So after taking a two month break from subliminals due to having my last stack destroyed in a hail of recon and indecision, I did a lot of thinking during this time while at the same time let the recon and previous scripts settle so that I could think clearly.
Clearly it wasn’t the audios that were the problem but rhe direction I wanted to take without being sure where I wanted to go. Or at least thinkimg I knew the destination but wasn’t happy with the journey…
I had too much desire to start things when they were the “right way”. As in “so and so will be fixed and then I will do xyz”. That wasn’t happening and it usually led to irritability and then trying to restart this same cycle of expectation and disappointment with another stack.
This time it’s more clear. I don’t expect anything to be pristine or achieved without having some blood, sweat and failures along the way. Since am already failing with my previous plan, I would rather fail so that I could learn rather than ditch a whole project.
So why Emperor + Stark + Chosen? There was this convo I had with Saint a long time back when I asked him what stack would be ideal for an INFJ like me and he said:
And this convo was playing a lot in my mind the last few weeks. An insistent thought which I had to contend with.
Now i had run Stark and Emperor before but I wasn’t able to maximize their potential due to a closed mind on what was possible with them especially after Stark Black snd Emperor Daddy came out and which I thought would be good replacements for the two mentioned titles. The latter titles were brilliant but I simply wasn’t in a place where I could leverage them.
And Chosen? I was frankly too mesmerised but afraid to run it in case I would lose myself in inspiring others without having anything to inspire me.
But I need Chosen now. I need what it will give me beyond just giving others hope and courage. It will give those to me before I have to give to others. And Stark and Emperor will help witb the intelligence and action to achieve those goals.
I have also come to the conclusion to not worry too much about my health issues. Too long I have made those the core of my life with stacks planned to address them and waiting for it to improve before I set my eyes on domains of helping my fellowmen, intelligence, wealth and such accomplishments.
Let me toil and not be stuck in this loop anymore. I have had enough mental, emotional, spiritual hesling. So am ready for the real thing. To stand in reality and not be afraid to face the real world for that is what we make of it.
Embrace myself. Accept my nature and know that being myself can be fun and rewarding even if the journey is difficult. The journey to free myself from self-imposed chains regardless of the people around me and circumstances.
Greater obstacles have been surmounted by people with more challenges. I can too. I can build a life for myself that I can be proud of.
Be free. And ascend.
Know that it’s not only financial, mental, emotional, spiritual, sexual freedom that is enough. I need a mission too. So that every day when I wake up, I can feel that magical lightness of being I used to feel as a child when everything made sense.
I need to feel that I can truly ascend. Feel that feeling of flying in my heart. A wonder for being part of a bigger purpose. And to earn and grow along the way.
No more selling myself short. And no more thinking that others can’t do the same.
Am here to help. To be the Counselor and Advocate. To be the fully actualized INFJ.
