I feel something that may be a kind of recon. It’s like being aware of lies and the negativity people live and try to put their frame of those lies and their negativity on you.
Today I’m getting sick of how primitive, reactive and negative some people are. My current circumstances (unemployed, looking for a job and staying at home) and living among people like that (my gf’s family) makes me frustrated and it feels like a strong desire to punch at all the walls, physical and psychological till they break apart. Also, I’m getting more aware and tired of how my gf and I don’t match. I’ve known it since we met but tried to work it out but now I see how much she is entangled in the programming her family and culture put on her and I have no faith whatsoever she’ll ever free up herself from it, even by using subs since that’s just the local mentality she grew up in. I don’t want her inner beliefs and her attitude towards life, that I consider detrimental, to hold us, and therefore me, back. I’m tired of babysitting her (taking care of her financially, in the first place) and bullshitting me it’s me who is immature and has to grow up.
I think I should get rid of her ASAP and start afresh and next time be more picky and careful while picking out a woman.
I wonder if that chain of reasoning is a part of recon or it’s just related to my mindset reframing. Anyway, it does not feel good but I have no other choice than accept it and keep going.