You always struck me as one of the ones on here looking to improve himself no matter what and your posts are a testament to that and I fully believe you will conquer whatever it is you feel is holding you back.
Trust yourself James, you got this
Rooting for you bud
Peace
Back to running one thirty second loop every other day. I’m not going to even think about increasing the time at all over the next couple of cycles. To me it’s a sign that I have a lot to work through which isn’t really surprising given my past.
I never thought that learning to love myself would be so difficult or time consuming
James be strong keep your chin up brother and stay with LB !! you make these community proud.
Each time @James stand in front of the mirror and read these affirmations every morning,
Or I could just do what Kamal Ravikant recommended in "Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It " and just say " I love myself " all day .
This is my goal with Love Bomb
Fascinating read
Still not feeling the best after dropping down to thirty second loops. Feeling really anxious all week. I’m not going to run anything for the next couple of days and see how I feel. I’m not sure what else to do. Thirty seconds is the lowest that we can go and still get results? Is that correct @SaintSovereign @AnswerGroup
Can I ask when you took a washout and how long it lasted? I only came to realize I had been low key overloaded for a long time when I took a long washout for months. For me it took more than a month for my mind to begin empty and two months to feel completely refreshed. The difference was day and night.
Maybe take more rest days for now to relax instead of cramming more listening into the mind?
I haven’t done a washout in a while. Probably a good idea. I will take one over the next week. Not run anything until at least a week from tomorrow
Third day of my wash out. Busy week for me. The end of the week anyway. Finally having cataract surgery on my right eye Thursday. Then I have a post op appointment on Friday. So by next weekend I can be seeing out of both eyes again. I probably have to wait until late June or into July to get glasses and get everything going so I can see clearly.
Fourth day of the washout. Actually excited about my eye surgery coming this week. I really want to get back to coding but its been a bit of a slog because I sometimes miss often or don’t notice things I probably would with clear vision. I’m still going to make a ton of mistakes but that’s part of the learning process.
I’ve been watching a few tutorials on YouTube and picked up some things I’m excited to work on
You are amazing James! Not many people in your age do I know that want to change something so big as themselves. The most are content in which whatever they are. You are a ligthouse for me. Give hope, zhat You are never to late to change if you really want 
Thank you so much for that
Day five of my washout. Feeling a bit anxious today but I know it’s because of my eye surgery coming up Thursday. Hoping everything goes well.
I don’t know if I’m doing something wrong or being impatient but I haven’t experienced any obvious results yet but if I run anything over thirty second loops I get recon. Do I need more rest days between loops? Maybe two days instead of one?
More action
and
More sleep
I definitely need more sleep but I’m not entirely sure what action to take with LB
You’ve been looking damn good so far, frankly speaking.
Try expressing your experience in loving appreciative ways
Do Gratitude practice. Not forced, but just gentle. (Shoutout to @SuperSaiyan )
Gentle means you don’t contrive fake gratitude, but just regularly and periodically notice if there’s anything for which you feel grateful. Just check and that’s all.
Memento mori is helpful to me and Reverse Memento mori.
Imagine when you were born. Completely helpless and completely dependent. Only able to survive because other people (of course imperfect people) found it important enough to take care of you. Just try to let that mental video rewind back and see yourself there utterly weak, not even able to sit up. Then if you want it can fast forward to the very end in the future somewhere, when this body wears out and falls apart.
Then …zzziiip! You let it snap back to where you are right now, and notice how precious this moment of Livingness is.
You’ve mentioned a few times that for your work you sometimes are caring for people. Allow yourself to be aware of what a spiritual badass that makes you. A soldier amidst the shit and piss of the human condition; just fucking helping, sometimes. That means so damn much.
Lean into it.