’s better to establish firm boundaries then look into possible projection. Even if you setup boundaries so those emotional parts of yourself that get triggered have some space is ok. If you know certain things upset you, you can take steps to make sure they are limited in impact. I don’t see it as either or, I see boundaries in place all the time as a good thing even if that means an expression of the shadow self.
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Imagine a house with walls that represent your personal boundaries. If someone breaks into your house without your permission, it’s a clear violation of your boundaries. You feel angry, upset, or uncomfortable because someone has invaded your space.
On the other hand, if you have a mirror in your house and you start getting annoyed by your own reflection, it’s likely projection. The mirror is merely reflecting back what you already have within you.
So, if you feel a negative reaction towards someone’s qualities, ask yourself: Is someone crossing your boundaries like an intruder in your house, or are you seeing qualities in them that you dislike because they reflect something within yourself?
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Too bad you didn’t stick to Ascension…
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Nobody can violate your boundaries unless you invite them to do so. Imagine you had no boundaries? Would you need protection then? No you wouldn’t. There would be nothing to violate or attack. Imagine being like air or water. Try to attack the air or water and it just moves around you. If you push down your boundaries you open the doors to true authentic vulnerability and freedom. Yielding to force can be a great way to guide it. When you yield you allow, that is true power.
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As for projections. Ask truth what’s my point of view about projections, expectations, rejections, separations, illusions and conclusions? Truth, Are they real? Are they solid and dense? Use the question to arrive at the awareness. What projections are you choosing to validate others points of views are real and true for you? Would you be open to the possibility of choosing something different or lighter? What’s the value of holding onto projections that you are choosing? Would you be willing to clear that?
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I’m just curious to know what you would call this hypothetical scenario I’ll lay out here. Let’s say you have a friend and they continuously put you down. Slight comments, chipping away at you. Are you saying in a situation like that you’d be unaffected by their comments? Or if you weren’t unaffected and eventually distanced yourself or disconnected wouldn’t that be boundaries? I’m trying to understand how having zero boundaries works, it seems inevitable you have to enforce boundaries.
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When I’m talking about no boundaries, I’m also talking about the state of consciousness of allowing. Ok so what is allowing? The best way I can explain it is. You are a rock in a stream, the water around you are your external influences and others around you. The rock stays still and the water just moves around it. This is allowing in action because you are the rock and everything just flows around you and downstream. What I’m saying is that will no boundaries their words, and actions towards you just pass right through you. It’s like your air or water. With boundaries you have walls and barriers. When you have walls you have something to attack. When you got huge walls or barriers the other person is like. “Hey this guys got walls I can beat on, I’ll think I’ll beat on his walls and fight with him”. if i were totally open, free and vulnerable, the other person could verbally attack me but I would allow it and let them run out of steam or energy. I find if someone is arguing with me. I just push all my barriers down and let them pass right through me without a point of view or judgement. After about 5 minutes they always run out of steam and stop arguing with me because i don’t fight back, I allow them to shit talk right through me. Doesn’t bother me. I don’t take it personal. I see them with awareness that they are just in state of consciousness of arguments.
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If it works for you. Personally I feel this could quickly turn into enabling behavior and seems risky. Plus it puts the responsibility on you when someone wants to carry out abusive behavior.
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I see boundaries as more liberties people take with you (not intentionally sometimes) and then you tell them you don’t accept certain behaviours if you don’t tolerate them.
Projection seems like things you are dealing with being brought out by other people and then taking it out directly at them.
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I would suggest you use turtle medicine to help shield you from unwanted behaviors or actions other take towards you. Turtles have amazing protection medicine. If you learn to be like a turtle then what others say or do just bounce off of your shell. Turtles are secure and always have a home within them. They have great wisdom in always knowing that protection is available to them when ever asked for.
As for me I use the swan medicine which is grace. Grace and surrender to the great primordial spiral of life. Through grace I have transformed through my surrendering of my boundaries and walls. I let go of the self-defense mechanisms and completely surrender to the flow of divine harmony. When you have this harmony all relationships around you reflect this harmony and grace already within you. The question is how do you tap into this his divine grace and harmony? The key is surrender and forgiveness.
Everyone must walk their own special unique path, use the medicines and powers of the animals to help you traverse the middle plane of existence aka physical earth.
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